Sunday, May 15, 2005

Cold Mountain, Harold & Kumar, Spongebob Movie

Friday I watched Cold Mountain. (If you haven't yet seen this film and don't want to know what happens, just skip on down to the next entry.) Frankly, I thought it sucked. The only people in the movie worth paying attention to were Renee Zellweiger and maybe Jack White. I could happily have lived without just about everyone else. Particularly Jude Law. "I'm walking, I'm pouting and sullen, oh, does she love me or not? Oh, what is war for?" Yeah, shut up. And Nicole Kidman was alright in her interactions with Renee, but otherwise it was a lot more "Oh, woe is me! Does he still love me? When is he coming back? Oh, weep weep I'm so weak and I don't know WHAT I'll do!" Yeah, shut up. And you spend all that time with the two lovers writing sappy letters to each other and mooning around, and in the end (LOOK OUT! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!) he fucking dies anyway. Why didn't he do that an hour and a half earlier and save us all a shitload of grief? I grow ever closer to adding Jude Law to the list of actors whose movies I simply will not watch, a list which already includes Russell Crowe (whom I loathe with a passion undying) and George Clooney.

We also watched Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle which was a RIOT. Aside from being a funny movie with guest appearances by Neil Patrick Harris (Doogie!), Ryan Reynolds (Grr!), and CHRISTOPHER FUCKING MELONI (WHOOOOOT!), Harold and Kumar remind me a lot of myself and Darling Hacking Cough (and not just because Kumar is Indian, either.) The dynamic between them is so very similar sometimes to the way that Darling Hacking Cough and I interacted. You know,
DHC: "Let's go and do ____________!"
Me: "I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, __________ could be dangerous. We could die or be arrested...it's just not safe."
DHC: "Okay, you're probably right. Now put on your shoes and let's go."
Me: "But...I don't know. Death! Injury! Legal repercussions!
DHC: "Come on, seriously. Put on your shoes and let's go or we're going to miss it."
Me: "But..."
DHC: "Don't be a ninny."
Me: "Oh, all right. But if we die, don't say I didn't warn you."
DHC: "Right, whatever."

In conclusion, if you have not yet seen this movie, I suggest you go and rent it right away.

Oh, and we also rented the Spongebob movie. It was all right, but very weird. Also, Scarlett Johannson is not much of a voice actor.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

1776

I watched 1776 yesterday, which was entertaining through frankly not very GOOD. I mean, some of the singing was just plain terrible. However, it was interesting to see (a fictional representation of) what led up to the ratification of the Declaration ofIndenpendence. Despite having taken the requisite field trips to the Liberty Bell and whatnot in Philadelphia (and one thing I will say for the movie is that their descriptions of Philadelphia weather are exactly as I remember it--unbearably hot and muggy and overwhelmed by flies) but I don't think I really learned much. I mean, I had no idea that slavery was even debated at that time. Must say the whole thing gave me a new respect for John Adams and the crew from Massachusetts while making the Pennsylvanians look like a bunch of money-grubbing, syncophantic tools.