Thursday, December 30, 2010

Halloween Update

I know I spent an awful lot of time and energy wailing on this blog about my Halloween costume dilemma. Thus, I figured it would only be fair to give my loyal readers the payoff of finding out the results.

Behold! I give you that Rock of Love himself, the Thorn on your Rose, What the Cat Dragged In....

BRET MICHAELS!




(Rock of Love girls not included...though not from lack of trying. However, The Boyfriend was strangely resistant to the idea. Go figure.)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

An Angry Consumer

Dear Old Navy,

Listen, mostly I really like you. I appreciate that you keep your prices reasonable, have a decent selection, and most importantly make plus-size clothes (I mean, you don't make them available in your stores, because after all, there's not really enough space to display the fat-fat-fatty clothes, but you at least have them on your website, and that's awfully nice of you). I am generally a fan, but today I am so angry with you that I can barely stand it.

Last Thursday (note: nearly a week ago), I placed an order with you. I ordered several items (in order to take advantage of free shipping for orders over $50). Two of these items were Christmas gifts for The Boyfriend, as he also enjoys your clothes and appreciates that you carry styles for the big and tall gentleman. One of these items was an orange (excuse me..."Autumn Log") performance fleece jacket. The Boyfriend needed a new fleece, and his favorite color is orange. I was so excited.

Then, today, I got an email from you explaining that "while processing [my] order, [you] found that the item(s) below are no longer available." The item, of course, being the orange fleece. You refunded my money, which was nice. You also offered me a 10% discount coupon, which was nice, too.

Here is the problem: I ORDERED THE SAME GODDAMN ORANGE FLEECE FOR THE BOYFRIEND LAST YEAR AND YOU DID THE SAME FUCKING THING TO ME! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD KEEP BETTER INVENTORY, IF IT TAKES A FUCKING WEEK FOR YOU TO DISCOVER THAT SOMETHING I FOUND ON YOUR WEBSITE, PURCHASED, RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION FOR, AND PAID FOR NO LONGER EXISTS!

And thanks a lot for your bullshit coupon. To order one more item, I'd have to pay like $8 in shipping, which is likely to be nearly what the item I wish to order is worth after your coupon.

I sent your customer service email a short note, explaining as politely as possible my frustration, and also explaining that since this is the second year in a row this has occurred, I from now on will be taking my holiday shopping elsewhere. After all, I'm already not good enough to shop in your store, now you're telling me you can't be bothered to stock items you've already sold me?

Thank you for all your wonderful help. I guess I will just have to take my lucrative lounge-pant business back to Target.

The Caustic Critic