Saturday, July 17, 2004

Lady Chatterly's Lover

So yesterday I went to the library. I got several books, one of which was Lady Chatterley's Lover. It's supposed to be this scandalous book and whatnot, so obviously I read it first. Well, let me tell you, like the works of the Marquis de Sade, it's not all it's whipped up to be. Basically, this chick marries this guy, who is then goes off to war and comes back paralyzed from the waist down. So she's trying to be nice but he's this super whiny wannabe author guy. So she sleeps with some Irish playwright who suffers from premature ejaculation. And then she gets all sad and ill because she's super-busy taking care of the wheeled wonder and not getting any. So her sister and her father go to Lord Wheels and are like "look, you need to get a nurse," and the hsuband reluctantly agrees. And she talks to the husband and they decide that she should have affairs so she can have a kid. So unbeknownst to the husband (who is busy tyrannizing his new nurse, who has the hots for him) the wife takes up with this scrubby guy who takes care of the Lord's chickens or something. And then there's this big contraversy because she falls in love with this emotionally crippled pseudo-zookeeper. And she tells her husband she's having an affair with this artist friend of hers (this artist friend, in exchange for agreeing to pose as her lover demands she pose naked for him so he can base a pipe sculpture on her) but he doesn't buy it, so she tells him the truth about the chicken guy, and the husband gets furious (even though he doesn't particularly want to be married to her, either) and won't grant her the divorce. The book ends with her waiting for her husband to agree to divorce her while the gamekeeper waits for his bitchy wife to divorce him. In between there are long philosophical dialogues about relationships. It's really quite dull.