I did not get a lot of blogging done in 2015. It's not so much that I had nothing to say, and more that it didn't seem all that important to say it. But now here we are, in a new year! Let's review 2015, eulogize it, lay it to rest, and put out some goals for 2016, shall we?
I have always believed--without a shred of evidence, mind you--that New Year's Eve sets the tone for your whole year. Whatever happens on that night will be reflected throughout the next 365 days, for better or for worse. Last year was...not great. I found myself home alone, crying to my cat while basically everyone I knew went to a party at Captain No-Fun's--a party that no one had the guts to tell me about, and let me figure it out via Facebook. I thought that meant that this would be a year of lonliness and desertion, just me and the cat, by ourselves, dealing with a world that didn't give a shit.
Weirdly, though, it turned out that it WAS an indicator of the year...I'd just interpreted it wrong. Yes, this did turn out to be a year of me and Briscoe going it alone...but that was okay! I realized that I don't actually NEED more than that. Do I like other people? Absolutely! But do I need them to be happy? Nope! I also learned that the people I had considered my closest friends couldn't be relied on. When it comes down to it, they're actually Captain No-Fun's friends. Do they like me? Sure. Will they invite me to things? Sure. But will they invite me to things when it means not inviting him? Nope. Will they make the effort to hang out with me outside of that? Nope. It was a very hard lesson, and it hurt. A lot. It still does, frankly.
But in the course of the year, I met NEW people! My roommates have turned out to be--for the most part--completely awesome. Ms. Neuroart and Bone Girl are a constant joy, even though I spend a lot of my time with them wondering just what the hell is going on. It's wonderful to come home every day and feel like you live in a place with friends, not just a boarding house with random strangers
The Boston Dyke March committee turned out to be a life saver for me. The people I met there have become some of my closest and dearest friends. If I hadn't said yes to that, I don't know what my year would have looked like. Aside from putting on a frankly unbelievable event--we managed to raise our entire budget from the ground up, and create something that drew between 1500 and 2000 people to join together and march through the streets of Boston--I met people who have literally changed my life. They are kind, supportive, funny, and interesting. They've taken me into their lives and their social circles and made me so welcome. In fact, this year I spent Christmas with The Nanny and this NYE was spent with Krav MaGoddess, The Patriarchy, and their friends. It was a turnaround from last year, but it also wouldn't have been possible without my resolution to say yes to things.
Dating was still just a big no. I have issues. I will get to them one of these days. In the meantime, I am reasonably content on my own. As a FB meme from the other day said, "I am not searching for my other half because I'm not a half." If I should happen to meet someone who interests me, that would be nice. However, it's not on my priority list.
What IS on my priority list for 2016?
1. Continue to make new friends and nurture those friendships I've started. I don't think it's possible to have too many friends.
2. Therapy harder. I've frankly got complacent with Valerie, in that I mostly use my time with her for venting and validation. I need to start actually doing some WORK. Probably dealing with my relationship fears, figuring out how to deal with my terror regarding failure, and also maybe figuring out how to be a functional adult without giving up who I am.
3. Creative pursuits. I need to actually DO things, as opposed to just strongly considering doing things.
4. Be more open. This is a carry-over from last year, but the process continues. Now I need to manage to be open, but not be a drunken feelingsbomb. When you're telling people deep dark secrets that you haven't even told your therapist at a NYE party, maybe you need to work on wrangling in the openness just a smidge.
5. Clean better. I know I'm a slob. I will probably always be a slob. Accepting this about myself does not mean that living in squalor is acceptable. Take out your fucking trash, Johnson.
6. Continue to learn, listen, check my privilege, and question my reactions. Accept that I have anxiety, and even with medication some days are going to be a struggle. Know that there will be the occasional anxiety attack for no reason, and that taking an Ativan and going to bed with the cat to watch cartoons is a reasonable response to that.
7. Watch my drinking -- I LOVE to drink, and I think it often loosens me up and brings out the best parts of my personality. Then again, my parents are heavy drinkers/alcoholics, so I should probably keep an eye on that. Drunk once a month or so is fun...drunk every week and you start to turn into a hot mess.
Anyway, I've been working on this entry for two days (as you might be able to guess from the complete disjointed rambling nature of it) and I figure it's time to put down the keyboard as it were and let it go.
Happy New Year!
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Thursday, January 16, 2014
On Life: A Manifesto
Another new year.
Jesus, it seems like Thanksgiving was only last week and now suddenly we're halfway through January already. As I get older, it seems like time gets significantly more capricious each year. It's like "I can't wait for spring / where did spring go? / Why is it so hot? / Oh God, will it ever be warm again? / How can the holidays be here already I thought it was still summer?"
At the end of last year, I was feeling kind of lost and directionless. A bit like a paper boat that had gotten stuck in an eddy--just swirling around and around in circles, not sure how to go forward...not even entirely certain which direction WAS forward. I was feeling trapped, with no idea what to do about it. Lucky for me, a good friend did me a solid and gently lifted my little boat out of the whirlpool, dispensing some good advice and depositing me back into the stream, ready to surge forward toward the horizon. (Thanks, friend. I hope to have the chance to return the favor some day.)
Traditionally, this is the time of year to make resolutions. I generally don't bother, as they usually turn out to be things I am totally not going to do, so instead they become just one more thing to add to the stack of stuff I did not get done, which leads to guilt. And guilt is really nobody's friend. Therefore, instead of resolutions, I have some looser declarations which--like the Pirate code--are more guidelines than anything else.
1. On Writing: Last year, I didn't manage to get my Cannonball Read even close to finished. Although I continued doing the same amount of reading, I had trouble forcing myself to do the reviews. "After all," I figured, "no one is reading them, except my mom. What's the point?" The point, of course, is that goals need to be set and conquered once in a while, if for no other reason than to prove it's possible. Also, writing breeds writing (hence this blog entry). On a related note, if I DO manage to finish Cannonball Read 6, I am going to throw myself a party to celebrate.
2. On Art: When asked recently what I'd want to do if I could do anything, I surprised myself by immediately answering "Art." I've always enjoyed it, but since I left school I haven't done much with it. My reasons have mostly been about lack of time, or space, or materials, or inspiration, but clearly those are just excuses. This year, I am going to try and "art" at least once a week for an hour or two. Maybe not daily, but enough. And I am going to try new mediums, and probably inundate my hapless loved ones with sketches and comics and cross-stitches and slightly lopsided sculpey figurines of yaks. I have realized that I can't art for myself, but I am great at arting for others, so that's what I'll do. What I'll get out of it is the process of creating, exercises for a muscle I'd almost forgotten I had.
3. On Exercise: I would like to say that I am going to take up a focused exercise program and learn to love working out, but that would be a bald-faced lie. What I AM going to do is continue looking for something active that I like to do. Monday I've committed to trying a Bollywood dance fitness class. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I won't. But I'm not going to let the possibility of a bunch of skinny, flexible people giving me the hairy eyeball keep me from trying it. If I don't like it, maybe I'll find something else I do like. And if I like it but don't like them...there's always dvds.
4. On Weddings: According to The Knot, there are exactly 499 days until the Boyfriend and I are scheduled to get married. You'd think after ten years of couplehood I'd be more than ready for it, but I must say that my feet are a little cold now and then. The idea of such a massive undertaking is daunting, particularly for someone like me who has trouble even organizing a meal where all the parts finish at roughly the same time. However, I am going to try to relax and remember that this is not about throwing the social event of the season. It is about celebrating the Boyfriend and my commitment to spending our lives together with our most beloved family and friends. It is not about aisle runners, centerpieces, sand ceremonies, passed hor d'oeuvres, unity candles, save-the-dates, or any of the other bullshit that the WIC (wedding industrial complex) is pushing. We will have the wedding we want, doing things that make sense for us, and we will put aside traditions or trappings that don't. And we will make it super fun. That is my number one priority, and I will be sure to keep that at the top of my mind when making decisions.
5. On Diets: I have decided to give up on dieting. I don't like it, it doesn't like me, and frankly it does me very little good. I will say that making an effort to eat more healthy this year (i.e. more vegetables, fewer processed foods) is on my list of things to do, as well as the aforementioned exercise. However, I am not going to count or calculate or weigh or watch. I am a fat person. I am also a healthy person--my blood pressure and cholesterol are basically perfect, my asthma's improved, and since I started taking vitamins I've been sick a whole lot less. I am not going to torture myself anymore about my weight. I am who I am, and those who don't like it are welcome to exit stage left. Also, comments about "don't you want to be a beautiful bride?" will be met by hostility, as I would be a be a beautiful bride if I were to get married tomorrow, motherfucker, and don't you forget it.
6. On Outlook (no, not the email program): A friend recently described my personality as a "reliable little grey cloud." I am pretty sure that he meant that affectionately, but that makes it no less depressing. Nobody likes to be thought of as a rain cloud--we all want to be the sunbeam in others' lives. Now, I'm aware that he was totally accurate in that my natural personality does not trend toward sunny or optimistic, but I suspect that is something that can be learned (or at least faked with concerted effort). I also suspect that once I make the effort, it will begin to become second nature through sheer habit. This is a tough one, and I'm not sure how much progress I can make, but it's worth a shot.
7. On Openness: This last is the most difficult, but also potentially the most rewarding. It ties in with the Outlook issue, in that it's going to be a major change and will require a certain amount of brutally painful effort. This year, I intend to become more open and available to people. It should not take someone more than two (or even six or eight) years to feel as though they are friends with me. I'm not saying I plan to become a Barnacle Girl, glomming on to everyone in sight and declaring them my very bestest friend. But I should definitely be capable of making conversation and possibly arranging plans. I've been told by a number of people over the years that they would have liked to get to know me better, but that I come off very aloof. It's true; I do come off aloof, and it's both a function of genetics (my father's photo may actually be next to the word "aloof" in the dictionary) and experience (it's tough to reject someone who wasn't interested in you in the first place, after all). But I am not twelve years old anymore, and I need to stop expecting people to behave the way they did back then. Seriously, it's not brain surgery! It's "Let's hang out...okay, how about this time at this place?" God knows that once I'm comfortable with someone it's nearly impossible to get me to shut up, I just need to start opening my mouth sooner.
And there you have it. I think seven declarations are enough for the time being. Some are easier than others, but I think all are totally manageable in context. Now it's just a matter of getting started...
Jesus, it seems like Thanksgiving was only last week and now suddenly we're halfway through January already. As I get older, it seems like time gets significantly more capricious each year. It's like "I can't wait for spring / where did spring go? / Why is it so hot? / Oh God, will it ever be warm again? / How can the holidays be here already I thought it was still summer?"
At the end of last year, I was feeling kind of lost and directionless. A bit like a paper boat that had gotten stuck in an eddy--just swirling around and around in circles, not sure how to go forward...not even entirely certain which direction WAS forward. I was feeling trapped, with no idea what to do about it. Lucky for me, a good friend did me a solid and gently lifted my little boat out of the whirlpool, dispensing some good advice and depositing me back into the stream, ready to surge forward toward the horizon. (Thanks, friend. I hope to have the chance to return the favor some day.)
Traditionally, this is the time of year to make resolutions. I generally don't bother, as they usually turn out to be things I am totally not going to do, so instead they become just one more thing to add to the stack of stuff I did not get done, which leads to guilt. And guilt is really nobody's friend. Therefore, instead of resolutions, I have some looser declarations which--like the Pirate code--are more guidelines than anything else.
1. On Writing: Last year, I didn't manage to get my Cannonball Read even close to finished. Although I continued doing the same amount of reading, I had trouble forcing myself to do the reviews. "After all," I figured, "no one is reading them, except my mom. What's the point?" The point, of course, is that goals need to be set and conquered once in a while, if for no other reason than to prove it's possible. Also, writing breeds writing (hence this blog entry). On a related note, if I DO manage to finish Cannonball Read 6, I am going to throw myself a party to celebrate.
2. On Art: When asked recently what I'd want to do if I could do anything, I surprised myself by immediately answering "Art." I've always enjoyed it, but since I left school I haven't done much with it. My reasons have mostly been about lack of time, or space, or materials, or inspiration, but clearly those are just excuses. This year, I am going to try and "art" at least once a week for an hour or two. Maybe not daily, but enough. And I am going to try new mediums, and probably inundate my hapless loved ones with sketches and comics and cross-stitches and slightly lopsided sculpey figurines of yaks. I have realized that I can't art for myself, but I am great at arting for others, so that's what I'll do. What I'll get out of it is the process of creating, exercises for a muscle I'd almost forgotten I had.
3. On Exercise: I would like to say that I am going to take up a focused exercise program and learn to love working out, but that would be a bald-faced lie. What I AM going to do is continue looking for something active that I like to do. Monday I've committed to trying a Bollywood dance fitness class. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I won't. But I'm not going to let the possibility of a bunch of skinny, flexible people giving me the hairy eyeball keep me from trying it. If I don't like it, maybe I'll find something else I do like. And if I like it but don't like them...there's always dvds.
4. On Weddings: According to The Knot, there are exactly 499 days until the Boyfriend and I are scheduled to get married. You'd think after ten years of couplehood I'd be more than ready for it, but I must say that my feet are a little cold now and then. The idea of such a massive undertaking is daunting, particularly for someone like me who has trouble even organizing a meal where all the parts finish at roughly the same time. However, I am going to try to relax and remember that this is not about throwing the social event of the season. It is about celebrating the Boyfriend and my commitment to spending our lives together with our most beloved family and friends. It is not about aisle runners, centerpieces, sand ceremonies, passed hor d'oeuvres, unity candles, save-the-dates, or any of the other bullshit that the WIC (wedding industrial complex) is pushing. We will have the wedding we want, doing things that make sense for us, and we will put aside traditions or trappings that don't. And we will make it super fun. That is my number one priority, and I will be sure to keep that at the top of my mind when making decisions.
5. On Diets: I have decided to give up on dieting. I don't like it, it doesn't like me, and frankly it does me very little good. I will say that making an effort to eat more healthy this year (i.e. more vegetables, fewer processed foods) is on my list of things to do, as well as the aforementioned exercise. However, I am not going to count or calculate or weigh or watch. I am a fat person. I am also a healthy person--my blood pressure and cholesterol are basically perfect, my asthma's improved, and since I started taking vitamins I've been sick a whole lot less. I am not going to torture myself anymore about my weight. I am who I am, and those who don't like it are welcome to exit stage left. Also, comments about "don't you want to be a beautiful bride?" will be met by hostility, as I would be a be a beautiful bride if I were to get married tomorrow, motherfucker, and don't you forget it.
6. On Outlook (no, not the email program): A friend recently described my personality as a "reliable little grey cloud." I am pretty sure that he meant that affectionately, but that makes it no less depressing. Nobody likes to be thought of as a rain cloud--we all want to be the sunbeam in others' lives. Now, I'm aware that he was totally accurate in that my natural personality does not trend toward sunny or optimistic, but I suspect that is something that can be learned (or at least faked with concerted effort). I also suspect that once I make the effort, it will begin to become second nature through sheer habit. This is a tough one, and I'm not sure how much progress I can make, but it's worth a shot.
7. On Openness: This last is the most difficult, but also potentially the most rewarding. It ties in with the Outlook issue, in that it's going to be a major change and will require a certain amount of brutally painful effort. This year, I intend to become more open and available to people. It should not take someone more than two (or even six or eight) years to feel as though they are friends with me. I'm not saying I plan to become a Barnacle Girl, glomming on to everyone in sight and declaring them my very bestest friend. But I should definitely be capable of making conversation and possibly arranging plans. I've been told by a number of people over the years that they would have liked to get to know me better, but that I come off very aloof. It's true; I do come off aloof, and it's both a function of genetics (my father's photo may actually be next to the word "aloof" in the dictionary) and experience (it's tough to reject someone who wasn't interested in you in the first place, after all). But I am not twelve years old anymore, and I need to stop expecting people to behave the way they did back then. Seriously, it's not brain surgery! It's "Let's hang out...okay, how about this time at this place?" God knows that once I'm comfortable with someone it's nearly impossible to get me to shut up, I just need to start opening my mouth sooner.
And there you have it. I think seven declarations are enough for the time being. Some are easier than others, but I think all are totally manageable in context. Now it's just a matter of getting started...
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Why Comparing the Danger of Cars to That of Guns is Stupid
I do not usually post about political things, but today is just one of those days that has pushed me to a point where it's either write a blog about my irritation or start yelling at people on Facebook who are ostensibly my friends. Since I like my friends (despite their occasionally ill-informed opinions) I thought it would be better for me to vent here, to my "tens" of readers.
I grew up in place where guns are fairly common. While my parents don't own any, nor do they have any interest in them, my grandfather is an avid hunter and target shooter, and his wife is also a gun enthusiast. I have been taught the basics of gun safety and have shot some of the smaller weapons. I do not have a problem with people owning guns in general. Rifles for hunting, hand guns for protection or target shooting seem perfectly reasonable to me. I am not one of those people who believes that no one should have guns.
I DO however feel that NO ONE (aside from active duty military personnel in a war zone) needs to own a semi- or automatic assault rifle. I don't think that anyone needs a magazine that holds more than ten rounds (if you can't "protect yourself" with ten rounds, then either you are a VERY bad shot who probably shouldn't be firing a gun in the first place, or you are trying to take down a rhino, which happens very rarely in North America). I believe very strongly that a thorough background check should be run on anyone who wants to buy a gun, a check that includes both criminal history and documented mental health issues, and I believe that this should be done ANYWHERE a person buys a gun (thus closing the "gun-show loophole"). I believe that there should be a limit on how many guns a person can buy in a given space of time. What possible reason could a person have for needing to buy more than one hand gun in a month?
I am personally on board with every one of the President's executive orders that were released yesterday, and I think that if even half of what was sent to Congress can get passed, it would be an improvement.
Yet there are some people who are reacting as though this means the Gubmint brownshirts will be showing up tomorrow to violently confiscate their .22 hunting rifles. The hysteria is astounding to me. And the worst is the terrible analogies. And the VERY WORST of those is the people who smugly say "Cars kill more people than guns. Maybe we should ban those, too."
First of all, NO ONE IS TRYING TO BAN GUNS. (Okay, probably some people are, but that's not what the president is all about.)
Secondly there are many significant differences between cars and guns. For example:
1. In order to legally drive a car, one must pass a licensing test to prove that one understands the laws and is capable of operating that car in a safe manner.
2. In order to drive a car, one must have adequate vision, and be free of medical conditions that could impair--either physically or mentally--the ability to drive safely (i.e. epilepsy).
3. Operating a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol is illegal, and if caught you can go to jail.
4. In order to drive legally, one must purchase insurance to cover the possibility of damages you might incur or inflict to property or persons.
5. There are rules about operating a car in public -- speed limits, traffic laws, etc -- designed to protect both the driver and others who are sharing the road.
6. Cars must conform to certain criteria. While you may want to fly down the road in a car equipped with jet-fuel powered rocket boosters, you can't. Also, a car must be inspected on a regular basis to be sure it meets safety and operating standards.
7. If you are unable or unwilling to follow the laws of the road and operate your car in a safe manner, your license can be taken away. Do people who have their licenses revoked still drive? Yes, because some people aren't going to follow the rules no matter what. Do most of them still drive? No.
8. Cars were designed to transport people and goods from one place to another. Guns were designed to kill things.
The whole thing is just fucking ridiculous, and I am tired of people acting like this has become Nazi-controlled Germany because our government wants to impose some regulations on deadly weapons.
/rant.
I grew up in place where guns are fairly common. While my parents don't own any, nor do they have any interest in them, my grandfather is an avid hunter and target shooter, and his wife is also a gun enthusiast. I have been taught the basics of gun safety and have shot some of the smaller weapons. I do not have a problem with people owning guns in general. Rifles for hunting, hand guns for protection or target shooting seem perfectly reasonable to me. I am not one of those people who believes that no one should have guns.
I DO however feel that NO ONE (aside from active duty military personnel in a war zone) needs to own a semi- or automatic assault rifle. I don't think that anyone needs a magazine that holds more than ten rounds (if you can't "protect yourself" with ten rounds, then either you are a VERY bad shot who probably shouldn't be firing a gun in the first place, or you are trying to take down a rhino, which happens very rarely in North America). I believe very strongly that a thorough background check should be run on anyone who wants to buy a gun, a check that includes both criminal history and documented mental health issues, and I believe that this should be done ANYWHERE a person buys a gun (thus closing the "gun-show loophole"). I believe that there should be a limit on how many guns a person can buy in a given space of time. What possible reason could a person have for needing to buy more than one hand gun in a month?
I am personally on board with every one of the President's executive orders that were released yesterday, and I think that if even half of what was sent to Congress can get passed, it would be an improvement.
Yet there are some people who are reacting as though this means the Gubmint brownshirts will be showing up tomorrow to violently confiscate their .22 hunting rifles. The hysteria is astounding to me. And the worst is the terrible analogies. And the VERY WORST of those is the people who smugly say "Cars kill more people than guns. Maybe we should ban those, too."
First of all, NO ONE IS TRYING TO BAN GUNS. (Okay, probably some people are, but that's not what the president is all about.)
Secondly there are many significant differences between cars and guns. For example:
1. In order to legally drive a car, one must pass a licensing test to prove that one understands the laws and is capable of operating that car in a safe manner.
2. In order to drive a car, one must have adequate vision, and be free of medical conditions that could impair--either physically or mentally--the ability to drive safely (i.e. epilepsy).
3. Operating a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol is illegal, and if caught you can go to jail.
4. In order to drive legally, one must purchase insurance to cover the possibility of damages you might incur or inflict to property or persons.
5. There are rules about operating a car in public -- speed limits, traffic laws, etc -- designed to protect both the driver and others who are sharing the road.
6. Cars must conform to certain criteria. While you may want to fly down the road in a car equipped with jet-fuel powered rocket boosters, you can't. Also, a car must be inspected on a regular basis to be sure it meets safety and operating standards.
7. If you are unable or unwilling to follow the laws of the road and operate your car in a safe manner, your license can be taken away. Do people who have their licenses revoked still drive? Yes, because some people aren't going to follow the rules no matter what. Do most of them still drive? No.
8. Cars were designed to transport people and goods from one place to another. Guns were designed to kill things.
The whole thing is just fucking ridiculous, and I am tired of people acting like this has become Nazi-controlled Germany because our government wants to impose some regulations on deadly weapons.
/rant.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Life Lessons: 2012
I recently celebrated my 31st birthday, and late in the festivities, I was asked for five life-lessons I have learned in my 3+ decades of living.
Here's what I came up with:
1. Don't make terrible decisions. Of course, not every terrible decision is obvious in its terribleness at the time it's made. But let's admit it: some of them totally are. If something seems like a terrible idea, DON'T DO IT. Or at least think it over further. A lot of the stupid things that have happened to me over the years were preventable, and at the time I was doing them, I KNEW they were bad ideas. So, you know, stop doing that.
2. In the words of the most fabulous RuPaul, "What other people think of me is none of my business." I'm still working on this one, but it's an important step. Learning to live without constantly worrying about how other people perceive me is not easy, but it's definitely been beneficial. As we all know, haters gonna hate. The trick is to say "M'eh. Fuck them." and go one with your life. It's frankly pretty freeing.
3. Get plenty of sleep. Seems pretty obvious, but you'd be surprised how long it took me to come around to this one. I am no longer 21, and therefore I can no longer stay up until the wee hours, then expect to get up in the morning and be effective. Forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour has been a battle, but the results have been worth it. If I'd figured this out earlier, I might have spent a lot less time during my 16 years of education asleep.
4. Moisturize! I caught some flak for this one, since it apparently was not profound enough. Still, it's important. If you don't want your hands to crack and bleed in the winter and feel like they're made of sandpaper, MOISTURIZE! You know why my hands are so soft? Because I moisturize them constantly (and I avoid manual labor, which helps.)
5. Sometimes you have to let things go. Whether it's hurt feelings, clothes that don't fit anymore and probably never will again, friends who have moved off in a different direction, or ideals that are no longer true, some things just have to go. This is another one that has been really hard for me, since I am by nature something of a hoarder. I have wasted too much time and space in my life trying to hang on to things I no longer need. I've learned that if I haven't used or worn it in more than a year, it needs to go. If I am the only one working to maintain a friendship, it's probably not worth keeping. Keeping track of slights and insults is absolutely no benefit to anyone, especially me.
Mind you, all of these are still a work in progress. I am more successful some days than others; there are times when I take two steps forward and one step back in my attempts to improve myself. But the last lesson (a bonus lesson, if you will!) is that Progress is Progress. Figuring this out (mostly with help from Unfuck Your Habitat) has revolutionized my life. Things don't have to be completed or perfect to be an improvement. The important thing is to continue to make an effort. Even if the progress you're making is small, you've still made some, and that is worth being proud of.
I hope that next year I've learned five more useful lessons I can share with all of you!
Here's what I came up with:
1. Don't make terrible decisions. Of course, not every terrible decision is obvious in its terribleness at the time it's made. But let's admit it: some of them totally are. If something seems like a terrible idea, DON'T DO IT. Or at least think it over further. A lot of the stupid things that have happened to me over the years were preventable, and at the time I was doing them, I KNEW they were bad ideas. So, you know, stop doing that.
2. In the words of the most fabulous RuPaul, "What other people think of me is none of my business." I'm still working on this one, but it's an important step. Learning to live without constantly worrying about how other people perceive me is not easy, but it's definitely been beneficial. As we all know, haters gonna hate. The trick is to say "M'eh. Fuck them." and go one with your life. It's frankly pretty freeing.
3. Get plenty of sleep. Seems pretty obvious, but you'd be surprised how long it took me to come around to this one. I am no longer 21, and therefore I can no longer stay up until the wee hours, then expect to get up in the morning and be effective. Forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour has been a battle, but the results have been worth it. If I'd figured this out earlier, I might have spent a lot less time during my 16 years of education asleep.
4. Moisturize! I caught some flak for this one, since it apparently was not profound enough. Still, it's important. If you don't want your hands to crack and bleed in the winter and feel like they're made of sandpaper, MOISTURIZE! You know why my hands are so soft? Because I moisturize them constantly (and I avoid manual labor, which helps.)
5. Sometimes you have to let things go. Whether it's hurt feelings, clothes that don't fit anymore and probably never will again, friends who have moved off in a different direction, or ideals that are no longer true, some things just have to go. This is another one that has been really hard for me, since I am by nature something of a hoarder. I have wasted too much time and space in my life trying to hang on to things I no longer need. I've learned that if I haven't used or worn it in more than a year, it needs to go. If I am the only one working to maintain a friendship, it's probably not worth keeping. Keeping track of slights and insults is absolutely no benefit to anyone, especially me.
Mind you, all of these are still a work in progress. I am more successful some days than others; there are times when I take two steps forward and one step back in my attempts to improve myself. But the last lesson (a bonus lesson, if you will!) is that Progress is Progress. Figuring this out (mostly with help from Unfuck Your Habitat) has revolutionized my life. Things don't have to be completed or perfect to be an improvement. The important thing is to continue to make an effort. Even if the progress you're making is small, you've still made some, and that is worth being proud of.
I hope that next year I've learned five more useful lessons I can share with all of you!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Random Things That Are Not Book Reviews
For that four of you out there who read this blog on a regular basis, you must be getting exceedingly tired of my endless book reviews. I'm not going to STOP with the books, mind you, but I thought at least today I could talk about something different. Besides, I also watch MOVIES!
1. Cannonball Fail #1: Before I get into movies, I have to make mention of my first Cannonball Fail. I tried to read Jane Austen's Sense & Sensibility, but after about 100 pages, I just had to throw it against the wall and give up. I couldn't stand any of the characters--I wanted to take every single person in that story out behind the barn and beat him/her unconscious with a rock. They were all so snooty and archaic. Anyway, I very very rarely give up on a book--sometimes I take...very long breaks, but I nearly always come back and finish--but I couldn't do it. I don't really understand my problem, either. I know several bright, interesting people who truly enjoy Jane Austen's work. And I enjoyed the film based on this book (though I felt that Emma Thompson would have made a much better couple with Alan Rickman than with that stuttering ninny Hugh Grant.) Oh well. Can't win them all, I guess.
2. I am really disappointed by this whole "Congressman Weiner Sends Photos of His Junk to Young Women" scandal. It's a shame that someone who could have been such a beneficial force for the democratic party turned out to be a slave to his penis. Seriously, dude. Have you learned nothing from...every celebrity who has been caught in one of these stupid scandals since the internet began? Don't you know that the girls are GOING TO SELL THE PICTURES? They may weep about how intrusive everyone is and how their lives will never be the same and oh woe is me, Gloria Allred, why has this happened to me? Why won't the media leave meeeeeee alooooone? What they will NOT do is delete the damn pictures and then be like "What pictures?" Do not ever think they will delete the pictures and keep their mouths shut. There is no money or trashy tabloid fame in that. "Ohhh, I just had to tell my story!" Why? How exactly are you enriching the national discourse? ARGH! I am so annoyed by the whole situation. Just once I'd like a politician I like to turn out NOT to be a pervy hobbit-fancier*.
3. The Boston Bruins are in the Stanley Cup finals. I would like to believe it is possible for them to win, but in my (admittedly limited) experience with them, they are really just trying to find the most frustrating and heart-crushing way possible to lose. I have to say I do love when one of the local teams is in championship contention, because the whole city gets excited about it. Total strangers are talking to one another in bus stations, and wearing their related gear with great city pride. I've been pretty lucky since I moved here--the local teams have been having a rather impressive streak of successful seasons. Even someone who was totally anti-sports (like yours truly) can't help but be swept up in it all.
4. The other night, Netflix finally had a copy of Death Race 2000 to send me (the darn film has had been listed as "Long Wait" for about a year). Turns out it is one of the cheesiest films I've ever had the good fortune to be exposed to. For those who are unfamiliar, this is NOT the Jason Statham version but rather the original, where the Death Racers are out on the open roads, trying to both cross the country first AND kill the most pedestrians. David Carradine stars as the masked driver Frankenstein, and he can strip down to his wee speedos all he likes, Jason Statham is going to beat him every time in that competition. Also, he doesn't really measure up in growly witticisms or intense glaring. The whole movie was a cheese fest, and the cars were like something out of Wacky Races. The second best part of the whole thing was that a movie made in 1975 could predict (to an almost eerie degree) our current world of reality TV and government-by-media-based-terror. The best part was that Sylvester Stallone was in it, back before he had the clout to demand that he not appear short in movies. Plus, he spends most of the movie dressed as a gangster (except a notable scene wearing only a towel) and smears cake on people's faces. Good show.
5. On a related note, after finishing up Death Race 2000, I felt the need to continue into a "Sylvester Stallone Marathon." Here's another embarrassing fact about me: I love Sylvester Stallone. I love him almost as much as I love Nic Cage, and for many of the same reasons. First off, they both started out hotter than all hell. Come on, you can't tell me that early 80s Stallone was not attractive! Hell, even in the early 90s he was still doing all right. Okay, yeah, then he stuffed his face full of botox or plastic or wombat glands or whatever and had his eyelids sewed to his forehead and did every steroid in the universe and now he's kind of scary like a Michael Myers Halloween mask. But still! I'm not a fan of the Rocky movies, and I found Rambo rather upsetting to be honest ("That man needs to be in a hospital being treated for his PTSD! It's not right that he's been left to wander the roads alone without any psychiatric treatment!"). Where it's at is definitely Stallone's comedies. I adore Demolition Man and Tango & Cash. I like Judge Dredd a lot. I even giggle at Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Something about his whole "muscle-bound--but still intelligent!--jerkface in an upside down world" scenarios tickles my funny bone. And his voice just makes it that much better. The Boyfriend does not get the appeal, but I think that's because he is totally immune to the draw of camp. I keep hoping that one day, Stallone and Cage will share the screen somehow. Should that happen, I might just explode with joy.
6. Another thing I've been enjoying recently is the BBC show Sherlock. The first season is currently available via Netflix OnDemand, and so far (two episodes in) I've been very impressed. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is just as I always pictured it to be--less combative, as in the recent film version--and more of a symbiotic and occasionally truly affectionate friendship. Benedict Cumberbatch (is that not the most British name you could possibly imagine? I think the only one I can make up that even comes close is Second Leftenant Percy Q. Hufflefufshire, which, BTW, is what I am going to name my dog, should I ever get one) makes a great Holmes--you can often see the wheels in his head actively turning. Martin Freeman (whom I really enjoyed in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and look forward to as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit) is also quite good as Dr. Watson. He's a slightly more complex character than Watson was originally written in the stories, and he does a great job showing both the frustration and the awe that dealing with Holmes on a daily basis inspires. If you have the technology, I highly recommend watching these. There's only 4 episodes in series one I think, so it's not a giant commitment.
So yeah. Apparently I had a lot to say and didn't even get to half the movies I intended to mention, as well as my obsession with NBC's The Voice and the reasons I hate watching Rafael Nadal play tennis. Guess I will have to save those for another entry.
*"Pervy hobbit-fancier" is the invention of the hilarious Cassandra Clare in The Very Secret Diaries. If you have time, and enjoy Lord of the Rings, you should read them. I laugh until I snort every single time.
1. Cannonball Fail #1: Before I get into movies, I have to make mention of my first Cannonball Fail. I tried to read Jane Austen's Sense & Sensibility, but after about 100 pages, I just had to throw it against the wall and give up. I couldn't stand any of the characters--I wanted to take every single person in that story out behind the barn and beat him/her unconscious with a rock. They were all so snooty and archaic. Anyway, I very very rarely give up on a book--sometimes I take...very long breaks, but I nearly always come back and finish--but I couldn't do it. I don't really understand my problem, either. I know several bright, interesting people who truly enjoy Jane Austen's work. And I enjoyed the film based on this book (though I felt that Emma Thompson would have made a much better couple with Alan Rickman than with that stuttering ninny Hugh Grant.) Oh well. Can't win them all, I guess.
2. I am really disappointed by this whole "Congressman Weiner Sends Photos of His Junk to Young Women" scandal. It's a shame that someone who could have been such a beneficial force for the democratic party turned out to be a slave to his penis. Seriously, dude. Have you learned nothing from...every celebrity who has been caught in one of these stupid scandals since the internet began? Don't you know that the girls are GOING TO SELL THE PICTURES? They may weep about how intrusive everyone is and how their lives will never be the same and oh woe is me, Gloria Allred, why has this happened to me? Why won't the media leave meeeeeee alooooone? What they will NOT do is delete the damn pictures and then be like "What pictures?" Do not ever think they will delete the pictures and keep their mouths shut. There is no money or trashy tabloid fame in that. "Ohhh, I just had to tell my story!" Why? How exactly are you enriching the national discourse? ARGH! I am so annoyed by the whole situation. Just once I'd like a politician I like to turn out NOT to be a pervy hobbit-fancier*.
3. The Boston Bruins are in the Stanley Cup finals. I would like to believe it is possible for them to win, but in my (admittedly limited) experience with them, they are really just trying to find the most frustrating and heart-crushing way possible to lose. I have to say I do love when one of the local teams is in championship contention, because the whole city gets excited about it. Total strangers are talking to one another in bus stations, and wearing their related gear with great city pride. I've been pretty lucky since I moved here--the local teams have been having a rather impressive streak of successful seasons. Even someone who was totally anti-sports (like yours truly) can't help but be swept up in it all.
4. The other night, Netflix finally had a copy of Death Race 2000 to send me (the darn film has had been listed as "Long Wait" for about a year). Turns out it is one of the cheesiest films I've ever had the good fortune to be exposed to. For those who are unfamiliar, this is NOT the Jason Statham version but rather the original, where the Death Racers are out on the open roads, trying to both cross the country first AND kill the most pedestrians. David Carradine stars as the masked driver Frankenstein, and he can strip down to his wee speedos all he likes, Jason Statham is going to beat him every time in that competition. Also, he doesn't really measure up in growly witticisms or intense glaring. The whole movie was a cheese fest, and the cars were like something out of Wacky Races. The second best part of the whole thing was that a movie made in 1975 could predict (to an almost eerie degree) our current world of reality TV and government-by-media-based-terror. The best part was that Sylvester Stallone was in it, back before he had the clout to demand that he not appear short in movies. Plus, he spends most of the movie dressed as a gangster (except a notable scene wearing only a towel) and smears cake on people's faces. Good show.
5. On a related note, after finishing up Death Race 2000, I felt the need to continue into a "Sylvester Stallone Marathon." Here's another embarrassing fact about me: I love Sylvester Stallone. I love him almost as much as I love Nic Cage, and for many of the same reasons. First off, they both started out hotter than all hell. Come on, you can't tell me that early 80s Stallone was not attractive! Hell, even in the early 90s he was still doing all right. Okay, yeah, then he stuffed his face full of botox or plastic or wombat glands or whatever and had his eyelids sewed to his forehead and did every steroid in the universe and now he's kind of scary like a Michael Myers Halloween mask. But still! I'm not a fan of the Rocky movies, and I found Rambo rather upsetting to be honest ("That man needs to be in a hospital being treated for his PTSD! It's not right that he's been left to wander the roads alone without any psychiatric treatment!"). Where it's at is definitely Stallone's comedies. I adore Demolition Man and Tango & Cash. I like Judge Dredd a lot. I even giggle at Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Something about his whole "muscle-bound--but still intelligent!--jerkface in an upside down world" scenarios tickles my funny bone. And his voice just makes it that much better. The Boyfriend does not get the appeal, but I think that's because he is totally immune to the draw of camp. I keep hoping that one day, Stallone and Cage will share the screen somehow. Should that happen, I might just explode with joy.
6. Another thing I've been enjoying recently is the BBC show Sherlock. The first season is currently available via Netflix OnDemand, and so far (two episodes in) I've been very impressed. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is just as I always pictured it to be--less combative, as in the recent film version--and more of a symbiotic and occasionally truly affectionate friendship. Benedict Cumberbatch (is that not the most British name you could possibly imagine? I think the only one I can make up that even comes close is Second Leftenant Percy Q. Hufflefufshire, which, BTW, is what I am going to name my dog, should I ever get one) makes a great Holmes--you can often see the wheels in his head actively turning. Martin Freeman (whom I really enjoyed in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and look forward to as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit) is also quite good as Dr. Watson. He's a slightly more complex character than Watson was originally written in the stories, and he does a great job showing both the frustration and the awe that dealing with Holmes on a daily basis inspires. If you have the technology, I highly recommend watching these. There's only 4 episodes in series one I think, so it's not a giant commitment.
So yeah. Apparently I had a lot to say and didn't even get to half the movies I intended to mention, as well as my obsession with NBC's The Voice and the reasons I hate watching Rafael Nadal play tennis. Guess I will have to save those for another entry.
*"Pervy hobbit-fancier" is the invention of the hilarious Cassandra Clare in The Very Secret Diaries. If you have time, and enjoy Lord of the Rings, you should read them. I laugh until I snort every single time.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Things I Like
I do not normally endorse things (besides books and TV, I guess) but I have a couple things/services that I am really happy about at the moment, and I feel like sharing. I am not being paid or receiving any special favors in exchange for this post--in fact, I doubt any of these entities have any idea I am writing this. This is just me telling you stuff I think you should buy because it is awesome. Take it or leave it.
1. Cake Balls: A lovely woman on Etsy who has a store called The Fetching Hound makes a delicious treat she calls Bitty Bites. Everyone in my immediate circle calls them cake balls, and they are THE SHIT. They are basically balls of moist, wonderful cake dipped in either chocolate or some kind of frosting. She makes a bunch of flavors, though my personal favorite is the carrot cake. They are great to send someone for a gift (or great to order and simply stuff your face with -- I am not judging!)
2. Trader Joe's: I have become obsessed with Trader Joe's. I never thought I could fall in love with a grocery store, but here I am! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Trader Joe's is a store that keeps prices down by basically only selling their own brand of products. However, their products are great, so it's not like you're losing out on anything. The things I love specifically are:
4. Bath & Body Works Spa Socks: I totally live in these when I'm not at work. They don't seem to make a masculine version (unless you are a gentleman who enjoys brightly colored stripes and/or dots...and I know there are some of you out there.) Most have the little rubber dots on the bottom to keep you from careening across any hardwood floor you may encounter, but a warning: they do generate a certain amount of static electricity.
5. The Knifty Knitter Circle Loom Set: I long to be crafty, but I have neither the patience nor the coordination to actually learn to knit. With this set, I managed to knock out a perfectly serviceable (and not unattractive) hat in just one afternoon. There are many other uses, including making mittens, scarves, and socks...though I don't have the book to learn those quite yet. Still, these are pretty sweet and made me feel like a true crafter.
If any of you have any recommended products, let me know. And if you only look into one thing on this list, check out the cake balls. You will NOT regret it (though your waistline might!)
1. Cake Balls: A lovely woman on Etsy who has a store called The Fetching Hound makes a delicious treat she calls Bitty Bites. Everyone in my immediate circle calls them cake balls, and they are THE SHIT. They are basically balls of moist, wonderful cake dipped in either chocolate or some kind of frosting. She makes a bunch of flavors, though my personal favorite is the carrot cake. They are great to send someone for a gift (or great to order and simply stuff your face with -- I am not judging!)
2. Trader Joe's: I have become obsessed with Trader Joe's. I never thought I could fall in love with a grocery store, but here I am! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Trader Joe's is a store that keeps prices down by basically only selling their own brand of products. However, their products are great, so it's not like you're losing out on anything. The things I love specifically are:
- Their produce is considerably nicer than that at the grocery store I used to go to. I no longer lose half of every potato to eyes or dark spots. Hell, I don't even really have to peel their potatoes.
- The frozen foods are great. Specifically, the Mandarin Orange Chicken and Vegetable Fried rice are to die for. We eat them at least once a week, and would eat them more if given the chance. Nothing like reasonable, tasty weeknight meals that can be put together in less than half an hour. They've also got a frozen quinoa mix that is extremely tasty.
- The Tea Tree Tingle Shampoo: My hair is finicky at best, and I have spent several years trying to find a shampoo that really works on a daily basis. There was a time in the recent past when I had EIGHT different shampoos in my shower. Now I have one, and it is glorious.
- Everything Pretzel Slims: They are basically just the crispy outside of pretzels, covered with the stuff you'd find on an everything bagel. Wonderful for snacking or dipping.
4. Bath & Body Works Spa Socks: I totally live in these when I'm not at work. They don't seem to make a masculine version (unless you are a gentleman who enjoys brightly colored stripes and/or dots...and I know there are some of you out there.) Most have the little rubber dots on the bottom to keep you from careening across any hardwood floor you may encounter, but a warning: they do generate a certain amount of static electricity.
5. The Knifty Knitter Circle Loom Set: I long to be crafty, but I have neither the patience nor the coordination to actually learn to knit. With this set, I managed to knock out a perfectly serviceable (and not unattractive) hat in just one afternoon. There are many other uses, including making mittens, scarves, and socks...though I don't have the book to learn those quite yet. Still, these are pretty sweet and made me feel like a true crafter.
If any of you have any recommended products, let me know. And if you only look into one thing on this list, check out the cake balls. You will NOT regret it (though your waistline might!)
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Halloween Update
I know I spent an awful lot of time and energy wailing on this blog about my Halloween costume dilemma. Thus, I figured it would only be fair to give my loyal readers the payoff of finding out the results.
Behold! I give you that Rock of Love himself, the Thorn on your Rose, What the Cat Dragged In....
BRET MICHAELS!Behold! I give you that Rock of Love himself, the Thorn on your Rose, What the Cat Dragged In....
(Rock of Love girls not included...though not from lack of trying. However, The Boyfriend was strangely resistant to the idea. Go figure.)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dude, it's time to fire your stylist. Even if he/she DID see you stuffing a hooker in your trunk.
Really? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Why do you do this to me? It's beginning to feel deliberate.
The live snakes are coming.
I'm sure of it.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
An Angry Consumer
Dear Old Navy,
Listen, mostly I really like you. I appreciate that you keep your prices reasonable, have a decent selection, and most importantly make plus-size clothes (I mean, you don't make them available in your stores, because after all, there's not really enough space to display the fat-fat-fatty clothes, but you at least have them on your website, and that's awfully nice of you). I am generally a fan, but today I am so angry with you that I can barely stand it.
Last Thursday (note: nearly a week ago), I placed an order with you. I ordered several items (in order to take advantage of free shipping for orders over $50). Two of these items were Christmas gifts for The Boyfriend, as he also enjoys your clothes and appreciates that you carry styles for the big and tall gentleman. One of these items was an orange (excuse me..."Autumn Log") performance fleece jacket. The Boyfriend needed a new fleece, and his favorite color is orange. I was so excited.
Then, today, I got an email from you explaining that "while processing [my] order, [you] found that the item(s) below are no longer available." The item, of course, being the orange fleece. You refunded my money, which was nice. You also offered me a 10% discount coupon, which was nice, too.
Here is the problem: I ORDERED THE SAME GODDAMN ORANGE FLEECE FOR THE BOYFRIEND LAST YEAR AND YOU DID THE SAME FUCKING THING TO ME! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD KEEP BETTER INVENTORY, IF IT TAKES A FUCKING WEEK FOR YOU TO DISCOVER THAT SOMETHING I FOUND ON YOUR WEBSITE, PURCHASED, RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION FOR, AND PAID FOR NO LONGER EXISTS!
And thanks a lot for your bullshit coupon. To order one more item, I'd have to pay like $8 in shipping, which is likely to be nearly what the item I wish to order is worth after your coupon.
I sent your customer service email a short note, explaining as politely as possible my frustration, and also explaining that since this is the second year in a row this has occurred, I from now on will be taking my holiday shopping elsewhere. After all, I'm already not good enough to shop in your store, now you're telling me you can't be bothered to stock items you've already sold me?
Thank you for all your wonderful help. I guess I will just have to take my lucrative lounge-pant business back to Target.
The Caustic Critic
Listen, mostly I really like you. I appreciate that you keep your prices reasonable, have a decent selection, and most importantly make plus-size clothes (I mean, you don't make them available in your stores, because after all, there's not really enough space to display the fat-fat-fatty clothes, but you at least have them on your website, and that's awfully nice of you). I am generally a fan, but today I am so angry with you that I can barely stand it.
Last Thursday (note: nearly a week ago), I placed an order with you. I ordered several items (in order to take advantage of free shipping for orders over $50). Two of these items were Christmas gifts for The Boyfriend, as he also enjoys your clothes and appreciates that you carry styles for the big and tall gentleman. One of these items was an orange (excuse me..."Autumn Log") performance fleece jacket. The Boyfriend needed a new fleece, and his favorite color is orange. I was so excited.
Then, today, I got an email from you explaining that "while processing [my] order, [you] found that the item(s) below are no longer available." The item, of course, being the orange fleece. You refunded my money, which was nice. You also offered me a 10% discount coupon, which was nice, too.
Here is the problem: I ORDERED THE SAME GODDAMN ORANGE FLEECE FOR THE BOYFRIEND LAST YEAR AND YOU DID THE SAME FUCKING THING TO ME! PERHAPS YOU SHOULD KEEP BETTER INVENTORY, IF IT TAKES A FUCKING WEEK FOR YOU TO DISCOVER THAT SOMETHING I FOUND ON YOUR WEBSITE, PURCHASED, RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION FOR, AND PAID FOR NO LONGER EXISTS!
And thanks a lot for your bullshit coupon. To order one more item, I'd have to pay like $8 in shipping, which is likely to be nearly what the item I wish to order is worth after your coupon.
I sent your customer service email a short note, explaining as politely as possible my frustration, and also explaining that since this is the second year in a row this has occurred, I from now on will be taking my holiday shopping elsewhere. After all, I'm already not good enough to shop in your store, now you're telling me you can't be bothered to stock items you've already sold me?
Thank you for all your wonderful help. I guess I will just have to take my lucrative lounge-pant business back to Target.
The Caustic Critic
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Addendum to 'Observations'
I forgot, when mentioning television shows I've been watching, to bring up Hawaii Five-O. However, I can't pretend that I watch it for any reason other than to drool dreamily at teensy, cranky, adorably Jersey Scott Caan. Therefore, it's probably best to not bring it up.
P.S. I fucking LOVE Scott Caan, okay? I just want to bring him home and snuggle him like a lost hamster. Is that so wrong?
P.P.S. The show itself is not terrible. Sometimes it (mostly Scott Caan) is funny. The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes Alex O'Laughlin takes his shirt off (why not you, Scott Caan?) and that is beautiful too.
P.P.P.S. Actual native Hawaiian actors are being used, it seems, which is a good thing.
P.P.P.P.S. Scott Caan, people. If he's wrong, I don't want to be right.
P.P.P.P.P.S: Don't worry, Nic Cage. Scott Caan is just a fling. You know I'll always love you best.
P.S. I fucking LOVE Scott Caan, okay? I just want to bring him home and snuggle him like a lost hamster. Is that so wrong?
P.P.S. The show itself is not terrible. Sometimes it (mostly Scott Caan) is funny. The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes Alex O'Laughlin takes his shirt off (why not you, Scott Caan?) and that is beautiful too.
P.P.P.S. Actual native Hawaiian actors are being used, it seems, which is a good thing.
P.P.P.P.S. Scott Caan, people. If he's wrong, I don't want to be right.
P.P.P.P.P.S: Don't worry, Nic Cage. Scott Caan is just a fling. You know I'll always love you best.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Observations
I had totally planned to do NaBloPoMo, and then suddenly realized it's November 8th and I am already seven days behind. So that was the end of THAT idea.
I have been reading quite a bit lately, though have not yet started blogging on books again. No word on whether there will be a Cannonball Read 3. I kind of would love to get it going among a small group--more like a book club but we read different books--but I'm not sure how well that idea would go over. After all, most of the people I know (live and virtually) are very busy. If any of you readers are interested or have ideas of your own, please let me know. I guess I feel kind of silly blogging away about books almost by myself. Left to my own devices, I just read them, which is probably not as effective and productive.
Speaking of books, I have discovered that my giant Ikea shelf my parents bought me in
April is now almost completely full (as are all the other shelves in the house.) I am either going to have to do a serious book purge, or I need to find a space to put up the second shelf. (The latter option seems more likely, frankly.)
I have been watching TV lately, some very interesting things going on at the moment. I like all my old favorites (though I find both L&O:LA and L&O:SVU somewhat disappointing) but there are some great new things on that I am really enjoying.
1. Boardwalk Empire, HBO: This show is stellar, and I'm really enjoying it so far. The characters are multi-faceted and well-acted, and the plots are usually very intriguing. Not to mention the set design and costuming are unbelievable. Steve Buscemi is great as Nucky Thompson, a crooked politician who is running Atlantic City at the beginning of Prohibition. Michael Pitt (whom I wasn't really sure of at first) is really settling into his character, dangerous yet vulnerable war-veteran-turning-gangster Jimmy Darmody. At first he seemed unsure of exactly how to play the character, but as time has gone by, I feel like he's gotten a grip on what drives Jimmy's thought processes. Plus the Jimmy character is less lost and has more purpose now. Anyway, it's one of the very few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy, and I recommend it.
2. The Walking Dead, AMC: I just got around to watching the pilot episode for this yesterday, and I was very impressed. I'm kind of surprised to see something like this--humans versus zombies--on mainstream television. I have read the first three books in the comic series on which the show is based, and am thus far pretty impressed how closely the show has stuck to the source material. Anything that was added so far seems to be a benefit. Obviously it's hard to say much about a show having seen only one episode, but I will say the tension was constant, and many of the scares were not so much gore related (though they don't shy away from that) as they were pure "Omigod what is going to happen next Oh why are you going into that dark hallway what are you doing GET OUT OF THERE!" thrills. I was interested to check this out because I have enjoyed Frank Darabont's previous Stephen King adaptations (the only director, IMHO, who has had any luck adapting King works). So far, so good, though I suspect it won't take me long to hate the wife character. It's also kind of great that while there are no "big name" stars in this, there are several "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. If I were you, I'd check it out.
3. Raising Hope, Fox: I don't watch too many sitcoms these days (mostly just The Big Bang Theory and Community) but this one is definitely worth watching. It's the story of Jimmy Chance, a not-very-bright young dude who winds up with a baby after a one night stand with a serial killer. Jimmy decides that he is going to keep the baby, Hope (or as her mother named her, "Princess Beyonce") and raise her himself, trying to avoid the mistakes made by his parents, who were teenagers when he was born. The parents are played to perfection by Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt. I have always loved Martha Plimpton, and her portrayal of cynical cleaning lady Virginia is hilarious. Even better is Garret Dillahunt; I have really liked him in everything he's done before--he's done brilliant work as creepy, evil characters on Deadwood, Life, and Burn Notice--so it's a treat to see him play the good-natured but utterly dim Burt. Throw in Chloris Leachman as Virginia's deranged grandmother, and it's a veritable cornucopia of dysfunction. I guess what gets me, though, is how they--particularly Plimpton--remind me of a white-trash version of my own family. This show was created by Greg Garcia, who was also responsible for My Name is Earl. Raising Hope has the same sort of vaguely cartoonish feel about it, while still having a heart. Don't miss this!
I have been reading quite a bit lately, though have not yet started blogging on books again. No word on whether there will be a Cannonball Read 3. I kind of would love to get it going among a small group--more like a book club but we read different books--but I'm not sure how well that idea would go over. After all, most of the people I know (live and virtually) are very busy. If any of you readers are interested or have ideas of your own, please let me know. I guess I feel kind of silly blogging away about books almost by myself. Left to my own devices, I just read them, which is probably not as effective and productive.
Speaking of books, I have discovered that my giant Ikea shelf my parents bought me in
April is now almost completely full (as are all the other shelves in the house.) I am either going to have to do a serious book purge, or I need to find a space to put up the second shelf. (The latter option seems more likely, frankly.)
I have been watching TV lately, some very interesting things going on at the moment. I like all my old favorites (though I find both L&O:LA and L&O:SVU somewhat disappointing) but there are some great new things on that I am really enjoying.
1. Boardwalk Empire, HBO: This show is stellar, and I'm really enjoying it so far. The characters are multi-faceted and well-acted, and the plots are usually very intriguing. Not to mention the set design and costuming are unbelievable. Steve Buscemi is great as Nucky Thompson, a crooked politician who is running Atlantic City at the beginning of Prohibition. Michael Pitt (whom I wasn't really sure of at first) is really settling into his character, dangerous yet vulnerable war-veteran-turning-gangster Jimmy Darmody. At first he seemed unsure of exactly how to play the character, but as time has gone by, I feel like he's gotten a grip on what drives Jimmy's thought processes. Plus the Jimmy character is less lost and has more purpose now. Anyway, it's one of the very few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy, and I recommend it.
2. The Walking Dead, AMC: I just got around to watching the pilot episode for this yesterday, and I was very impressed. I'm kind of surprised to see something like this--humans versus zombies--on mainstream television. I have read the first three books in the comic series on which the show is based, and am thus far pretty impressed how closely the show has stuck to the source material. Anything that was added so far seems to be a benefit. Obviously it's hard to say much about a show having seen only one episode, but I will say the tension was constant, and many of the scares were not so much gore related (though they don't shy away from that) as they were pure "Omigod what is going to happen next Oh why are you going into that dark hallway what are you doing GET OUT OF THERE!" thrills. I was interested to check this out because I have enjoyed Frank Darabont's previous Stephen King adaptations (the only director, IMHO, who has had any luck adapting King works). So far, so good, though I suspect it won't take me long to hate the wife character. It's also kind of great that while there are no "big name" stars in this, there are several "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. If I were you, I'd check it out.
3. Raising Hope, Fox: I don't watch too many sitcoms these days (mostly just The Big Bang Theory and Community) but this one is definitely worth watching. It's the story of Jimmy Chance, a not-very-bright young dude who winds up with a baby after a one night stand with a serial killer. Jimmy decides that he is going to keep the baby, Hope (or as her mother named her, "Princess Beyonce") and raise her himself, trying to avoid the mistakes made by his parents, who were teenagers when he was born. The parents are played to perfection by Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt. I have always loved Martha Plimpton, and her portrayal of cynical cleaning lady Virginia is hilarious. Even better is Garret Dillahunt; I have really liked him in everything he's done before--he's done brilliant work as creepy, evil characters on Deadwood, Life, and Burn Notice--so it's a treat to see him play the good-natured but utterly dim Burt. Throw in Chloris Leachman as Virginia's deranged grandmother, and it's a veritable cornucopia of dysfunction. I guess what gets me, though, is how they--particularly Plimpton--remind me of a white-trash version of my own family. This show was created by Greg Garcia, who was also responsible for My Name is Earl. Raising Hope has the same sort of vaguely cartoonish feel about it, while still having a heart. Don't miss this!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Halloween is Upon Us!
Halloween is upon us again. As usual, despite my yearly vows that I will plan AHEAD! I seem to be three weeks away without even a wisp of an idea. Miss Piggy worked out great last year, but I have a personal belief that wearing the same costume more than once is laziness. The Boyfriend doesn't understand this, but that is because he is the kind of person who doesn't really enjoy dressing up, and therefore has been perfectly happy to be Walter Sobchak for three years running. (Besides, I've already promised the Piggy costume to a friend who is going to rock the shit out of it and I can't let her down.)
Someone suggested to me that I go as a Titanic victim. The costume would be fairly simple--peasant duds, blue make-up, wet hair, seaweed, life ring with HMS Titanic stencilled on to it--but I was surprisingly appalled by the idea. Now, I am not someone who is generally bothered about being horribly tacky (i.e. if I could get my hands on a pink sweater seat and a pillbox hat, I'd happily throw fake blood all over it and go as Jackie Kennedy) but this idea stopped me right in my tracks. I'm not sure exactly why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I've become something of an amateur Titanic scholar. It would be different, I guess, to go as someone who survived. If I could get the upper-class clothes, I'd be all right going as the Unsinkable Molly Brown or as Office Lightoller. But the thought of dressing up as someone who was locked down in third class on a sinking ship is just...well, it feels a little to me like saying "Hey, why don't you paint some burns on, rub ashes all over yourself, and go as a 9/11 victim?" I know the names of many of those who were lost. I've heard their stories, and to pretend to be one of them would just be all kinds of wrong, as far as I'm concerned. They were mostly not famous people, they were regular people caught in a massive tragedy. Even though it was more than 98 years ago, I've read about it so much that to me it's still current news. I don't know. I guess it's a weird issue to have, but there you are.
I may still go as a drowning victim, but something generic like "drowned prom queen" or "generic oceanic zombie". I think I still have a bridesmaid dress somewhere that might prove useful...
Any suggestions from my faithful readers out there?
Someone suggested to me that I go as a Titanic victim. The costume would be fairly simple--peasant duds, blue make-up, wet hair, seaweed, life ring with HMS Titanic stencilled on to it--but I was surprisingly appalled by the idea. Now, I am not someone who is generally bothered about being horribly tacky (i.e. if I could get my hands on a pink sweater seat and a pillbox hat, I'd happily throw fake blood all over it and go as Jackie Kennedy) but this idea stopped me right in my tracks. I'm not sure exactly why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I've become something of an amateur Titanic scholar. It would be different, I guess, to go as someone who survived. If I could get the upper-class clothes, I'd be all right going as the Unsinkable Molly Brown or as Office Lightoller. But the thought of dressing up as someone who was locked down in third class on a sinking ship is just...well, it feels a little to me like saying "Hey, why don't you paint some burns on, rub ashes all over yourself, and go as a 9/11 victim?" I know the names of many of those who were lost. I've heard their stories, and to pretend to be one of them would just be all kinds of wrong, as far as I'm concerned. They were mostly not famous people, they were regular people caught in a massive tragedy. Even though it was more than 98 years ago, I've read about it so much that to me it's still current news. I don't know. I guess it's a weird issue to have, but there you are.
I may still go as a drowning victim, but something generic like "drowned prom queen" or "generic oceanic zombie". I think I still have a bridesmaid dress somewhere that might prove useful...
Any suggestions from my faithful readers out there?
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Reminder
Just a reminder to check out The Boyfriend's blog, The Frugal Bostonian. If you go over there today, you will find the first post from your old pal me, giving away the secret to one of my famous barbecue sauces.
You know you want it!
(I have been told by The Boyfriend that I am not allowed to give away the recipe for my Coke sauce or my Sweet Caroline mustard sauce. Apparently, those are trade secrets. *Shrug*)
Also, I have been reading books lately, but haven't necessarily felt like blogging, partly because I've finished the Cannonball Read and prefer to just READ the books. I've just started Robert Leckie's Strong Men Armed, which is his non-biographical book about the Pacific theater of WW2. So far it's pretty good. I've also read some trashy books and re-read some old favorites. I've also read several new ones that I'm sure I'll get around to blogging on eventually.
Then again, fall television is here, and you know how hard it is for me to accomplish anything when there's a crime show available to be watched!
You know you want it!
(I have been told by The Boyfriend that I am not allowed to give away the recipe for my Coke sauce or my Sweet Caroline mustard sauce. Apparently, those are trade secrets. *Shrug*)
Also, I have been reading books lately, but haven't necessarily felt like blogging, partly because I've finished the Cannonball Read and prefer to just READ the books. I've just started Robert Leckie's Strong Men Armed, which is his non-biographical book about the Pacific theater of WW2. So far it's pretty good. I've also read some trashy books and re-read some old favorites. I've also read several new ones that I'm sure I'll get around to blogging on eventually.
Then again, fall television is here, and you know how hard it is for me to accomplish anything when there's a crime show available to be watched!
Monday, September 6, 2010
A Quick List
In honor of the long weekend, here is a list of ten movies I am utterly unable to resist if I come across them on television. If I'm looking at the guide or flipping through the channels, and I see one of these I have to stop and watch, no matter how far into the film it happens to be. (These are all movies I do not own on DVD.) In no particular order:
1. Mama Mia!
2. The Replacements
3. The Rock
4. The Legend of Billie Jean
5. The Princess Bride
6. Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark
7. Swiss Family Robinson
8. Annie
9. Die Hard
10. Steel Magnolias
Do any of you have movies that you just can't resist when you're flipping around on a drizzly Sunday afternoon?
1. Mama Mia!
2. The Replacements
3. The Rock
4. The Legend of Billie Jean
5. The Princess Bride
6. Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark
7. Swiss Family Robinson
8. Annie
9. Die Hard
10. Steel Magnolias
Do any of you have movies that you just can't resist when you're flipping around on a drizzly Sunday afternoon?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Random Thoughts & Cannonball Read #25
So it's been a while, huh? It's not that I haven't been reading, it's just that I got really tired of blogging about what I'm reading...particularly since so much of it is so very similar. Instead of talking about books, I think I'm going to talk a little about TV and other miscellaneous stuff. 'Cause I love TV.
1. Band of Brothers: I watched the entire mini-series when they replayed it on HBO, and I have to say it's one of the best things I've seen on television since Deadwood. The acting, the scripting, the effects, the cinematography, the pacing--everything about it was completely gripping. Damian Lewis (whom I have liked a lot ever since the prematurely cancelled Life) was perfect, and every other actor in the series was spot-on. There wasn't a single person involved that I could point to and say "Oh, he was overacting" or "He seemed like he wasn't on the same level as everyone else." The whole thing was so well put together. It actually drove me to see out the book Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose (Cannonball Read 2 #25)--which showed me just how great the adaptation was. The testimony from the actual soldiers was clearly the main source of material, which is probably why the show felt so authentic. It was amazing to me that anyone at all managed to survive in those kinds of circumstances, let alone thrive and come back to their regular lives in the States to function as normal parts of society. Flabbergasting, really. I highly recommend that anyone who hasn't seen this show go out and get hold of a copy immediately--it's only 10 episodes, and well worth the 10 hours of your time.
2. The Pacific: On a related note, I've started watching HBO's new WWII show. I'm only one episode in, and frankly thus far I'm a little disappointed. Instead of beginning with training, we're given a short and somewhat cliched exposure to a few of the main characters and then are thrown directly into battle. There's been almost no chance to learn the characters' names or anything about them, which I don't like. However, I also understand that due to the nature of the historical fact--the Marines were basically thrown into battle in short time because they were the only group ready for immediate deployment--this is an accurate portrayal. I'm hoping that as time goes by I'll be able to enjoy the show on its own merits rather than constantly comparing it to Band of Brothers.
3. Boardwalk Empire: This one hasn't started yet, and isn't due until fall, but I'm already really excited. HBO seems to have a knack for period dramas, and when you combine the 20s and gangsters and Steve Buscemi, I feel like it will be very difficult to go wrong. I'm also pleased to see Michael Pitt getting some work, since he's put in great performances everywhere I've seen him, even if the movie itself was crap (i.e. Murder by Numbers).
4. Life: This new Discovery Channel mini-series is what HD was designed for. To be honest, they should have just called it "Look at This Neat Nature Shit We Filmed" since the show isn't really composed all that well and I could certainly live without the Oprah narration. Still, nature's amazing and really, I'm all for watching animals do weird things or be adorable or whatever.
5. Justified: I'm not sure how I feel about this new FX show yet. I am always happy to see Timothy Olyphant, particularly if he's wearing a cowboy hat and shooting people. However, I'm not entirely sure whether I actually buy the premise or the characters. I think the neo-Nazi leader and his hapless sidekicks have potential, and I also like slightly-wacky-husband-shooter chick. I think this show may take a little time to find its groove. Luckily, as long as they continue to give me some Olyphant every week, I'll keep watching.
6. USA Network: I am not sure who is handling programming at USA, but whomever it is deserves a bonus and a hot fudge sundae. For the past few years, they have been putting out some really great new shows--Psych, Burn Notice, and most recently White Collar) and putting them on television during those times during the year when all other new programming is on hiatus (summer and December/January). They've done some great work, and their whole "Characters Welcome" advertising campaign is pretty great. If you don't watch any of these shows, you should check them out. They're fun, not too serious, and completely entertaining.
7. Jeopardy!: It's still on, and I still kick ass at it.
Miscellany A: I got some little bongo drums and have been rocking the hell out of them. Nothing relieves the stress of a long day at the salt mine like pulling out the drums, cranking the iTunes to 11 and banging away along with the Village People's "Go West" or The Band's "Get Up Jake".
Miscellany B: My dear friend Bundt Cake had her baby this past weekend. I'm not sure I like the fact that my college friends are now doing the whole "baby" thing (it seems this whole marriage adulthood thing is not going away any time soon) but I also find that it's really really fun to buy baby clothes. This could become a bad habit...
Miscellany C: I now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 Stephen King books. Luckily, I think I'm finally going to be in a position to get to Ikea and buy a nice new shelf. Then I'll have space to organize all my King books and all my Sookie books instead of having them piled everywhere like some kind of tornado-stricken lending library.
Miscellany D: My mother and I have been working on tracking some of the family genealogy. Turns out we have a relative we can track all the way back to 1700. His grandson was a member of George Washington's personal guard. Also, it turns out I'm part Welsh/Cornish, which I didn't know. We're tracking Pop's service record to try and figure out which ships he served on during WWII. (See above for recent interest in WWII.) Apparently Pop didn't talk about the war at all, though my great uncle told us a story about how the ship Pop was on got sunk, and the Navy sent Pop's seabag they'd fished out of the wreckage home to great-grandma--implying he'd been killed in the sinking--only to discover like 2 weeks later that he'd be evacuated to Australia for a ruptured appendix and hadn't even been on the ship when it sank. I'd be very interested to know which ship that was, since fewer ships than you'd think actually were sunk during the war. Maybe I'm missing a disaster book!
1. Band of Brothers: I watched the entire mini-series when they replayed it on HBO, and I have to say it's one of the best things I've seen on television since Deadwood. The acting, the scripting, the effects, the cinematography, the pacing--everything about it was completely gripping. Damian Lewis (whom I have liked a lot ever since the prematurely cancelled Life) was perfect, and every other actor in the series was spot-on. There wasn't a single person involved that I could point to and say "Oh, he was overacting" or "He seemed like he wasn't on the same level as everyone else." The whole thing was so well put together. It actually drove me to see out the book Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose (Cannonball Read 2 #25)--which showed me just how great the adaptation was. The testimony from the actual soldiers was clearly the main source of material, which is probably why the show felt so authentic. It was amazing to me that anyone at all managed to survive in those kinds of circumstances, let alone thrive and come back to their regular lives in the States to function as normal parts of society. Flabbergasting, really. I highly recommend that anyone who hasn't seen this show go out and get hold of a copy immediately--it's only 10 episodes, and well worth the 10 hours of your time.
2. The Pacific: On a related note, I've started watching HBO's new WWII show. I'm only one episode in, and frankly thus far I'm a little disappointed. Instead of beginning with training, we're given a short and somewhat cliched exposure to a few of the main characters and then are thrown directly into battle. There's been almost no chance to learn the characters' names or anything about them, which I don't like. However, I also understand that due to the nature of the historical fact--the Marines were basically thrown into battle in short time because they were the only group ready for immediate deployment--this is an accurate portrayal. I'm hoping that as time goes by I'll be able to enjoy the show on its own merits rather than constantly comparing it to Band of Brothers.
3. Boardwalk Empire: This one hasn't started yet, and isn't due until fall, but I'm already really excited. HBO seems to have a knack for period dramas, and when you combine the 20s and gangsters and Steve Buscemi, I feel like it will be very difficult to go wrong. I'm also pleased to see Michael Pitt getting some work, since he's put in great performances everywhere I've seen him, even if the movie itself was crap (i.e. Murder by Numbers).
4. Life: This new Discovery Channel mini-series is what HD was designed for. To be honest, they should have just called it "Look at This Neat Nature Shit We Filmed" since the show isn't really composed all that well and I could certainly live without the Oprah narration. Still, nature's amazing and really, I'm all for watching animals do weird things or be adorable or whatever.
5. Justified: I'm not sure how I feel about this new FX show yet. I am always happy to see Timothy Olyphant, particularly if he's wearing a cowboy hat and shooting people. However, I'm not entirely sure whether I actually buy the premise or the characters. I think the neo-Nazi leader and his hapless sidekicks have potential, and I also like slightly-wacky-husband-shooter chick. I think this show may take a little time to find its groove. Luckily, as long as they continue to give me some Olyphant every week, I'll keep watching.
6. USA Network: I am not sure who is handling programming at USA, but whomever it is deserves a bonus and a hot fudge sundae. For the past few years, they have been putting out some really great new shows--Psych, Burn Notice, and most recently White Collar) and putting them on television during those times during the year when all other new programming is on hiatus (summer and December/January). They've done some great work, and their whole "Characters Welcome" advertising campaign is pretty great. If you don't watch any of these shows, you should check them out. They're fun, not too serious, and completely entertaining.
7. Jeopardy!: It's still on, and I still kick ass at it.
Miscellany A: I got some little bongo drums and have been rocking the hell out of them. Nothing relieves the stress of a long day at the salt mine like pulling out the drums, cranking the iTunes to 11 and banging away along with the Village People's "Go West" or The Band's "Get Up Jake".
Miscellany B: My dear friend Bundt Cake had her baby this past weekend. I'm not sure I like the fact that my college friends are now doing the whole "baby" thing (it seems this whole marriage adulthood thing is not going away any time soon) but I also find that it's really really fun to buy baby clothes. This could become a bad habit...
Miscellany C: I now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 Stephen King books. Luckily, I think I'm finally going to be in a position to get to Ikea and buy a nice new shelf. Then I'll have space to organize all my King books and all my Sookie books instead of having them piled everywhere like some kind of tornado-stricken lending library.
Miscellany D: My mother and I have been working on tracking some of the family genealogy. Turns out we have a relative we can track all the way back to 1700. His grandson was a member of George Washington's personal guard. Also, it turns out I'm part Welsh/Cornish, which I didn't know. We're tracking Pop's service record to try and figure out which ships he served on during WWII. (See above for recent interest in WWII.) Apparently Pop didn't talk about the war at all, though my great uncle told us a story about how the ship Pop was on got sunk, and the Navy sent Pop's seabag they'd fished out of the wreckage home to great-grandma--implying he'd been killed in the sinking--only to discover like 2 weeks later that he'd be evacuated to Australia for a ruptured appendix and hadn't even been on the ship when it sank. I'd be very interested to know which ship that was, since fewer ships than you'd think actually were sunk during the war. Maybe I'm missing a disaster book!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Cannonball Read 2 #18 - 20: Sookie Stackhouse books 5 - 7 by Charlaine Harris
(I'm pretty sure this format doesn't really measure up to the true Cannonball rules, but since I didn't qualify to get in, who fucking cares?)
These books are crack. CRACK.
There's werewolves and and shape-shifters and faeries (and Sookie might maybe be partly fairy) and one of the faeries is actually her fairy godmother because she's trying to become and angel and Sookie and Bill break up FOR GOOD THIS TIME and Sookie gets the crap kicked out of her and almost dies like five more times and she dates a were-tiger and meets the Queen and perhaps murders somebody and gets kidnapped and meets up with fellow telepath Barry the Bellboy, and there is intrigue and politics and some witches and a guy who accidentally gets turned into a cat and Jason is a werepanther and he gets married and moves out to weird inbred Hotshot and Arlene joins the fellowship and Sam is still hot in a vague non-threatening way and Sookie's house catches fire and there's an assassin and a pirate and vampire trials and a for-real Ballroom Blitz, and there are trips out of Bon Temps and and hurricane aftermath and a vampire convention and there are MURDERS and EXPLOSIONS and TERRORISM and HOT VIKING VAMPIRE ERIK and IT IS ALL JUST TOO MUCH BUT I LOVE THEM SO!
And I've ordered number 8 but numbers 9 and 10 are on pre-order and they don't come out for a while and I am going to have wait and i'm not sure that i can stand to wait to find out when Sookie and HOT VIKING VAMPIRE ERIK get together because they are so going to get together because how could they NOT....
oh Charlaine Harris, why can't you just write Sookie stories 24-7 instead of writing the, like, 5 other series you also write?
MUST HAVE MORE SOOKIE GODDAMMIT!
*twitch twitch twitch*
*drools*
*faints*
These books are crack. CRACK.
There's werewolves and and shape-shifters and faeries (and Sookie might maybe be partly fairy) and one of the faeries is actually her fairy godmother because she's trying to become and angel and Sookie and Bill break up FOR GOOD THIS TIME and Sookie gets the crap kicked out of her and almost dies like five more times and she dates a were-tiger and meets the Queen and perhaps murders somebody and gets kidnapped and meets up with fellow telepath Barry the Bellboy, and there is intrigue and politics and some witches and a guy who accidentally gets turned into a cat and Jason is a werepanther and he gets married and moves out to weird inbred Hotshot and Arlene joins the fellowship and Sam is still hot in a vague non-threatening way and Sookie's house catches fire and there's an assassin and a pirate and vampire trials and a for-real Ballroom Blitz, and there are trips out of Bon Temps and and hurricane aftermath and a vampire convention and there are MURDERS and EXPLOSIONS and TERRORISM and HOT VIKING VAMPIRE ERIK and IT IS ALL JUST TOO MUCH BUT I LOVE THEM SO!
And I've ordered number 8 but numbers 9 and 10 are on pre-order and they don't come out for a while and I am going to have wait and i'm not sure that i can stand to wait to find out when Sookie and HOT VIKING VAMPIRE ERIK get together because they are so going to get together because how could they NOT....
oh Charlaine Harris, why can't you just write Sookie stories 24-7 instead of writing the, like, 5 other series you also write?
MUST HAVE MORE SOOKIE GODDAMMIT!
*twitch twitch twitch*
*drools*
*faints*
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Halloween Interlude
So I am taking a short break from the Cannonball Read--this year's contest is over, the new round starting November 1st. I managed to get 55 books in since last December, which is pretty impressive. The new Cannonball Read goal is 52 books in a year, which I am quite sure I can manage. I've really enjoyed all the reading I've done this year, and I think the blogging has been beneficial as well. In the "things to look forward to for the next round" column, I am pleased that there will be new participants, including a much-appreciated fan of this blog, Doc Spender. I'm always interested to know what others are reading.
Right now, I am focused on the search for a Halloween costume. The Boyfriend and I have been invited to a party by one of our friends, and I am desperately trying to figure out what to be. It's a lot harder than it used to be, to say the least. Back in the day (when I was thinner and single) all I had to do was stick the adjective "sexy" in front of something and there we go. "Sexy vampire" or "sexy hooker" or even "sexy secretary." Now it's a little more complicated and I am a little pickier.
Optimum Halloween Costume is:
1. Comfortable. No hopping around with my feet bound together, or in a corset where I can't breathe or a skirt so short I can't sit. Also, considering the New England weather, layers would be nice. Last year's zombie soldier idea was great--cargo pants, cammo t-shirt, military sweater, and boots kept me snug and warm for all trips out-of-doors.
2. Interesting. I hate lame cop-out costumes along the Wednesday Addams "Homicidal maniacs look just like everyone else" vein. Also, I'm not a fan of punny costumes. Not to mention that this party is going to be full of creative artsy types, and I have to keep up.
3. Funny, Scary, or Witty. Ideally, I'd love to be some pop culture figure from movies, TV, or books. Something that maybe not everyone will get right off, but that the kind of people I like will either recognize or be delighted by.
4. Not ridiculously expensive or difficult to create. I am neither rich nor particularly craft-inclined. I can throw some things together, I'm all right with improvisation, and I'm decent at doing costume make-up.
The Boyfriend is going as Walter Sobcek from The Big Lebowski (an eerily accurate costume for him, looks-wise) and I think The Roommate is going as Robin Sparkles (HIMYM reference). I have been thinking over this problem for weeks, and have discarded several ideas for various reasons.
1. Bea Arthur: The costume would probably qualify for comfortable, but it's not easy buying a pastel caftan-type outfit these days. Plus, I doubt anyone would get it.
2. Character from True Blood: I love the show, but first of all, there will probably be a TON of True Blood vamps out there this year. Secondly, the female characters on the show are really not that distinctive. Sookie, when you get right down to it, is a blond in a sundress. I am not really built for sundresses, even if they WERE weather-appropriate. (I do look forward to seeing how many guys think they can pull off the Eric Northman. The results will likely either be hot or totally hilariously inaccurate.)
3. Generic 80s girl: This was a good idea until The Roommate decided on Robin Sparkles. We can't BOTH be 80s girls.
4. Maude Lebowski: The major pro for this would be that The Boyfriend and I would be thematically linked. Unfortunately, Maude's two major looks are either the dream-sequence bowling viking warrior (costume is much too complicated for someone with as little crafting talent as I have I think) or the naked-with-bathrobe, which is obviously unacceptable.
5. Super Villainess: Turns out there don't seem to be any super villianesses who don't wear spandex (which I am uniquely unqualified to wear). Someone suggested Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Brothers, but aside from the difficulty of finding a pink knit set and pillbox hat, it's likely everyone will think I'm some kind of weird butch Jackie O.
6. Daria: This would be comparatively easy, the only problem being that I'm pretty sure this has passed cultural relevancy, much like being Angela Chase or TLC.
So anyone who comes up with a good, clever, interesting, fun costume for a girl who is not interested in attracting new boys, not afraid to look a bit silly or scary, likes to be comfy, and is built like a Sherman tank with feet will get a prize.
Things I like: crime shows, Stephen King books, True Blood, Futurama, most pop music from the 80s and 90s, John Hughes movies, Jhonen Vasquez comics, Deadwood, Shakespeare, the Titanic (history of the ship, not that stupid movie), Muppets, Anthony Bourdain, the Civil War, Boston sports teams, the Sex Pistols, and cartoons.
Right now, I am focused on the search for a Halloween costume. The Boyfriend and I have been invited to a party by one of our friends, and I am desperately trying to figure out what to be. It's a lot harder than it used to be, to say the least. Back in the day (when I was thinner and single) all I had to do was stick the adjective "sexy" in front of something and there we go. "Sexy vampire" or "sexy hooker" or even "sexy secretary." Now it's a little more complicated and I am a little pickier.
Optimum Halloween Costume is:
1. Comfortable. No hopping around with my feet bound together, or in a corset where I can't breathe or a skirt so short I can't sit. Also, considering the New England weather, layers would be nice. Last year's zombie soldier idea was great--cargo pants, cammo t-shirt, military sweater, and boots kept me snug and warm for all trips out-of-doors.
2. Interesting. I hate lame cop-out costumes along the Wednesday Addams "Homicidal maniacs look just like everyone else" vein. Also, I'm not a fan of punny costumes. Not to mention that this party is going to be full of creative artsy types, and I have to keep up.
3. Funny, Scary, or Witty. Ideally, I'd love to be some pop culture figure from movies, TV, or books. Something that maybe not everyone will get right off, but that the kind of people I like will either recognize or be delighted by.
4. Not ridiculously expensive or difficult to create. I am neither rich nor particularly craft-inclined. I can throw some things together, I'm all right with improvisation, and I'm decent at doing costume make-up.
The Boyfriend is going as Walter Sobcek from The Big Lebowski (an eerily accurate costume for him, looks-wise) and I think The Roommate is going as Robin Sparkles (HIMYM reference). I have been thinking over this problem for weeks, and have discarded several ideas for various reasons.
1. Bea Arthur: The costume would probably qualify for comfortable, but it's not easy buying a pastel caftan-type outfit these days. Plus, I doubt anyone would get it.
2. Character from True Blood: I love the show, but first of all, there will probably be a TON of True Blood vamps out there this year. Secondly, the female characters on the show are really not that distinctive. Sookie, when you get right down to it, is a blond in a sundress. I am not really built for sundresses, even if they WERE weather-appropriate. (I do look forward to seeing how many guys think they can pull off the Eric Northman. The results will likely either be hot or totally hilariously inaccurate.)
3. Generic 80s girl: This was a good idea until The Roommate decided on Robin Sparkles. We can't BOTH be 80s girls.
4. Maude Lebowski: The major pro for this would be that The Boyfriend and I would be thematically linked. Unfortunately, Maude's two major looks are either the dream-sequence bowling viking warrior (costume is much too complicated for someone with as little crafting talent as I have I think) or the naked-with-bathrobe, which is obviously unacceptable.
5. Super Villainess: Turns out there don't seem to be any super villianesses who don't wear spandex (which I am uniquely unqualified to wear). Someone suggested Dr. Girlfriend from Venture Brothers, but aside from the difficulty of finding a pink knit set and pillbox hat, it's likely everyone will think I'm some kind of weird butch Jackie O.
6. Daria: This would be comparatively easy, the only problem being that I'm pretty sure this has passed cultural relevancy, much like being Angela Chase or TLC.
So anyone who comes up with a good, clever, interesting, fun costume for a girl who is not interested in attracting new boys, not afraid to look a bit silly or scary, likes to be comfy, and is built like a Sherman tank with feet will get a prize.
Things I like: crime shows, Stephen King books, True Blood, Futurama, most pop music from the 80s and 90s, John Hughes movies, Jhonen Vasquez comics, Deadwood, Shakespeare, the Titanic (history of the ship, not that stupid movie), Muppets, Anthony Bourdain, the Civil War, Boston sports teams, the Sex Pistols, and cartoons.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tidbits
It may be a while until I get my next Cannonball Read done, since I have tasked myself with reading Lord of the Rings. I am more than halfway through Fellowship of the Ring right now, which--after starting off fairly slowly--has become a lot more interesting. (I can see why the Tolkien purists got all pissed off about the movie, though. I love the movies, but they're pretty different.) I figure while you wait I'd collect a few thoughts for your amusement.
1. It took me all of five minutes to realize I was going to hate National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which I subjected myself to on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have taken me that long to hate it, but I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. However, once they screwed up the Lincoln assassination, though, nothing they did was going to be right so it didn't matter. Probably didn't help that the plot was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen committed to film. Did they let Jon Voight write that himself or something?
2. I watched the majority of Sydney White and was far more entertained than I feel I should have been.
3. Happened to catch Steel Magnolias on the WE channel. I don't know why I watch that movie--it always makes me bawl--but I can't pass it by if I see that it's on. I think it's just that I love Dolly Parton and Shirley McClaine. I feel as though lunch with those two would be the most hilarious meal of your life.
4. We are all VERY excited that America's Best Dance Crew is back on TV. I have been driving The Boyfriend nuts with my attempts to pop, lock, dip, tut, and New Jack Swing. (In case you hadn't guessed, I am not going to be qualifying for ABDC any time soon.) Starbucks Queen (our roommate) and I watch the episodes at least twice, and pay very close attention to the critiques. Also to what host L'il Mama is wearing, because sometimes her outfits are totally worth the price of admission (i.e. last season when she showed up for one episode in a bejeweled little hat, looking like a villainous stewardess.) The Boyfriend enjoys it because although it's a reality show, it showcases people for having talent, not just for being douchebags. Speaking of having talent-- Project Runway starts this week! Yaaaaaaay! And speaking of being douchebags...the new cycle of America's Next Top Model should be starting soon as well. Wheee!
5. And now for a new feature I like to call "Bork Bork Bork: Cooking with The Caustic Critic". This time, we're going with The Boyfriend's sister's taco salad, which is strangely delicious.
Dorito Chips (I used Nacho)
1 pkg Taco Seasoning
1 pound hamburger
Head of lettuce
Two tomatoes
Shredded Cheese or a block you can cube up! (I a block of sharp cheddar, but you could Monterrey Jack, too.)
Catalina dressing
A. Fry up the hamburger. Mix in the taco seasoning based on the taco seasoning directions. Allow to completely cool.
B. Cut up the lettuce. Quarter the tomatoes and remove all the seeds then dice into small pieces. Add the cheese. Once the hamburger is completely cooled add to the salad. Once you're ready to serve the salad mix in the Catalina dressing to taste. You can add the Dorito chips right into salad or you can serve it the way we do--take a handful of chips out of the bag, crumble slightly, and put on your plate as a bed for the salad. If you don't mix the chips directly into the main salad, you don't have to worry about the leftovers being full of soggy chips.
6. This whole insane heat-wave thing has got to end. I moved to Boston because I thought being several hundred miles north and near the ocean would mean cooler summers. Apparently I was the stupid one. I am now wondering how much a summer home in Svalbard will cost. I really need to make friends with someone who has a pool if this keeps going on...
7. Is anyone else out there watching True Blood? That show is f-ing crazy! There's always something going down, and usually they throw in a hot shirtless guy to sweeten the deal. Okay, yeah, the main character can be a little annoying, but with all that's been going on around her, who's to say I wouldn't be somewhat annoying in the same circumstances?
8. My therapist disappeared. I hadn't seen her since October, admittedly, but when I called the other day I got a "This phone has been disconnected" message. It kind of freaks me out.
9. I really just don't care about Brett Favre, okay? Would everyone please stop shoving him down my throat for five minutes? He should have retired three years ago--he could have gone out totally beloved and been a HERO in Green Bay. Instead he's this whiny, weepy jackass who can't make up his damn mind. Though who cares about my opinion--as far as football players go, if he's not Wes Welker I really don't care. (He's preeeeeeeeetty...)
1. It took me all of five minutes to realize I was going to hate National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which I subjected myself to on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have taken me that long to hate it, but I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. However, once they screwed up the Lincoln assassination, though, nothing they did was going to be right so it didn't matter. Probably didn't help that the plot was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen committed to film. Did they let Jon Voight write that himself or something?
2. I watched the majority of Sydney White and was far more entertained than I feel I should have been.
3. Happened to catch Steel Magnolias on the WE channel. I don't know why I watch that movie--it always makes me bawl--but I can't pass it by if I see that it's on. I think it's just that I love Dolly Parton and Shirley McClaine. I feel as though lunch with those two would be the most hilarious meal of your life.
4. We are all VERY excited that America's Best Dance Crew is back on TV. I have been driving The Boyfriend nuts with my attempts to pop, lock, dip, tut, and New Jack Swing. (In case you hadn't guessed, I am not going to be qualifying for ABDC any time soon.) Starbucks Queen (our roommate) and I watch the episodes at least twice, and pay very close attention to the critiques. Also to what host L'il Mama is wearing, because sometimes her outfits are totally worth the price of admission (i.e. last season when she showed up for one episode in a bejeweled little hat, looking like a villainous stewardess.) The Boyfriend enjoys it because although it's a reality show, it showcases people for having talent, not just for being douchebags. Speaking of having talent-- Project Runway starts this week! Yaaaaaaay! And speaking of being douchebags...the new cycle of America's Next Top Model should be starting soon as well. Wheee!
5. And now for a new feature I like to call "Bork Bork Bork: Cooking with The Caustic Critic". This time, we're going with The Boyfriend's sister's taco salad, which is strangely delicious.
Dorito Chips (I used Nacho)
1 pkg Taco Seasoning
1 pound hamburger
Head of lettuce
Two tomatoes
Shredded Cheese or a block you can cube up! (I a block of sharp cheddar, but you could Monterrey Jack, too.)
Catalina dressing
A. Fry up the hamburger. Mix in the taco seasoning based on the taco seasoning directions. Allow to completely cool.
B. Cut up the lettuce. Quarter the tomatoes and remove all the seeds then dice into small pieces. Add the cheese. Once the hamburger is completely cooled add to the salad. Once you're ready to serve the salad mix in the Catalina dressing to taste. You can add the Dorito chips right into salad or you can serve it the way we do--take a handful of chips out of the bag, crumble slightly, and put on your plate as a bed for the salad. If you don't mix the chips directly into the main salad, you don't have to worry about the leftovers being full of soggy chips.
6. This whole insane heat-wave thing has got to end. I moved to Boston because I thought being several hundred miles north and near the ocean would mean cooler summers. Apparently I was the stupid one. I am now wondering how much a summer home in Svalbard will cost. I really need to make friends with someone who has a pool if this keeps going on...
7. Is anyone else out there watching True Blood? That show is f-ing crazy! There's always something going down, and usually they throw in a hot shirtless guy to sweeten the deal. Okay, yeah, the main character can be a little annoying, but with all that's been going on around her, who's to say I wouldn't be somewhat annoying in the same circumstances?
8. My therapist disappeared. I hadn't seen her since October, admittedly, but when I called the other day I got a "This phone has been disconnected" message. It kind of freaks me out.
9. I really just don't care about Brett Favre, okay? Would everyone please stop shoving him down my throat for five minutes? He should have retired three years ago--he could have gone out totally beloved and been a HERO in Green Bay. Instead he's this whiny, weepy jackass who can't make up his damn mind. Though who cares about my opinion--as far as football players go, if he's not Wes Welker I really don't care. (He's preeeeeeeeetty...)
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Lord of the Rings: The Quick Version
"And we walked through a field. And then through a forest. And then to the mountains. Then through the mountains. How spooky are these mountains? Pretty spooky." -- The Bearded Prophet
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