Tuesday, August 18, 2009


It may be a while until I get my next Cannonball Read done, since I have tasked myself with reading Lord of the Rings. I am more than halfway through Fellowship of the Ring right now, which--after starting off fairly slowly--has become a lot more interesting. (I can see why the Tolkien purists got all pissed off about the movie, though. I love the movies, but they're pretty different.) I figure while you wait I'd collect a few thoughts for your amusement.

1. It took me all of five minutes to realize I was going to hate National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which I subjected myself to on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have taken me that long to hate it, but I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. However, once they screwed up the Lincoln assassination, though, nothing they did was going to be right so it didn't matter. Probably didn't help that the plot was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen committed to film. Did they let Jon Voight write that himself or something?

2. I watched the majority of Sydney White and was far more entertained than I feel I should have been.

3. Happened to catch Steel Magnolias on the WE channel. I don't know why I watch that movie--it always makes me bawl--but I can't pass it by if I see that it's on. I think it's just that I love Dolly Parton and Shirley McClaine. I feel as though lunch with those two would be the most hilarious meal of your life.

4. We are all VERY excited that America's Best Dance Crew is back on TV. I have been driving The Boyfriend nuts with my attempts to pop, lock, dip, tut, and New Jack Swing. (In case you hadn't guessed, I am not going to be qualifying for ABDC any time soon.) Starbucks Queen (our roommate) and I watch the episodes at least twice, and pay very close attention to the critiques. Also to what host L'il Mama is wearing, because sometimes her outfits are totally worth the price of admission (i.e. last season when she showed up for one episode in a bejeweled little hat, looking like a villainous stewardess.) The Boyfriend enjoys it because although it's a reality show, it showcases people for having talent, not just for being douchebags. Speaking of having talent-- Project Runway starts this week! Yaaaaaaay! And speaking of being douchebags...the new cycle of America's Next Top Model should be starting soon as well. Wheee!

5. And now for a new feature I like to call "Bork Bork Bork: Cooking with The Caustic Critic". This time, we're going with The Boyfriend's sister's taco salad, which is strangely delicious.

Dorito Chips (I used Nacho)
1 pkg Taco Seasoning
1 pound hamburger
Head of lettuce
Two tomatoes
Shredded Cheese or a block you can cube up! (I a block of sharp cheddar, but you could Monterrey Jack, too.)
Catalina dressing

A. Fry up the hamburger. Mix in the taco seasoning based on the taco seasoning directions. Allow to completely cool.

B. Cut up the lettuce. Quarter the tomatoes and remove all the seeds then dice into small pieces. Add the cheese. Once the hamburger is completely cooled add to the salad. Once you're ready to serve the salad mix in the Catalina dressing to taste. You can add the Dorito chips right into salad or you can serve it the way we do--take a handful of chips out of the bag, crumble slightly, and put on your plate as a bed for the salad. If you don't mix the chips directly into the main salad, you don't have to worry about the leftovers being full of soggy chips.

6. This whole insane heat-wave thing has got to end. I moved to Boston because I thought being several hundred miles north and near the ocean would mean cooler summers. Apparently I was the stupid one. I am now wondering how much a summer home in Svalbard will cost. I really need to make friends with someone who has a pool if this keeps going on...

7. Is anyone else out there watching True Blood? That show is f-ing crazy! There's always something going down, and usually they throw in a hot shirtless guy to sweeten the deal. Okay, yeah, the main character can be a little annoying, but with all that's been going on around her, who's to say I wouldn't be somewhat annoying in the same circumstances?

8. My therapist disappeared. I hadn't seen her since October, admittedly, but when I called the other day I got a "This phone has been disconnected" message. It kind of freaks me out.

9. I really just don't care about Brett Favre, okay? Would everyone please stop shoving him down my throat for five minutes? He should have retired three years ago--he could have gone out totally beloved and been a HERO in Green Bay. Instead he's this whiny, weepy jackass who can't make up his damn mind. Though who cares about my opinion--as far as football players go, if he's not Wes Welker I really don't care. (He's preeeeeeeeetty...)

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