Dear God, Why?: Before The Devil Knows You're Dead

Tuesday was The Boyfriend's birthday, and he wanted to go to the movies. He'd been wanting to see Before the Devil Knows You're Dead since it came out, and as it was playing at the Somerville, he chose that for his birthday movie. Having read up on it, I KNEW that I wasn't going to like it, but it WAS his birthday...turned out that he hated it too. As did the other three people who came to the movies with us. I discovered the only thing worse than a relentlessly depressing movie in which none of the characters are likeable and all the decisions are bad is a relentlessly depressing movie that continually LOOPS BACK on itself, so you actually end up watching the SAME depressing scenes over and over again. Maybe I liked it less than I could have because I hate non-linear story-telling. Or, as I said, it could be because I felt about it the same way I did about Chicago, in that I found all the characters to be shitty people whom I didn't care about. OR it could be that it opened (and when I say "opened" I mean literally the very first scene in the film) with a graphic scene featuring a naked Phillip Seymour Hoffman banging Marissa Tomei doggy style. (Admittedly, everyone DID enjoy Marissa Tomei, who spent most of the movie wandering around topless and looking pouty.) Naked PSH is not something I ever felt a desire to see, and everything just spiraled downhill from there. Definitely not a good date movie, or a film to see with your parents. Not to mention that it's very long, and the first hour or so draaaaaaaaaaags on forever. Maybe I'm just not artsy enough, but the whole thing just sucked hardcore in my opinion. Everyone in the theater seemed to feel the same way--when it was over (the ending is rather abrupt) someone said aloud in the silence "Jesus Christ! Thank God THAT'S over!" and there was laughter and applause from the, like, 12 other people in there. Do yourself a favor--instead of seeing this movie, just take a meat fork and jam it into the side of your head.I told The Boyfriend that this definitely makes him even for the movie I picked out a while ago which turned out to have all the ass-raping in it.

'Tis the Season: Christmas Music Essentials

So I uploaded my Christmas music to my iPod. Yay, it is the Christmas season!

1. "Carol of the Bells" performed by the American Boychoir. I didn't pick this version for any special reason (although it's quite good) I think it was just the first version of the song that happened to come up when I plugged it into iTunes.

2. "Mr. Heat Miser" performed by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. This is not exactly a Christmas classic, but it is a lot of fun.

3. "I Won't Be Home for Christmas" by Blink-182. I like a little punk rock in my stocking, you know. Besides, I WON'T be home for Christmas, so it's apt.

4. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" performed by Bruce Springsteen. This is a live performance, and Bruce and the E Street band rock the roof off.

5. "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee. As far as this goes the original (or, at least I think it's the original) is best.

6. "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" performed by In Memory. This is another raucous cover of a Christmas classic.

7. "Christmas Baby, Please Come Home" performed by Jon Bon Jovi. This is another one you just can't escape on holiday radio. It's not a favorite, but it doesn't feel right not to include it.

8. "Last Christmas" performed by Wham! Oh, come on now. How can you have a holiday playlist and NOT have a little Wham!?

9. "Run Rudolph Run" by Chuck Berry. This is old time rock and roll, and Chuck just does not let up on poor Rudolph.

10. "Silver Bells" performed by Bing Crosby. I would honestly prefer to have the Crosby/Bowie version of "The Little Drummer Boy" but unfortunately it doesn't seem to have been released to iTunes. Stupid Bowie.

11. "Merry F#%$in Christmas" by Denis Leary. This makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear it.

12. "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley. This one always makes me think of Nerd Queen's mom, who hates it. And when Nerd Queen and I would howl along to the background vocals. "Ooowooohooowoohoo..."

13. "The Christmas Waltz" performed by Harry Connick Jr. I'm not generally big on HC2, but he's certainly got his niche. (I also enjoy his cover of "The Bare Necessities" for the little known Simply Mad About the Mouse video.) He does this in sort of a cocktail lounge style, but doesn't slow it down to a point where it's unrecognisable, which happens all too often with this style.

14. "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano. No, you can't escape it. Resistance is futile.

15. "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. Ordinarily, I cannot STAND Mariah Carey...however, this song is a notable exception. It's simply a glorious and sugary way for Ms. Carey to show off her stunning pipes. Say what you will about her, but the woman really could sing.

16. "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Madge Ure and a bunch of British popstars. I really don't want to like this song. It's kind of patronizing and insulting, despite being for a good cause. No, they don't know it's Christmastime in Africa because I don't think most Africans CELEBRATE Christmas. However, it's still damn catchy and I find myself listening for it around the holidays. Stupid Bob Geldof.

17. "The Christmas Song" performed by Nat King Cole. There's not much to say about this. It's just GOOD.

18. "Snoopy's Christmas" performed by Rich Little. I'm very annoyed because I was forced to accept this substandard version of this song, due to the fact that the original (by The Kingsmen, I believe) is not available on iTunes. This is particularly galling because this is one of my very very favorite Christmas songs. Stupid iTunes.

19. "Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys. Nothing says Christmas like the Beach Boys. Okay, so that's not really true, but this is still a fun song in classic Beach Boys style.

20. "The Chipmunk Song" perfomed by Alvin & the Chipmunks. Anyone of my generation who doesn't like this song is a communist. Or maybe a terrorist. It's just that simple.

21. "Welcome Christmas" performed by the MGM Studio Orchestra (original movie version). "Da-who-dor-ay da-who-dor-ay Welcome Christmas one and all..." Oh, those Whos down in Whoville...

22. "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon. This was only recently released on iTunes, and I'm so glad because the covers that were available last Christmas were simply appalling in their horribleness. And as much as I dislike Yoko, this is such a good song, especially now.

23. "Santa Baby" performed by Eartha Kitt. You can take your Madonna and your Marilyn Monroe (ETA: A watchful reader has informed me that Monroe did not record this song, and the version I'm thinking of was done by actress Cynthia Basinet.)--THIS is the defining version of this song. All others are pale imitations.

24. "The Christians and the Pagans" by Dar Williams. This isn't a traditional Christmas song, but it's a sweet little tune about people of different faiths coming together at this time of year to remember what's important.


If there's anything you think I MUST HAVE, let me know. Although it has to be available on iTunes for me to get it.

A Passionate (if Incoherant) Ramble

So I was reading a review of the new Stephen King movie The Mist, right, and as usual there was all this bullshit about how it's cliched and crappy and not scary enough/too gory/not gory enough/blah blah blah. And I suddenly realized that there are very very few really GOOD King movie adaptations. Really, there's just The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Stand By Me, maybe The Shining, and if you want to stretch, Carrie. I've also heard good things about Misery, though I have never seen it. Most of the rest are just terrible, and I have always had a hard time figuring out why. I mean, I've read some books and articles about translating King's work from the page to the screen, and no one has adequately explained to me why there are so many bad bad bad interpretations. Then, when I was sitting there reading this review, I finally figured it out--the people who make movies do not actually understand Stephen King's books. (Well, either they don't understand them or are too lazy to understand them properly.) The thing I find about King's work is that it is NOT actually about monsters. I know that's hard to believe, when you take into consideration the works he's more well-known for, but even those are not actually about monsters. For example:

1. 'Salem's Lot is not about vampires. It is a story about the kind of corruption and evil that can occur unnoticed in small towns. About the people who live in those towns, and the way apathy can take over a place that the young won't stay in and the old won't leave. The vampires are not REALLY vampires, they're a metaphor. Okay, yes, you could argue that the book is "about" vampires, but I think that's only the surface.

2. Christine is not about a demonic car. Once again, the car is a metaphor--this time, it embodies the change that happens in teenage friendships. The way that even best friends can be driven apart by changes in interests, changes in social standing, and general changes in attitude. Dennis may be fighting against the car, but what he's REALLY fighting are the changes that have taken place in the relationship with his best friend. Those changes just happen to be personified by a car that kills people.

3. The Stand doesn't contain monsters like the previous books do, but it does feature a devil character. The Stand is really about human nature--what would happen to people if government, authority, society...everything that keeps us tied together were suddenly gone? Would it bring out the best or the worst in everyone? The plague that kills most of the population is not the focus of the story, it's merely a catalyst.

5. IT may be famous for the evil clown that lives in the sewers, but the more important themes are about friendship, child abuse, and once again that small-town apathy (seemingly one of King's favorite themes).

6. Carrie has more to do with teenage isolation and rebellion than it does with telekinesis in the end.

I could go on and on. My point is that--aside from Frank Darabont--most directors/screenwriters don't really understand this when they try to make a King movie. Or maybe they do understand it and just find those aspects too difficult to work into the script, when they could easily focus more on the giant rabid dog or slavering monster. Thus you end up with complaints about the script being dull, or cliched, or heartless. It's much easier to make a scary movie about an evil hotel then to work in the connections to child abuse and alcoholism. And I feel like if you peel away those metaphorical layers of meaning, you end up with nothing more than a brainless Godzilla movie. I guess the real issue is that Stephen King is my favorite author, and it pisses me off when people blame on him the fact that most movies made of his work suck. The fault lies with the directors and the writers, not with the original author.

The World According to Sesame Street

I recently decided to make use of my Netflix account for something other then renting terrible horror movies, and have added a bunch of documentaries to my Q (I can't spell that word, and I'm not even going to try.) The first of them arrived this weekend, The World According to Sesame Street, which is about efforts to bring Sesame Street to children all over the world, particularly in places where education may be lacking or places embroiled in societal strife. The doc itself was not really put together all that well--it was a bit choppy and kind of badly organized. However, it was fascinating to me to see how the "Sesame Process" works. There were three places featured: South Africa, Bangladesh, and Kosovo, each with its own particular struggles and needs. The South African segment detailed how they had used Sesame Street to promote HIV/AIDS awareness, the US backlash about introducing an HIV+ muppet on the South African show (Hello, Bill O'Reilly, you intolerant douchebag), and the benefits the show has produced. The Kosovo segmant show the attempts to develop a show there that would benefit both the Serbian and Albanian populations and perhaps try to promote tolerance between the groups. The Bengladeshi part showed process from development to construction to production. I'd highly recommend watching it (even if the production itself isn't stellar) just because it's so interesting to see the whole thing come together.

I consider Jim Henson to be a totally underrated revolutionary in American history. His ideas about using TV to educate children who might not otherwise have the opportunities for a preschool education were the first of their kind, and led to everything from Reading Rainbow to Dora the Explorer. The man was a genius. Not to mention that it was probably the first fully-integrated chilren's show, the first to take place in an urban setting, and the first to incorporate not only letters and numbers, but also issues like tolerance and coping with adversity. And the fact that his ideas have now spread to more than 120 countries around the world is mind-blowing.

Who knew that puppets could be so influential?

Triple Feature!

I watched Breakfast On Pluto with Cillian Murphy. Not a terrible film, but I didn't like it as much as I'd hoped. Although Murphy does make a convincing woman (so convincing, in fact, that I'm officially revoking his name from my hottie list because now whenever I see him I'm going to think of this role) I found the character of Kitten Braden so entirely stupid and naive that I couldn't sympathize with her. I know it's supposed to sort of be a fantastical fairy-tale sort of thing, but even fairy-tale characters have more sense than that. Mostly I wanted to slap her...although some of those outfits were stunning. A+ to the costumer if not the writer.

Then I moved on to Support Your Local Sheriff, one of my favorites, starring James Garner and Joan Hackett. Although the plot and actors in the (non-)sequel, Support Your Local Gunfighter are nearly identical with the exception of the leading lady, I find Sheriff a much better film. Garner's at his best here, Hackett is hilarious as the accident-prone Prudy (much much funnier than Susanne Pleshette would prove in Gunfighter) , and there's a very funny performance by a very young Bruce Dern as stupid outlaw Joe Danby. It's kind of old, and it's goofy and a little campy, but I highly recommend it as a cheerful way to spend a dreary afternoon.

My final film of the day was Shackles, which is about a teacher trying to teach and inspire juvenile prisoners at Shackleton penitentiary. It's not a big name cast--the biggest name is D. L. Hughley, who plays the teacher--but there are some really great performances from the kids who play the prisoners. There's also some really cool slam performances (Hughley tries to inspire the kids to write by engaging them in slam poetry) which those of you who are into that sort of thing might dig. It's probably not a film you've heard of or are likely to know about, but I thought it was really good...didn't end the way I'd hoped, but perhaps the only way it could.

Nerd Alert...

I actually heard myself utter the phrase "I'm not the borg, for chrissakes! Just because he knows something doesn't mean we all know it!" today.

You know, I was always cool with being a nerd because at least I wasn't, you know, a Star Trek nerd. Unfortunately, turns out I AM a Star Trek nerd (Next Generation or Voyager only, please.) I blame The Boyfriend. We've been watching a lot of Voyager, and it's really pretty good. Jeri Ryan in her super-spandex body-suit certainly doesn't make it hard to watch, either. However, I still can't believe that I willingly watch Star Trek. Oh well, resistance IS futile, I guess.

A Letter to Bobby Flay

Dear Bobby Flay,

I hope that one night soon Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain pull you into a dark alley and kick the ever-loving shit out of you.
CC

P.S. Putting three different variations of chipotle sauce on a dish does not make it interesting. It just makes you a pretentious douchebag.

iPod/uPod: "Come as You Are" by Nirvana (from Live in New York)

This is the song that finally got me into Nirvana. Up until this point, I didn't really get it. I mean, I'd heard of the band, and understood that they were popular, but I didn't understand why. Then I went to nerd camp for the first time, and this kid in my class sung this song constantly. I thought it was kind of interesting and asked him about it, and he informed me that when I got home, I needed to go out and buy In Utero immediately, because it would change my life. I did as he suggested, and though it didn't change my life, it certainly did change my perspective some. Frankly, it wasn't until the Beautiful Loser burned me a copy of Nirvana: Live in New York that I REALLY GOT IT. Listening to Kurt wail "Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be..." hit a part of me--the teenage angst part?--I didn't even know I had. This song led me to listen to the entire album, which was of course mind-blowing. The lyrics aren't entirely logical or sensical, but they're deeply emotional, particularly with Kurt's delivery. Same thing with the melody. I just remember thinking that I'd never heard anything like it before, and was unlikely to hear anything quite like it again.

Today's iPod/uPod winner is: "Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants

This song holds a special place in my heart, as it was a mandatory part of every nerd camp dance. When this song would come on, everyone would join hands and then run, in a long chain, all around the cafeteria where the dance was being held. It's one of those songs that whenever I hear it immediately takes me back to a particular time and place where I had some of the best times of my life. Musically, it's got some nice harmonies but isn't really anything special. The lyrics, as in most TMBG songs, are very clever. The image of keeping the "nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul" is an appealing one. Even the idea that there's a birdhouse in your soul is charming. My favorite lines are, of course, as follows, "There's a picture opposite me / of my primitive ancestry / who stood on rocky shores / and kept the beaches shipwreck free. / Though I respect that a lot / I'd be fired if that were my job / after killing Jason off / and countless screaming argonauts!" I suppose my reason for loving this song is more based on sentimentality than on true merit, but that's okay. This IS my opinion, after all.

Just pay the man already: Rent

I tried to watch Rent the other day. I know I'm supposed to like it because it's about the freedom and struggle of the artistic life and blah blah blah, but I have to admit that...I hated it. I mean hated it so much I couldn't even finish watching it. I found myself sympathizing with the villain, who just wanted to clean up the neighborhood and build a nice studio. While all the main characters were whining about paying the rent, I was sitting there thinking "Well, if you can't afford to pay rent on your really shitty apartment, maybe you should stop strumming your guitar and go get a job at Kinko's or something!" I thought most of the characters (except for Angel and Tom Collins) were more annoying than charmingly bohemian. Seriously, Maureen and her "performance art"? Give me a break! And although I liked the music, a lot of the songs went on waaaaaaaaay too long. I mean, how many choruses of "No Day but Today" did we really need? I was really surprised, because I know a lot of people who swear by this show, but I was totally unimpressed. Maybe it would be better on the stage? Or maybe I'm getting old and my Republican side is showing.


Bonus: I also watched Howl's Moving Castle which was pretty good for a kids' movie. I think I may have read the book when I was a child, because it seemed very familiar. The voice acting was pretty good (I didn't even think TOO much about Christian Bale being the voice behind Howl...though his voice IS awfully sexy) although the actress who played the lead as a young girl could have been better. The animation and backgrounds were extremely well-done, as I've come to expect from Japanese anime-type movies. All in all, it was certainly a movie I'd recommend for children (not very young children, but maybe in the 8 - 11 range?), and it's not unpleasant to watch as an adult, either.

I have Mysterious Skin from Netflix right now. I just have to find a time when The Boyfriend isn't home to watch it, since crazy male street hustlers are not really his bag.

OnDemand is not to be trusted: Mean Guns and R.S.V.P

So I watched two movies today. One was pretty good, and the other sucked ass.

We'll start with the one that sucked ass. It was called Mean Guns, and I'm not sure why I decided to watch it in the first place. I suppose because I saw that Ice-T was in it, and I like Ice-T. However, it turns out that Ice-T has made some poor movie choices and this was certainly one of them. Basically, the premise is that a mob boss has called together in an empty prison 100 criminals who have betrayed him. He hands out guns and bats, and says the last 3 survivors get $10 million. Therefore, the entire movie is mostly people shooting and beating each other to death. It's not a bad premise, but it was really REALLY badly written AND acted. I have seen two films with Christopher Lambert in them, and both made me wonder how he manages to stay employed as an actor. I've seen high school kids act better than that guy. Hell, there was an 8 year old in the movie who acted rings around him. Even Ice-T was bad, and as I said, I generally find him enjoyable. All in all, it was extremely terrible, and that is an hour and a half of my life I will never get back. I'm kind of bitter about it, actually.

The second movie, called R.S.V.P. was much better. It's not GREAT, but after Mean Guns it SEEMED Oscar-worthy. The premise of that one is that this guy invites all his friends over to a party they'll never forget. I don't think it would be as good if you haven't seen Hitchcock's Rope, which it references heavily (though since it actually mentions that film and stuff, it's not the rip-off I thought it would be.) The guy who played the lead (a no-name whom I've never heard of) was pretty good. It's Glenn Quinn's last film before he OD'd (he's best known for playing the Irish guy on Angel) and he also turned in a great performance. However, I was most excited to see Jason FUCKING Mewes! Yes, Jay has had other acting jobs! Admittedly, he pretty much plays Jay (a hardcore stoner dude) but I was still happy to see him employed. I can't really say much more, because I don't want to give away the plot, and to say much beyond what I already have would give it all away. I think a double-feature of Rope first and then R.S.V.P. would be an interesting evening. It's not exactly brain-food, but it's fun.

The Bridge

The other day, I watched what has to be one of the most depressing documentaries of all time: The Bridge. Basically, this guy set up a bunch of cameras around the Golden Gate bridge, on which he caught footage of around 20 suicides. Most of the film is interviews with the family/friends of people who jumped from the bridge, people who witnessed the jumps, experts on both the bridge and mental health, a photographer who managed to wrestle a girl back over the railing and away from the edge, and one guy who jumped from the bridge and lived. I was pretty shocked, because I didn't think they'd show the actual footage of people jumping off the bridge, but they did. It's very bizarre, you see these people up there, walking around, talking on the phone, looking out at the water, and then suddenly they're plummetting down head first. A very surreal thing to watch. I don't think it's a documentary I'd recommend to anyone. In fact, I kind of wish I hadn't watched it.

Struggles of the Artist: Festival Express & More Thoughts on Art School Confidential

Yesterday, I mentioned my feelings about Art School Confidential. In the comments section, the Lovely Artisan responded with this: "I really, really disliked Art School Confidential. I thought it was really muted in comparison with what I find hysterical and terrifyingly ironic about going to art school." I think she has pin-pointed one of the problems I had with the movie but could not exactly put my finger on--with all the actual drama that occurs naturally when you transplant a bunch of creative people into one place and force them to live and work together, who needs some lame-o, badly-written murder plot? I know that when I arrived at [Wild Liberal Art/Entertainment Industry College], I sure experienced a very severe culture shock. Having grown up in a small town, just being in Boston was nerve-wracking. I had to deal with suite-mates who were both nice and completely insane. And most of all, I had to deal with classes. The one thing I discovered that was more difficult to take than anything else was not the students who got praised for work I found to be appalling. The hardest thing was running up against people I considered to ACTUALLY be much more talented than me. It's going to come out sounding conceited, but in high school, I was kind of a big deal. Big fish in a small pond, of course, but I really can't think of anyone there who wrote better than I did (Nerd Queen was on my level, but we had very different concentrations) and I had the awards and accolades to prove it. I built my identity around being "The Writer Girl." Then I arrived at college to find classrooms FULL of people who had defined themselves that way--and some of them were a lot more talented. It's a shock to the system to have that doubt, that feeling that maybe you are not really as good as you thought. I guess that ties in to my problem with the main character of Art School Confidential--he takes way too much in stride. He is thrown off a little (in a mousey kind of way) but for the most part he takes the wacky behavior of those around him in stride. Frankly, I would say my own college experiences resembled more closely Dead Man on Campus (no, not with the whole "plotting to fake the roommate's suicide" thing and more with the trying to balance a social life and a heavy academic load, dealing with sharing living space with people who are not like you in any way, experiencing new thoughts, ideas, and substances while still staying grounded and focused) than this movie. Also, Lovely Artisan, I'm glad we agree that Jeff Goldbloom is the shizz.

2. Last night, I watched Festival Express which was pretty good. It's a documentary about how in 1970, this promoter gathered up a bunch of the biggest rock bands of the time, put them all on a train, and travelled across Canada for a week doing shows. When I say big, I mean Janis Joplin, The Band, the Greatful Dead, the Flying Burrito Brothers, Buddy Guy, etc. There is some great concert footage, but the best parts are definitely the times when they're filming the bands all just chilling on the train. There's random jams going on in almost every car--Janis, Jerry Garcia, and Rick Denko rocking out together on some old traditional song, or Buddy Guy singing while accompanied by Phil Lesh and Richard Manuel--unbelieveable combinations of musicians. Not to mention that all of them look like they are having a rocking good time. It's a fascinating film if you're into that kind of music, and as a documentary it's very well done--there is a lot of actual footage from the train and the concerts (including many full songs), plus interviews with some of the artists, promoters, and members of the audience. I definitely recommend it to any fan of 70s rock.

"Don't have unrealistic expectations.": Art School Confidential

I watched Art School Confidential the other day and have mixed feelings about it. In some ways I thought it was hilarious, but it kind of failed overall. I'm not even sure everyone would find amusing the stuff I did, because my laughs had a lot to do with having gone to an "arty" school. There is a part in the beginning when one of the characters goes through and points out the stereotypes in the class, and I immediately was like "Yes! I remember those people! The blow-hard! Yes! That idiot who doesn't ever get it! The person whose work everyone else is cooing over and I'm sitting there like 'I don't understand why anyone would think this is good.' I remember all of this! The professor who doesn't really give a shit about teaching but needs to pay bills until his 'great work' gets picked up!" Atmospherically, it was very, very close to perfect--in my opinion. Ethan Suplee's filmmaker character in particular was dead-on. However, the problem I had with the film was...well, everything else. I found the main character dull, particularly when compared to all the side characters (disclosure: this is something I have been accused of in my own work--making the straight man so straight he fades into the background. See also: Pirates of the Caribbean.) The love interest also had all the charisma of a rotting corpse. The plot was ludicrous, and continued to get stupider as the movie went on. By the time the end of the picture rolled around, I was sitting on my couch yelling "Oh, for Chrissakes! Stupid, STUPID, STUPID!!!" and throwing Frosted Cheerios at the TV. In conclusion, if you're an art school person, you might want to check this out for nostalgia's sake. If you aren't, don't bother.

Today's iPod/uPod winner is: "Age Six Racer" by Dashboard Confessional

I think part of the reason I like this is because it's a bit more cheerful than most DC songs. It's about loss, but it's more a wistful longing for childhood times past. Not so much the "You left me, so I'm going to roll in broken glass until you come home, you whore" that they often seem fixated on. It's also got some really stunning harmonies, which are complimented (in my opinion) by the fact that the song is instrumentally so simple. The other reason I like this is because it takes me back to dorm life. Every time I hear it, I can imagine myself at my desk in 309D, facing the window, listening to this song and playing Snood. It's kind of funny how a certain song can slingshot you into a particular moment in the past. The only other sense that seems hooked up that way is smell (the only problem with scent-related memories is that sometimes I'll smell something and it's tied very strongly with a particular emotion, but I can't figure out WHY. Song-related memories can often be put into context by their artist or their era of popularity. Smells, it'll be like "Okay, the smell of this specific stairway causes me to feel really happy and hopeful, like something awesome is going on and I am part of it. Unfortunately, I have no idea why." [In that instance, it took me weeks to realize that for some reason the smell of that stairway--the combination of paint and rubber stair tops--reminded me of the first time I went to nerd camp and my class was held in a classroom in the college's gym.]) Also, the lyrics are so...sweet, but not exactly in a cheesy way. "It's cold where you're going, I hope that your heart's always warm" indeed.

The Angriest Traveller: "A Cook's Tour" by Anthony Bourdain

I LOVE Anthony Bourdain. I think he's hilarious and interesting, and having seen his show on the Travel Channel, I found him to be smart as well. Therefore, I decided to pick up this book--it seemed an apt choice to read during my first trip outside the "Western world."

I found A Cook's Tour to be entertaining but uneven. In some places Bourdain is wickedly sarcastic and funny, in others he drifts into sanctimonious preachiness. In some ways, I would have preferred he save us the treacle and simply stick to his own personal observations, but at the same time I think at least the treacle is genuine--he really IS touched by the places and people he's visiting. He has a way with words, but sometimes it seems they get away from him. All in all, a fun and enjoyable read.

A Letter to Sienna Miller

Dear Sienna Miller,

You are untalented and badly dressed.
I am sick of looking at your smug, pointy face.
Please go away.

CC

P.S. Those of us who are FROM Pennsylvania can (and do) use the term "Shitsburgh." We're not big on other people using it, though. I'd be really careful using terms like that in a place where roughly 85% of the population could kick your ass.

P.P.S. Banging Jude Law doesn't make you special. It just means you have a vagina.