Observations on "Monday Nite Raw"

1.. My team, "The Good-Looking Buff Young Guys" just beat the crap out of the other team, the "Older Ugly Bearded Guys." I'm stoked.

2. The Edge looks like Sabretooth from X-Men, sans fangs.

3. Chris Jericho did come back out, unfortunately not wearing mandex. However, Randy Orton came out too, and he WAS wearing skimpy mandex. SCORE!

4. I don't know how anyone could think wrestling is real. Most of the blows CLEARLY do not connect. Not to mention that if a person actually DID have his head repeatedly slammed into a steel step, he'd probably be dead, not just bleeding lightly from a scalp wound.

5. Happily, this episode did not include Nature Boy Ric Flair showing off his saggy, over fake-n-baked old man tits.

6. You know that weird humpy muscle over muscular guys get between the shoulder and the neck? That is so not cool.

7. Why would any wrestler grow his hair long? It just begs for an opponant to grab it and swing you around by the head.

8. There are actually people out there who can follow the plotlines to this. It amazes me. Perhaps I--with my love of cheesy drama and my complete lack of ability to achieve plot cohesion--should go write for the WWE.

9. Women who wrestle are scary.

10. Chris Benoit is probably a fairly decent sized guy, but compared to everyone else, he looks like a midget.