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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

The other day, The Boyfriend and I watched Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.

The Boyfriend liked it.

I thought it was A MONSTEROUS PILE OF CRAP.

First of all, I think the whole retro-fuzzy-filter thing is gimmicky, not cool. But my main problem is with Gwyneth Paltrow's character. She is a scheming, lying, ambitious bitch and I wanted her to die. Not to mention that this is yet another movie where the heroine can't run more than ten feet during an emergency without falling down. And when the giant robots are smashing down the street, does she evacuate with everyone else? No, she has to stay and take pictures. So here come the robots, stomping down the street, smashing everything in their path. Does she run off into an alley to avoid being crushed? No, she staggers around in the middle of the street trying to take pictures, only to fall down and cower under the decending foot of a robot until Jude Law comes along and saves her. If you're going to be an ambitious bitch character, you can't also be a wimpering pussy. It just makes you extremely unlikable. Not to mention that every time the opportunity presented itself, she made THE STUPIDEST DECISION POSSIBLE. I felt strongly that Jude Law should have dumped her out of the plane over the ocean somewhere along the way--would have made his life significantly easier. Plus, Angelina Jolie and Giovanni Ribisi (the only two reasons I even watched the movie in the first place, since I hate Jude Law and am not crazy about Gwyneth) were only in the movie for a combined total of probably 20 minutes. Actually, I thought Angelina should have killed both Jude AND Gwyneth and gone after Giovanni herself. She probably would have done it a lot more efficiently. ALSO: if you're a mad scientist and determined to build a spaceship to sail away and incinerate the earth, do you build escape pods into the ship? Why would you? You'd theoretically have nowhere to escape TO. To sum up, it SUCKED. Unless you like tacky special FX and bickering banter that was done 934579347593874592374957395 times better fifty years ago by Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in "The African Queen", just skip it. You know, I have always hated Jude Law (not as much as I hate Russell Crowe or fucking Dame Judi Dench. Still, that leaves a lot of room for hating...), but I was beginning to like Gwyneth. Too bad.

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