I am a big fan of westerns. I love the old ones--anything with Clint Eastwood on a horse will probably make me happy--and I like the newer ones, like Tombstone and the Coen brothers' excellent remake of True Grit. I am especially fond of HBO's (entirely too short-lived) TV show Deadwood. If you haven't seen it, I'd suggest you run out and get seasons one and two immediately (season three is...not as good.) The show is graphic (it's HBO, there are going to be boobs), the language is EXTREMELY salty, and some characters require the use of subtitles to get anything out of their dialogue. However, the acting is top-notch, the plots and dialogue are nearly Shakespearean, and Al Swearengen is about the coolest character to ever grace my television.
I told you that story to tell you this one:
Several of the characters on Deadwood are prostitutes. During the first season, pretty much the only women in the fledgling city are the hookers that were brought in to make money off the miners. The actresses who play them were great at their jobs, and they made me wonder about the lives of the real women who made their living on the wild frontier. Hence, this book.
Soiled Doves is not a bad book. It is filled with interesting anecdotes about famous prostitutes and madams of the time. However, I feel like the author glossed over some of the reality of their situations. While she does point out that many of the women who ended up as wild west hookers did so out of desperation, she tends to focus more on the ones who were successful. I realize that that makes for a more entertaining and enjoyable book, but sometimes I felt like the message was "Here's some adorable stories about prostitutes!" The writing is a bit repetitious, and could have used a more strict editor.
The other problem I have is that while I am sure the author did extensive research, I wonder how accurate many of these stories are. They seem very tall-tale-ish to me, just as the stories of Wild Bill Hickok or Wyatt Earp have become more palatable over time (for example, Kurt Russell's portrayal aside, Wyatt Earp was in reality kind of a scumbag con-artist -- still an interesting guy, but not the folk-hero he's made out to be). The danger of a book like this is while Seagraves does point out the downside of prostitution in the era, she also does a certain amount of romanticizing. I wonder if she would find the habits of modern prostitutes as quirky and their drive to survive in difficult situations as "courageous".
This is not a bad book to start with if one is interested in the subject, but I think I may have to dig a little deeper to get any real information.
Also, seriously, watch Deadwood. It's tremendous.
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
CR3 #80: Floating Dragon by Peter Straub
Floating Dragon is the story of a town that isn't quite right, and has never BEEN quite right. From its earliest beginnings, the town has been off-kilter, and every thirty years or so, really bad things seem to happen. Unfortunately, this time not only is the evil back, but it has help from a man-made toxic agent. The people in the small town are going mad, there's a serial killer on the loose, and the only people who can stop it are a former child star, an old man, a teenager, and a battered wife.
This story has a lot in common with the work of Stephen King, which is probably part of the reason I like it so much. In some ways, it's a lot like IT, and also shares some traits with the TV show Haven*, in that evil has come to rest in a small town and has been devouring the people who live there for centuries. I will say that Straub moves his plot along better than King usually does, and he also manages to put together an ending that doesn't make me want to kick the wall out of sheer frustration with the nonsense. However, although his characters were detailed and distinct, I didn't necessarily feel them very clearly. For example, although Richard Albee was one of the main characters of the story--of the four of them, he was focused on the most--I still only have a vague impression of him. To compare, in The Stand, there are probably at least twenty featured players, but I can see each and every one quite clearly in my head, and I understand their motivations. Straub often explains a character's motivations to the reader, but doesn't do a good enough job showing the character's motives in motion. I guess that's why the two authors did such good work together--they're both very talented, and their strengths and weaknesses complement each other perfectly.
I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of the genre. It's well-written and fairly exciting. I've seen that some reviewers found it too long, but I think it actually suffered from being a little too short. I really liked finding out the history of the town, and would have loved to see even more of that.
*Did anyone else watch Haven this summer? What a great show! Aside from my obvious pleasure in the multitude of Stephen King references, the actors are doing a fantastic job with their characters, and the over-arching mystery is taking shape without completely swamping the show. I'm really excited to see where they're going to with the "Troubled" vs. "Normal" showdown in Haven, and which sides the main characters will fall toward. Plus, the love triangle between Audrey, Nathan, and Duke is enticing. They've used guest stars judiciously--brought them in for actual arcs, rather than stunt casting (I was pleasantly surprised by how WWE's Edge was used, and also by his not-at-all-terrible acting)--and have also slowly worked in some other town regulars. It's so disappointing that I have to wait almost an entire year to find out the next chapter in the story! On the whole, I think that SyFy has done some great things with their original programming (Warehouse 13 is also a lot of fun), though I refuse to stop pointing out how stupid the whole "SyFy" branding is.
This story has a lot in common with the work of Stephen King, which is probably part of the reason I like it so much. In some ways, it's a lot like IT, and also shares some traits with the TV show Haven*, in that evil has come to rest in a small town and has been devouring the people who live there for centuries. I will say that Straub moves his plot along better than King usually does, and he also manages to put together an ending that doesn't make me want to kick the wall out of sheer frustration with the nonsense. However, although his characters were detailed and distinct, I didn't necessarily feel them very clearly. For example, although Richard Albee was one of the main characters of the story--of the four of them, he was focused on the most--I still only have a vague impression of him. To compare, in The Stand, there are probably at least twenty featured players, but I can see each and every one quite clearly in my head, and I understand their motivations. Straub often explains a character's motivations to the reader, but doesn't do a good enough job showing the character's motives in motion. I guess that's why the two authors did such good work together--they're both very talented, and their strengths and weaknesses complement each other perfectly.
I'd definitely recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of the genre. It's well-written and fairly exciting. I've seen that some reviewers found it too long, but I think it actually suffered from being a little too short. I really liked finding out the history of the town, and would have loved to see even more of that.
*Did anyone else watch Haven this summer? What a great show! Aside from my obvious pleasure in the multitude of Stephen King references, the actors are doing a fantastic job with their characters, and the over-arching mystery is taking shape without completely swamping the show. I'm really excited to see where they're going to with the "Troubled" vs. "Normal" showdown in Haven, and which sides the main characters will fall toward. Plus, the love triangle between Audrey, Nathan, and Duke is enticing. They've used guest stars judiciously--brought them in for actual arcs, rather than stunt casting (I was pleasantly surprised by how WWE's Edge was used, and also by his not-at-all-terrible acting)--and have also slowly worked in some other town regulars. It's so disappointing that I have to wait almost an entire year to find out the next chapter in the story! On the whole, I think that SyFy has done some great things with their original programming (Warehouse 13 is also a lot of fun), though I refuse to stop pointing out how stupid the whole "SyFy" branding is.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
CR3 #75: Deus Ex Machina by Andrew Foster Altschul
I know that reality television is destroying our brains. I know that it's irreparably damaged the scripted television industry. I know that it is a worthless waste of time. And yet...I still love some of it.
I'm picky about the reality I watch. I don't like anything medical-related. Both Hoarders and Intervention are deeply psychologically upsetting to me. I generally avoid dating shows (with the notable exception of Rock of Love--that was trashy in ways I had previously never imagined). I feel particularly strongly about not watching reality shows featuring children (they are at the mercy of their attention-whoring parents, and thus unable to avoid the damage that comes from being exposed to the world). I try to be ethical about my reality show choices. I don't want to give my support in any way to shows that include the word "wives" in the title, nor do I want to support shows that reward people for popping out an unreasonable number of children (both that show about those people with 19 kids and Teen Mom would fit into this category).
As for things I like: I will watch anything with a drag queen on it. I love to watch pretty girls cry on America's Next Top Model. I like shows like Project Runway or America's Best Dance Crew where talented people have to overcome challenges to try and create something. Watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition makes me feel good about myself because they are actually helping people. But the gateway drug is definitely Survivor. Take a group of people, drop them in some out of the way spot, force them to participate in challenges, and make them vote EACH OTHER off the island until only one is left. The show has the potential to be tremendous--in past seasons, there have been moments of wild humor, pathos, and extreme drama. All of the players attempt via different strategies to be the last one standing. There have been years when the least likely players have managed somehow to make it to the end. And of course there is the joy in watching the heat, hunger, lack of sleep, constant stress, and sheer inability to have a moment of privacy get to these people. Some of them just lose their minds, and then they become REALLY interesting. Obviously, the show has changed a lot over the years. Now there is more product placement ("And now we are heading to our Charmin Toilet Paper toilet hut!"), more manipulation of the game itself (dividing tribes by age or race, immunity idols, making sure the women are all stranded in totally inappropriate clothing), and worst, the players now understand being on TV. They plan to play a character, instead of allowing their genuine personalities to emerge. They know they can turn three weeks of Survivor into a career of club appearances, TV guide channel shows, and other reality television. It's changed the way they approach the game, which has in turn changed the game.
Deus Ex Machina is the story of "the producer." He created a show called "The Deserted," which seems to be a Survivor clone. The original concept was to drop ten people off and just watch them exist. However, by the time the book begins, The Deserted has mutated into something unbearable. It's all product placement, network meddling, and online polls. The producer doesn't know what's happening, but he knows that it's not what he originally wanted. Meanwhile, this season's Deserted stumble around the island, playing for all they're worth. The production crew follow, documenting everything that happens, and trying to figure out where the line is between improving and intervening. After a while, the whole mess begins to go mad, and the producer starts to lose his grip.
The story feels very similar to a Chuck Palahniuk novel, in that it starts out sort of reasonable, then starts to spiral out into more and more insanity. The language is fairly stark, and in some places the plot can be a bit difficult to follow, since the producer is both experiencing what's happening now and flashing back to things that happened in the past. It's tough to say whether the characterization is good or not, because most of the characters are meant to be caricatures, especially the Deserted players. For anyone who has watched at least a season of Survivor, this book feels familiar, but also slightly disturbing. I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys reality TV or at least discussing the ethics of it.
I'm picky about the reality I watch. I don't like anything medical-related. Both Hoarders and Intervention are deeply psychologically upsetting to me. I generally avoid dating shows (with the notable exception of Rock of Love--that was trashy in ways I had previously never imagined). I feel particularly strongly about not watching reality shows featuring children (they are at the mercy of their attention-whoring parents, and thus unable to avoid the damage that comes from being exposed to the world). I try to be ethical about my reality show choices. I don't want to give my support in any way to shows that include the word "wives" in the title, nor do I want to support shows that reward people for popping out an unreasonable number of children (both that show about those people with 19 kids and Teen Mom would fit into this category).
As for things I like: I will watch anything with a drag queen on it. I love to watch pretty girls cry on America's Next Top Model. I like shows like Project Runway or America's Best Dance Crew where talented people have to overcome challenges to try and create something. Watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition makes me feel good about myself because they are actually helping people. But the gateway drug is definitely Survivor. Take a group of people, drop them in some out of the way spot, force them to participate in challenges, and make them vote EACH OTHER off the island until only one is left. The show has the potential to be tremendous--in past seasons, there have been moments of wild humor, pathos, and extreme drama. All of the players attempt via different strategies to be the last one standing. There have been years when the least likely players have managed somehow to make it to the end. And of course there is the joy in watching the heat, hunger, lack of sleep, constant stress, and sheer inability to have a moment of privacy get to these people. Some of them just lose their minds, and then they become REALLY interesting. Obviously, the show has changed a lot over the years. Now there is more product placement ("And now we are heading to our Charmin Toilet Paper toilet hut!"), more manipulation of the game itself (dividing tribes by age or race, immunity idols, making sure the women are all stranded in totally inappropriate clothing), and worst, the players now understand being on TV. They plan to play a character, instead of allowing their genuine personalities to emerge. They know they can turn three weeks of Survivor into a career of club appearances, TV guide channel shows, and other reality television. It's changed the way they approach the game, which has in turn changed the game.
Deus Ex Machina is the story of "the producer." He created a show called "The Deserted," which seems to be a Survivor clone. The original concept was to drop ten people off and just watch them exist. However, by the time the book begins, The Deserted has mutated into something unbearable. It's all product placement, network meddling, and online polls. The producer doesn't know what's happening, but he knows that it's not what he originally wanted. Meanwhile, this season's Deserted stumble around the island, playing for all they're worth. The production crew follow, documenting everything that happens, and trying to figure out where the line is between improving and intervening. After a while, the whole mess begins to go mad, and the producer starts to lose his grip.
The story feels very similar to a Chuck Palahniuk novel, in that it starts out sort of reasonable, then starts to spiral out into more and more insanity. The language is fairly stark, and in some places the plot can be a bit difficult to follow, since the producer is both experiencing what's happening now and flashing back to things that happened in the past. It's tough to say whether the characterization is good or not, because most of the characters are meant to be caricatures, especially the Deserted players. For anyone who has watched at least a season of Survivor, this book feels familiar, but also slightly disturbing. I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys reality TV or at least discussing the ethics of it.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Random Things That Are Not Book Reviews
For that four of you out there who read this blog on a regular basis, you must be getting exceedingly tired of my endless book reviews. I'm not going to STOP with the books, mind you, but I thought at least today I could talk about something different. Besides, I also watch MOVIES!
1. Cannonball Fail #1: Before I get into movies, I have to make mention of my first Cannonball Fail. I tried to read Jane Austen's Sense & Sensibility, but after about 100 pages, I just had to throw it against the wall and give up. I couldn't stand any of the characters--I wanted to take every single person in that story out behind the barn and beat him/her unconscious with a rock. They were all so snooty and archaic. Anyway, I very very rarely give up on a book--sometimes I take...very long breaks, but I nearly always come back and finish--but I couldn't do it. I don't really understand my problem, either. I know several bright, interesting people who truly enjoy Jane Austen's work. And I enjoyed the film based on this book (though I felt that Emma Thompson would have made a much better couple with Alan Rickman than with that stuttering ninny Hugh Grant.) Oh well. Can't win them all, I guess.
2. I am really disappointed by this whole "Congressman Weiner Sends Photos of His Junk to Young Women" scandal. It's a shame that someone who could have been such a beneficial force for the democratic party turned out to be a slave to his penis. Seriously, dude. Have you learned nothing from...every celebrity who has been caught in one of these stupid scandals since the internet began? Don't you know that the girls are GOING TO SELL THE PICTURES? They may weep about how intrusive everyone is and how their lives will never be the same and oh woe is me, Gloria Allred, why has this happened to me? Why won't the media leave meeeeeee alooooone? What they will NOT do is delete the damn pictures and then be like "What pictures?" Do not ever think they will delete the pictures and keep their mouths shut. There is no money or trashy tabloid fame in that. "Ohhh, I just had to tell my story!" Why? How exactly are you enriching the national discourse? ARGH! I am so annoyed by the whole situation. Just once I'd like a politician I like to turn out NOT to be a pervy hobbit-fancier*.
3. The Boston Bruins are in the Stanley Cup finals. I would like to believe it is possible for them to win, but in my (admittedly limited) experience with them, they are really just trying to find the most frustrating and heart-crushing way possible to lose. I have to say I do love when one of the local teams is in championship contention, because the whole city gets excited about it. Total strangers are talking to one another in bus stations, and wearing their related gear with great city pride. I've been pretty lucky since I moved here--the local teams have been having a rather impressive streak of successful seasons. Even someone who was totally anti-sports (like yours truly) can't help but be swept up in it all.
4. The other night, Netflix finally had a copy of Death Race 2000 to send me (the darn film has had been listed as "Long Wait" for about a year). Turns out it is one of the cheesiest films I've ever had the good fortune to be exposed to. For those who are unfamiliar, this is NOT the Jason Statham version but rather the original, where the Death Racers are out on the open roads, trying to both cross the country first AND kill the most pedestrians. David Carradine stars as the masked driver Frankenstein, and he can strip down to his wee speedos all he likes, Jason Statham is going to beat him every time in that competition. Also, he doesn't really measure up in growly witticisms or intense glaring. The whole movie was a cheese fest, and the cars were like something out of Wacky Races. The second best part of the whole thing was that a movie made in 1975 could predict (to an almost eerie degree) our current world of reality TV and government-by-media-based-terror. The best part was that Sylvester Stallone was in it, back before he had the clout to demand that he not appear short in movies. Plus, he spends most of the movie dressed as a gangster (except a notable scene wearing only a towel) and smears cake on people's faces. Good show.
5. On a related note, after finishing up Death Race 2000, I felt the need to continue into a "Sylvester Stallone Marathon." Here's another embarrassing fact about me: I love Sylvester Stallone. I love him almost as much as I love Nic Cage, and for many of the same reasons. First off, they both started out hotter than all hell. Come on, you can't tell me that early 80s Stallone was not attractive! Hell, even in the early 90s he was still doing all right. Okay, yeah, then he stuffed his face full of botox or plastic or wombat glands or whatever and had his eyelids sewed to his forehead and did every steroid in the universe and now he's kind of scary like a Michael Myers Halloween mask. But still! I'm not a fan of the Rocky movies, and I found Rambo rather upsetting to be honest ("That man needs to be in a hospital being treated for his PTSD! It's not right that he's been left to wander the roads alone without any psychiatric treatment!"). Where it's at is definitely Stallone's comedies. I adore Demolition Man and Tango & Cash. I like Judge Dredd a lot. I even giggle at Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Something about his whole "muscle-bound--but still intelligent!--jerkface in an upside down world" scenarios tickles my funny bone. And his voice just makes it that much better. The Boyfriend does not get the appeal, but I think that's because he is totally immune to the draw of camp. I keep hoping that one day, Stallone and Cage will share the screen somehow. Should that happen, I might just explode with joy.
6. Another thing I've been enjoying recently is the BBC show Sherlock. The first season is currently available via Netflix OnDemand, and so far (two episodes in) I've been very impressed. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is just as I always pictured it to be--less combative, as in the recent film version--and more of a symbiotic and occasionally truly affectionate friendship. Benedict Cumberbatch (is that not the most British name you could possibly imagine? I think the only one I can make up that even comes close is Second Leftenant Percy Q. Hufflefufshire, which, BTW, is what I am going to name my dog, should I ever get one) makes a great Holmes--you can often see the wheels in his head actively turning. Martin Freeman (whom I really enjoyed in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and look forward to as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit) is also quite good as Dr. Watson. He's a slightly more complex character than Watson was originally written in the stories, and he does a great job showing both the frustration and the awe that dealing with Holmes on a daily basis inspires. If you have the technology, I highly recommend watching these. There's only 4 episodes in series one I think, so it's not a giant commitment.
So yeah. Apparently I had a lot to say and didn't even get to half the movies I intended to mention, as well as my obsession with NBC's The Voice and the reasons I hate watching Rafael Nadal play tennis. Guess I will have to save those for another entry.
*"Pervy hobbit-fancier" is the invention of the hilarious Cassandra Clare in The Very Secret Diaries. If you have time, and enjoy Lord of the Rings, you should read them. I laugh until I snort every single time.
1. Cannonball Fail #1: Before I get into movies, I have to make mention of my first Cannonball Fail. I tried to read Jane Austen's Sense & Sensibility, but after about 100 pages, I just had to throw it against the wall and give up. I couldn't stand any of the characters--I wanted to take every single person in that story out behind the barn and beat him/her unconscious with a rock. They were all so snooty and archaic. Anyway, I very very rarely give up on a book--sometimes I take...very long breaks, but I nearly always come back and finish--but I couldn't do it. I don't really understand my problem, either. I know several bright, interesting people who truly enjoy Jane Austen's work. And I enjoyed the film based on this book (though I felt that Emma Thompson would have made a much better couple with Alan Rickman than with that stuttering ninny Hugh Grant.) Oh well. Can't win them all, I guess.
2. I am really disappointed by this whole "Congressman Weiner Sends Photos of His Junk to Young Women" scandal. It's a shame that someone who could have been such a beneficial force for the democratic party turned out to be a slave to his penis. Seriously, dude. Have you learned nothing from...every celebrity who has been caught in one of these stupid scandals since the internet began? Don't you know that the girls are GOING TO SELL THE PICTURES? They may weep about how intrusive everyone is and how their lives will never be the same and oh woe is me, Gloria Allred, why has this happened to me? Why won't the media leave meeeeeee alooooone? What they will NOT do is delete the damn pictures and then be like "What pictures?" Do not ever think they will delete the pictures and keep their mouths shut. There is no money or trashy tabloid fame in that. "Ohhh, I just had to tell my story!" Why? How exactly are you enriching the national discourse? ARGH! I am so annoyed by the whole situation. Just once I'd like a politician I like to turn out NOT to be a pervy hobbit-fancier*.
3. The Boston Bruins are in the Stanley Cup finals. I would like to believe it is possible for them to win, but in my (admittedly limited) experience with them, they are really just trying to find the most frustrating and heart-crushing way possible to lose. I have to say I do love when one of the local teams is in championship contention, because the whole city gets excited about it. Total strangers are talking to one another in bus stations, and wearing their related gear with great city pride. I've been pretty lucky since I moved here--the local teams have been having a rather impressive streak of successful seasons. Even someone who was totally anti-sports (like yours truly) can't help but be swept up in it all.
4. The other night, Netflix finally had a copy of Death Race 2000 to send me (the darn film has had been listed as "Long Wait" for about a year). Turns out it is one of the cheesiest films I've ever had the good fortune to be exposed to. For those who are unfamiliar, this is NOT the Jason Statham version but rather the original, where the Death Racers are out on the open roads, trying to both cross the country first AND kill the most pedestrians. David Carradine stars as the masked driver Frankenstein, and he can strip down to his wee speedos all he likes, Jason Statham is going to beat him every time in that competition. Also, he doesn't really measure up in growly witticisms or intense glaring. The whole movie was a cheese fest, and the cars were like something out of Wacky Races. The second best part of the whole thing was that a movie made in 1975 could predict (to an almost eerie degree) our current world of reality TV and government-by-media-based-terror. The best part was that Sylvester Stallone was in it, back before he had the clout to demand that he not appear short in movies. Plus, he spends most of the movie dressed as a gangster (except a notable scene wearing only a towel) and smears cake on people's faces. Good show.
5. On a related note, after finishing up Death Race 2000, I felt the need to continue into a "Sylvester Stallone Marathon." Here's another embarrassing fact about me: I love Sylvester Stallone. I love him almost as much as I love Nic Cage, and for many of the same reasons. First off, they both started out hotter than all hell. Come on, you can't tell me that early 80s Stallone was not attractive! Hell, even in the early 90s he was still doing all right. Okay, yeah, then he stuffed his face full of botox or plastic or wombat glands or whatever and had his eyelids sewed to his forehead and did every steroid in the universe and now he's kind of scary like a Michael Myers Halloween mask. But still! I'm not a fan of the Rocky movies, and I found Rambo rather upsetting to be honest ("That man needs to be in a hospital being treated for his PTSD! It's not right that he's been left to wander the roads alone without any psychiatric treatment!"). Where it's at is definitely Stallone's comedies. I adore Demolition Man and Tango & Cash. I like Judge Dredd a lot. I even giggle at Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! Something about his whole "muscle-bound--but still intelligent!--jerkface in an upside down world" scenarios tickles my funny bone. And his voice just makes it that much better. The Boyfriend does not get the appeal, but I think that's because he is totally immune to the draw of camp. I keep hoping that one day, Stallone and Cage will share the screen somehow. Should that happen, I might just explode with joy.
6. Another thing I've been enjoying recently is the BBC show Sherlock. The first season is currently available via Netflix OnDemand, and so far (two episodes in) I've been very impressed. The relationship between Holmes and Watson is just as I always pictured it to be--less combative, as in the recent film version--and more of a symbiotic and occasionally truly affectionate friendship. Benedict Cumberbatch (is that not the most British name you could possibly imagine? I think the only one I can make up that even comes close is Second Leftenant Percy Q. Hufflefufshire, which, BTW, is what I am going to name my dog, should I ever get one) makes a great Holmes--you can often see the wheels in his head actively turning. Martin Freeman (whom I really enjoyed in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and look forward to as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit) is also quite good as Dr. Watson. He's a slightly more complex character than Watson was originally written in the stories, and he does a great job showing both the frustration and the awe that dealing with Holmes on a daily basis inspires. If you have the technology, I highly recommend watching these. There's only 4 episodes in series one I think, so it's not a giant commitment.
So yeah. Apparently I had a lot to say and didn't even get to half the movies I intended to mention, as well as my obsession with NBC's The Voice and the reasons I hate watching Rafael Nadal play tennis. Guess I will have to save those for another entry.
*"Pervy hobbit-fancier" is the invention of the hilarious Cassandra Clare in The Very Secret Diaries. If you have time, and enjoy Lord of the Rings, you should read them. I laugh until I snort every single time.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
CR3 #45: Pronto by Elmore Leonard
Elmore Leonard's work (so far as I can tell) is populated by a rich and eccentric group of characters. Each one has a distinct personality, and each seems to act for reasons that make sense with his personality--I never got the feeling a character was doing something just to suit the author's plan.
The main character of Pronto is Harry Arno. He's an aging bookie who has been forced into retirement earlier than planned by local crime lord Jimmy Cap. In fact, he hasn't just been forced into retirement, he's been chased right out of Miami. Harry's insistence that he's been set up by the local feds in order to get him to testify against Jimmy falls on deaf ears, and soon men with shotguns are turning up outside Harry's apartment. The US Marshall service sends Marshall Raylan Givens (yay!) to keep an eye on Harry, but Harry is just a little too slippery for his own good. Soon, Raylan is chasing Harry through Italy, with Jimmy Cap's men close on his tail.
It's a good story with solid characters. I was--as always--happy to see Raylan Givens, though his character in the book is a little less charming than Timothy Olyphant plays him on Justified (the beginning of the show actually picks up right where this book ends). The side characters were also entertaining, and I was invested in what happened to them (even though Harry is not particularly likable, the people around him were). Even the bad guys were written to be interesting and at times sympathetic. The plot moved along briskly, and I never found myself feeling either bored or rushed. The way the story ended left some openings, but was not unsatisfying. On the whole, I'd recommend this to anyone who likes a well-written crime caper.
The main character of Pronto is Harry Arno. He's an aging bookie who has been forced into retirement earlier than planned by local crime lord Jimmy Cap. In fact, he hasn't just been forced into retirement, he's been chased right out of Miami. Harry's insistence that he's been set up by the local feds in order to get him to testify against Jimmy falls on deaf ears, and soon men with shotguns are turning up outside Harry's apartment. The US Marshall service sends Marshall Raylan Givens (yay!) to keep an eye on Harry, but Harry is just a little too slippery for his own good. Soon, Raylan is chasing Harry through Italy, with Jimmy Cap's men close on his tail.
It's a good story with solid characters. I was--as always--happy to see Raylan Givens, though his character in the book is a little less charming than Timothy Olyphant plays him on Justified (the beginning of the show actually picks up right where this book ends). The side characters were also entertaining, and I was invested in what happened to them (even though Harry is not particularly likable, the people around him were). Even the bad guys were written to be interesting and at times sympathetic. The plot moved along briskly, and I never found myself feeling either bored or rushed. The way the story ended left some openings, but was not unsatisfying. On the whole, I'd recommend this to anyone who likes a well-written crime caper.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Addendum to 'Observations'
I forgot, when mentioning television shows I've been watching, to bring up Hawaii Five-O. However, I can't pretend that I watch it for any reason other than to drool dreamily at teensy, cranky, adorably Jersey Scott Caan. Therefore, it's probably best to not bring it up.
P.S. I fucking LOVE Scott Caan, okay? I just want to bring him home and snuggle him like a lost hamster. Is that so wrong?
P.P.S. The show itself is not terrible. Sometimes it (mostly Scott Caan) is funny. The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes Alex O'Laughlin takes his shirt off (why not you, Scott Caan?) and that is beautiful too.
P.P.P.S. Actual native Hawaiian actors are being used, it seems, which is a good thing.
P.P.P.P.S. Scott Caan, people. If he's wrong, I don't want to be right.
P.P.P.P.P.S: Don't worry, Nic Cage. Scott Caan is just a fling. You know I'll always love you best.
P.S. I fucking LOVE Scott Caan, okay? I just want to bring him home and snuggle him like a lost hamster. Is that so wrong?
P.P.S. The show itself is not terrible. Sometimes it (mostly Scott Caan) is funny. The scenery is very beautiful, and sometimes Alex O'Laughlin takes his shirt off (why not you, Scott Caan?) and that is beautiful too.
P.P.P.S. Actual native Hawaiian actors are being used, it seems, which is a good thing.
P.P.P.P.S. Scott Caan, people. If he's wrong, I don't want to be right.
P.P.P.P.P.S: Don't worry, Nic Cage. Scott Caan is just a fling. You know I'll always love you best.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Observations
I had totally planned to do NaBloPoMo, and then suddenly realized it's November 8th and I am already seven days behind. So that was the end of THAT idea.
I have been reading quite a bit lately, though have not yet started blogging on books again. No word on whether there will be a Cannonball Read 3. I kind of would love to get it going among a small group--more like a book club but we read different books--but I'm not sure how well that idea would go over. After all, most of the people I know (live and virtually) are very busy. If any of you readers are interested or have ideas of your own, please let me know. I guess I feel kind of silly blogging away about books almost by myself. Left to my own devices, I just read them, which is probably not as effective and productive.
Speaking of books, I have discovered that my giant Ikea shelf my parents bought me in
April is now almost completely full (as are all the other shelves in the house.) I am either going to have to do a serious book purge, or I need to find a space to put up the second shelf. (The latter option seems more likely, frankly.)
I have been watching TV lately, some very interesting things going on at the moment. I like all my old favorites (though I find both L&O:LA and L&O:SVU somewhat disappointing) but there are some great new things on that I am really enjoying.
1. Boardwalk Empire, HBO: This show is stellar, and I'm really enjoying it so far. The characters are multi-faceted and well-acted, and the plots are usually very intriguing. Not to mention the set design and costuming are unbelievable. Steve Buscemi is great as Nucky Thompson, a crooked politician who is running Atlantic City at the beginning of Prohibition. Michael Pitt (whom I wasn't really sure of at first) is really settling into his character, dangerous yet vulnerable war-veteran-turning-gangster Jimmy Darmody. At first he seemed unsure of exactly how to play the character, but as time has gone by, I feel like he's gotten a grip on what drives Jimmy's thought processes. Plus the Jimmy character is less lost and has more purpose now. Anyway, it's one of the very few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy, and I recommend it.
2. The Walking Dead, AMC: I just got around to watching the pilot episode for this yesterday, and I was very impressed. I'm kind of surprised to see something like this--humans versus zombies--on mainstream television. I have read the first three books in the comic series on which the show is based, and am thus far pretty impressed how closely the show has stuck to the source material. Anything that was added so far seems to be a benefit. Obviously it's hard to say much about a show having seen only one episode, but I will say the tension was constant, and many of the scares were not so much gore related (though they don't shy away from that) as they were pure "Omigod what is going to happen next Oh why are you going into that dark hallway what are you doing GET OUT OF THERE!" thrills. I was interested to check this out because I have enjoyed Frank Darabont's previous Stephen King adaptations (the only director, IMHO, who has had any luck adapting King works). So far, so good, though I suspect it won't take me long to hate the wife character. It's also kind of great that while there are no "big name" stars in this, there are several "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. If I were you, I'd check it out.
3. Raising Hope, Fox: I don't watch too many sitcoms these days (mostly just The Big Bang Theory and Community) but this one is definitely worth watching. It's the story of Jimmy Chance, a not-very-bright young dude who winds up with a baby after a one night stand with a serial killer. Jimmy decides that he is going to keep the baby, Hope (or as her mother named her, "Princess Beyonce") and raise her himself, trying to avoid the mistakes made by his parents, who were teenagers when he was born. The parents are played to perfection by Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt. I have always loved Martha Plimpton, and her portrayal of cynical cleaning lady Virginia is hilarious. Even better is Garret Dillahunt; I have really liked him in everything he's done before--he's done brilliant work as creepy, evil characters on Deadwood, Life, and Burn Notice--so it's a treat to see him play the good-natured but utterly dim Burt. Throw in Chloris Leachman as Virginia's deranged grandmother, and it's a veritable cornucopia of dysfunction. I guess what gets me, though, is how they--particularly Plimpton--remind me of a white-trash version of my own family. This show was created by Greg Garcia, who was also responsible for My Name is Earl. Raising Hope has the same sort of vaguely cartoonish feel about it, while still having a heart. Don't miss this!
I have been reading quite a bit lately, though have not yet started blogging on books again. No word on whether there will be a Cannonball Read 3. I kind of would love to get it going among a small group--more like a book club but we read different books--but I'm not sure how well that idea would go over. After all, most of the people I know (live and virtually) are very busy. If any of you readers are interested or have ideas of your own, please let me know. I guess I feel kind of silly blogging away about books almost by myself. Left to my own devices, I just read them, which is probably not as effective and productive.
Speaking of books, I have discovered that my giant Ikea shelf my parents bought me in
April is now almost completely full (as are all the other shelves in the house.) I am either going to have to do a serious book purge, or I need to find a space to put up the second shelf. (The latter option seems more likely, frankly.)
I have been watching TV lately, some very interesting things going on at the moment. I like all my old favorites (though I find both L&O:LA and L&O:SVU somewhat disappointing) but there are some great new things on that I am really enjoying.
1. Boardwalk Empire, HBO: This show is stellar, and I'm really enjoying it so far. The characters are multi-faceted and well-acted, and the plots are usually very intriguing. Not to mention the set design and costuming are unbelievable. Steve Buscemi is great as Nucky Thompson, a crooked politician who is running Atlantic City at the beginning of Prohibition. Michael Pitt (whom I wasn't really sure of at first) is really settling into his character, dangerous yet vulnerable war-veteran-turning-gangster Jimmy Darmody. At first he seemed unsure of exactly how to play the character, but as time has gone by, I feel like he's gotten a grip on what drives Jimmy's thought processes. Plus the Jimmy character is less lost and has more purpose now. Anyway, it's one of the very few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy, and I recommend it.
2. The Walking Dead, AMC: I just got around to watching the pilot episode for this yesterday, and I was very impressed. I'm kind of surprised to see something like this--humans versus zombies--on mainstream television. I have read the first three books in the comic series on which the show is based, and am thus far pretty impressed how closely the show has stuck to the source material. Anything that was added so far seems to be a benefit. Obviously it's hard to say much about a show having seen only one episode, but I will say the tension was constant, and many of the scares were not so much gore related (though they don't shy away from that) as they were pure "Omigod what is going to happen next Oh why are you going into that dark hallway what are you doing GET OUT OF THERE!" thrills. I was interested to check this out because I have enjoyed Frank Darabont's previous Stephen King adaptations (the only director, IMHO, who has had any luck adapting King works). So far, so good, though I suspect it won't take me long to hate the wife character. It's also kind of great that while there are no "big name" stars in this, there are several "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. If I were you, I'd check it out.
3. Raising Hope, Fox: I don't watch too many sitcoms these days (mostly just The Big Bang Theory and Community) but this one is definitely worth watching. It's the story of Jimmy Chance, a not-very-bright young dude who winds up with a baby after a one night stand with a serial killer. Jimmy decides that he is going to keep the baby, Hope (or as her mother named her, "Princess Beyonce") and raise her himself, trying to avoid the mistakes made by his parents, who were teenagers when he was born. The parents are played to perfection by Martha Plimpton and Garret Dillahunt. I have always loved Martha Plimpton, and her portrayal of cynical cleaning lady Virginia is hilarious. Even better is Garret Dillahunt; I have really liked him in everything he's done before--he's done brilliant work as creepy, evil characters on Deadwood, Life, and Burn Notice--so it's a treat to see him play the good-natured but utterly dim Burt. Throw in Chloris Leachman as Virginia's deranged grandmother, and it's a veritable cornucopia of dysfunction. I guess what gets me, though, is how they--particularly Plimpton--remind me of a white-trash version of my own family. This show was created by Greg Garcia, who was also responsible for My Name is Earl. Raising Hope has the same sort of vaguely cartoonish feel about it, while still having a heart. Don't miss this!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A True Blood Post: Because I am Possibly the Biggest Dork Alive
Unfortunately, neither The Boyfriend nor Starbucks Queen are even the slightest bit interested in True Blood, and most of the people I know who are have either only read the books or only seen the show or are behind on the show because they're watching it on DVD or whatever. Therefore, I am spewing out all my opinions here because I can't keep them to myself any longer.
Reasons the Books are Better than the Show:
1. Sookie is a lot less annoying when you can't hear her. I like Anna Paquin, and think she mostly does an okay job with the character (though this season the writing for her has been weak at best) but sometimes she has a voice like a dental drill. Particularly when she is shrieking "BEEEEEEEEEELL!" every 38 seconds.
2. In the books, Alcide is a hottie and he and Sookie have crazy chemistry. On the show he has all the personality of a garden hose, and he and Sookie seem to barely like one another. He's been underused this season, but I'm not exactly sad, because the actor playing him is a significant disappointment.
3. The books are a little more focused than the show, allowing the Sookie character to be more important. They're told from her point of view, so reader can find her character more sympathetic.
4. The fairy Claudine is more awesome and interesting and involved and less "Whoo, I'm mysterious and pointy-faced in my fuzzy-filtered Stevie Nicks world!" Her character personality-wise is much more similar in the books to what Maryanne was last season. In the books, Claudine is an active and vital force for good out in the world rather than the twinkly, whimpering doom-whisperer she's been thus far on the show.
5. There is a lot less Arlene in the books. I find Arlene and her storyline sort of annoying this season, though I think the actress is doing the best she can with the little she's been given. She's a shrill character, and I wish she'd been improved instead of turned into a whiny stereotype and easy doorway for witchcraft to enter the show.
6. Calvin Norris is an interesting and complicated character, instead of a deranged meth head who shouldn't have even showed up until season 4. I was extremely disappointed at how he's been used in the show, since his character in the books is another option for Sookie--a slightly more "normal" guy who wants to give her a more "normal" life. I mean, aside from being a panther, obviously.
7. Bubba! I know why they can't use him on the show, but I do miss him.
Reasons the Show is Better Than the Books:
1. Lafayette doesn't die! In the books, he's a throwaway character who gets murdered at the end of book one. In the show, he is just a huge bowl of awesome and Nelsan Ellis should get an award or a big check or something. He's an effeminate-looking gay tough guy, who has a lot of great lines, and I'm happy that he finally has someone to appreciate him, though I'm not sure I like where this Jesus thing is going.
2. Jason is a better character. In the books he's kind of a selfish jerk, whereas in the show he is sometimes self-involved, but sweet...though not very bright. Often, watching Jason try to puzzle out what's going on around him and figure out what the appropriate response should be is the funniest part of the episode. I am admittedly rather unimpressed with him and his whole wannabe-cop, dating the meth-girl story line this season. He's a much better brother than he is in the books, though, and I have liked his interactions with Sookie.
3. Although this season the side characters have gotten a little out of control, in the past I have enjoyed how some of the very minor book characters have developed their own lives and personalities and story lines. Terry Bellefleur is a great example of this--he's mentioned in the books in passing, but I have liked his character and become invested in what happens to him (frankly, his relationship with Arlene and falling out with Sam has me very concerned at the moment). Sam is another character that is not nearly as important in the books as he is in the show. It's interesting to see him have his own life, though I could have happily done without his creepy white-trash family. (Also, the dude who plays him is adorable and apparently not shy about getting naked a lot.)
4. Jessica! She's a completely new invention from Alan Ball, and she's great -- a young vampire, a counterpoint to Bill, Eric, Pam, and all the other vamps we know who are centuries old. She's a modern girl trying to figure out how to behave and where her place in the world might be. The interactions between her and Bill (her unwilling surrogate dad, who--we're led to believe--is nicer to her than her real dad ever was), her and Sookie (both a surrogate mom and an older sister, helping Jessica see how a nice--but not stiflingly sheltered--girl behaves), her and Hoyt (one of the cutest relationships on the show), and her and Pam (who shows her how a BAD girl behaves) are all great and show different sides of familiar characters.
5. As many have been mentioning this season, Dennis O'Hare's Russell Edgington has been campy fun all the way around. Although his storyline is very different than it was in the books, he's been a delight to watch in every episode. He's another person who deserves an award or a large check (particularly since I think his character doesn't have much longer to live.)
Things That are Ties:
1. Tara in the books is a minor side character who is not very interesting. I really liked her character in Season One, but she all of season two and most of season three weeping around. I miss when she was feisty. I did enjoy her recent conversation with Sam, but she seriously needs to stop getting all the "victim" stories.
2. Sam's brother, a recent addition, could go either way. I'm not sure if the show is better because he's in it or the books are better because he's not. Although I like that he's kind of scrappy, and his crush on Jessica is kind of cute, he can be a pain-in-the-ass for no reason. Like, okay, you are uneducated and have daddy issues and mommy issues and class issues. Stop treating Sam like trash and let him help you out, pitbull face.
3. The Queen is not interesting to me in the books or the show. She is just dull and mostly used as a plot point rather than a real character.
4. I'd really like to see Sookie's friendship with Pam develop as it does in the books, but so far, Kristen Bauer has done a great job being icy and sarcastic and yet deeply attached to her maker on the show.
5. Eric is awesome no matter where he is. I really don't know how he could be improved. Then again, I am a sucker for a saucy viking.
Any other thoughts?
Reasons the Books are Better than the Show:
1. Sookie is a lot less annoying when you can't hear her. I like Anna Paquin, and think she mostly does an okay job with the character (though this season the writing for her has been weak at best) but sometimes she has a voice like a dental drill. Particularly when she is shrieking "BEEEEEEEEEELL!" every 38 seconds.
2. In the books, Alcide is a hottie and he and Sookie have crazy chemistry. On the show he has all the personality of a garden hose, and he and Sookie seem to barely like one another. He's been underused this season, but I'm not exactly sad, because the actor playing him is a significant disappointment.
3. The books are a little more focused than the show, allowing the Sookie character to be more important. They're told from her point of view, so reader can find her character more sympathetic.
4. The fairy Claudine is more awesome and interesting and involved and less "Whoo, I'm mysterious and pointy-faced in my fuzzy-filtered Stevie Nicks world!" Her character personality-wise is much more similar in the books to what Maryanne was last season. In the books, Claudine is an active and vital force for good out in the world rather than the twinkly, whimpering doom-whisperer she's been thus far on the show.
5. There is a lot less Arlene in the books. I find Arlene and her storyline sort of annoying this season, though I think the actress is doing the best she can with the little she's been given. She's a shrill character, and I wish she'd been improved instead of turned into a whiny stereotype and easy doorway for witchcraft to enter the show.
6. Calvin Norris is an interesting and complicated character, instead of a deranged meth head who shouldn't have even showed up until season 4. I was extremely disappointed at how he's been used in the show, since his character in the books is another option for Sookie--a slightly more "normal" guy who wants to give her a more "normal" life. I mean, aside from being a panther, obviously.
7. Bubba! I know why they can't use him on the show, but I do miss him.
Reasons the Show is Better Than the Books:
1. Lafayette doesn't die! In the books, he's a throwaway character who gets murdered at the end of book one. In the show, he is just a huge bowl of awesome and Nelsan Ellis should get an award or a big check or something. He's an effeminate-looking gay tough guy, who has a lot of great lines, and I'm happy that he finally has someone to appreciate him, though I'm not sure I like where this Jesus thing is going.
2. Jason is a better character. In the books he's kind of a selfish jerk, whereas in the show he is sometimes self-involved, but sweet...though not very bright. Often, watching Jason try to puzzle out what's going on around him and figure out what the appropriate response should be is the funniest part of the episode. I am admittedly rather unimpressed with him and his whole wannabe-cop, dating the meth-girl story line this season. He's a much better brother than he is in the books, though, and I have liked his interactions with Sookie.
3. Although this season the side characters have gotten a little out of control, in the past I have enjoyed how some of the very minor book characters have developed their own lives and personalities and story lines. Terry Bellefleur is a great example of this--he's mentioned in the books in passing, but I have liked his character and become invested in what happens to him (frankly, his relationship with Arlene and falling out with Sam has me very concerned at the moment). Sam is another character that is not nearly as important in the books as he is in the show. It's interesting to see him have his own life, though I could have happily done without his creepy white-trash family. (Also, the dude who plays him is adorable and apparently not shy about getting naked a lot.)
4. Jessica! She's a completely new invention from Alan Ball, and she's great -- a young vampire, a counterpoint to Bill, Eric, Pam, and all the other vamps we know who are centuries old. She's a modern girl trying to figure out how to behave and where her place in the world might be. The interactions between her and Bill (her unwilling surrogate dad, who--we're led to believe--is nicer to her than her real dad ever was), her and Sookie (both a surrogate mom and an older sister, helping Jessica see how a nice--but not stiflingly sheltered--girl behaves), her and Hoyt (one of the cutest relationships on the show), and her and Pam (who shows her how a BAD girl behaves) are all great and show different sides of familiar characters.
5. As many have been mentioning this season, Dennis O'Hare's Russell Edgington has been campy fun all the way around. Although his storyline is very different than it was in the books, he's been a delight to watch in every episode. He's another person who deserves an award or a large check (particularly since I think his character doesn't have much longer to live.)
Things That are Ties:
1. Tara in the books is a minor side character who is not very interesting. I really liked her character in Season One, but she all of season two and most of season three weeping around. I miss when she was feisty. I did enjoy her recent conversation with Sam, but she seriously needs to stop getting all the "victim" stories.
2. Sam's brother, a recent addition, could go either way. I'm not sure if the show is better because he's in it or the books are better because he's not. Although I like that he's kind of scrappy, and his crush on Jessica is kind of cute, he can be a pain-in-the-ass for no reason. Like, okay, you are uneducated and have daddy issues and mommy issues and class issues. Stop treating Sam like trash and let him help you out, pitbull face.
3. The Queen is not interesting to me in the books or the show. She is just dull and mostly used as a plot point rather than a real character.
4. I'd really like to see Sookie's friendship with Pam develop as it does in the books, but so far, Kristen Bauer has done a great job being icy and sarcastic and yet deeply attached to her maker on the show.
5. Eric is awesome no matter where he is. I really don't know how he could be improved. Then again, I am a sucker for a saucy viking.
Any other thoughts?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Summer TV: 2010
It's that time of year again, when I tell you what's great to watch if you are a couch potato like me. The summer shows are surprisingly good this year, and I have also found that reality TV is playing almost no part in my summer. Which is good--I think supporting scripted television is totally the way to go.
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT Mondays 10pm): This isn't anything particularly special, but it's a competent procedural, and it's nice to see a show with females as the leads in this genre. I always liked Angie Harmon when she was on Law & Order, and Sasha Alexander was great during her stint on NCIS. The two of them are believable as friends, though they're only a few episodes in to the series and are still finding the characters' rhythm. I'm pleased to see Donnie Wahlberg working, since I think he is the less attractive but more talented of the Wahlberg brothers. Main distraction: every time Bruce McGill comes on screen I find myself squealing "D-Day!"
Memphis Beat (TNT Tuesdays 10pm): I'm still not sold on this one yet, but I'm giving it a chance. I like Jason Lee (despite the fact that he's a scientologist) and Alfre Woodard (remember when they played a couple in Mumford?). The cases are not particularly complicated, but they're enough to keep me watching. The side characters are funny, but I think may of them are under-utilized. Also, while I get the whole "Memphis" emphasis, sometimes the constant music cues get to be a little much. I'm not sure if this one is going to improve, since it could very well become extremely monotonous. It's not a "can't miss" but it's serviceable.
White Collar (USA Tuesdays 9pm): Con-man extraordinaire Neal Caffrey is back, and he is just as charming as ever. This season, the mystery of the music box continues, as well as Neal and Peter trying to figure out who killed Kate at the end of season one. The weekly cases are interesting and clever. Matt Bomer is really excellent in the role, and the interplay between him and Tim McKay (as FBI agent Peter Burke) continues to improve. Willie Garson is also still very funny as Neal's underworld friend Mozzie. I give this one a definite thumbs up.
Warehouse 13 (SyFy Tuesdays 9pm): Warehouse agents Myka and Pete are back, trying to keep society safe from the mysterious artifacts that belong in the Warehouse (think the place where the Ark of the Covenant went at the end of Indiana Jones...) Eccentric boss Artie, the mysterious Mrs. Frederic, and computer genius Claudia track artifacts all over the world. It's hard to explain, but for those who are into sci-fi, it's a fun little show. Not a "can't miss" but totally watchable. I just hope the show ends before they finally hook up Myka and Pete, since their current relationship is great to watch.
Psych (USA Wednesdays 10pm): This show has probably "jumped the shark" but I still watch it for the characters. The cases are really sort of lame, but as long as you acknowledge that they're just excuses for the characters to be doing things, they're all right. James Roday--who has written, directed, and produced a surprising number of episodes--and Dule Hill (as "psychic" Shawn and his sidekick, nervous and uptight Gus) make me laugh every single episode. The screenwriters may be struggling for plots, but their dialogue never fails me. Carlton Omundson as the tightly-wound Detective Lassiter is also a treat. As long as you don't expect too much from this, it can be a highly entertaining hour of TV.
Hot in Cleveland (TVLand Wednesdays 10pm): This is an old-school sitcom, "Taped in front of a live studio audience" and all. It has all the typical sitcom cliches, but I have really been enjoying it. Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, and Wendie Malick star as three women from L.A. who decide to move to Cleveland on a whim. They rent a house that comes with a cantankerous caretaker (Betty White.) They suffer the usual travails of single women in their late 30s-early 40s as well as making the cultural adjustment from Hollywood to the Midwest. The women have good chemistry, and as cheesy as the situations are (blind dates, visiting parents, fashion disasters) it's still fun. Sort of Golden Girls for the new millennium.
Burn Notice (USA Thursdays 9pm): Burn Notice is back once again. This is another show that isn't nearly as innovative as it was in its early seasons, but it's still worth watching, if only for the performances of Jeffrey Donovan (whom I saw throw out the first pitch at a Red Sox game! Whoo!) and Bruce Campbell. Anything Bruce Campbell does is okay with me, really. This season, Michael is trying to chase down another giant dangerous conspiracy, with the help of Fiona and young spy Jesse (Coby Bell) whom--unbeknownst to him--Michael accidentally got burned. The question of course being how long Michael can keep his secret from Jesse while ostensibly helping him get his revenge. There hasn't been nearly enough of Sharon Gless as Michael's mother this season, but hopefully that will change.
Royal Pains (USA Thursdays 10pm): I am not sure why I watch this 'private doctor in the Hamptons serving quirky rich people' show, to be honest. I am generally not a fan of medical shows, but for some reason I enjoy this one. I think--as with most USA shows--I'm a fan of the characters, despite the slightly stupid situations they're often subjected to. USA really takes seriously their "Characters Welcome" slogan. While the plots of their shows aren't the greatest, I think as a channel the characters on their original programming are very enticing.
Project Runway (Lifetime Thursdays 8pm): Project Runway starts this Thursday and I am really excited, though not sure that expanding the episodes to 1.5 hours is a good idea. While I like to think we'll get more discussion of the process of designing and watching the designers struggle in the workroom with making their ideas into reality, then defending them on the runway, I have a sneaking suspicion it just means more time for cattiness and crying. They can cry...as long as they cut and cry.
Haven (SyFy Fridays 10pm): This one is not really very good. It's supposedly based on Stephen King's novel The Colorado Kid except it seems to have very little if anything to do with the book as I remember it. FBI agent Audrey Parker comes to small town of Haven for an investigation and decides to stay once she sees a photograph of a mysterious woman who could be her mother. Haven is a weird place full of very quirky locals where people can control the weather and music can drive sane people crazy and crazy people sane, and Audrey kind of digs the weird. She joins the local police force and is partnered with native son Nathan (son of the sheriff) who has a medical condition that doesn't allow him to feel pain. The two of them run around investigating weird happenings (according to locals, it's the return of "The Troubles") while Audrey tries to find out about her past. To be honest, I kind of only watch this for Eric Balfour--who plays town bad boy Duke Crocker--because as it turns out, at some point he got insanely skankiliciously hot. (When did that happen? Last I remember he was gawky and his head was too big and he sort of reminded me of Lurch with a bad goatee.) Anyway, it's another show that people who like sci-fi might like. Or people who like hot guys--Lucas Bryant, who plays Nathan, is fairly attractive as well--might like it too.
True Blood (HBO Sundays at 9): GODDAMN THIS SHOW IS EXCITING! LAFAYETTE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HIS DEAL IS AND TARA GOT KIDNAPPED BY AN INSANE VAMPIRE BUT SHE ESCAPED AFTER CLUBBING HIM OVER THE HEAD AND I THINK HE IS GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED WHEN HE WAKES UP AND THE KING OF MISSISSIPPI KILLED ERIC'S FAMILY AND HAS HIS FATHER'S CROWN ON DISPLAY WHICH IS KIND OF TACKY NOW ERIC'S OUT FOR REVENGE AND LORENA'S GOT BILL ALL TIED DOWN AND TORTURED AND SOOKIE IS STILL...WELL, VERY WHINY BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL GET IT TOGETHER SOON AND THE QUEEN IS IN A TIGHT SPOT AND SAM'S WHITE TRASH FAMILY ARE FIGHTING HIS BROTHER IN DOGFIGHTS AND JESSICA AND ARLENE SHOULD HAVE A SITCOM AND OKAY SO I TOTALLY FAST FORWARD THROUGH ALL THE JASON PARTS BECAUSE HE BORES ME AND THAT STORYLINE SHOULDN'T EVEN SHOW UP UNTIL BOOK FOUR AND NAZI WEREWOLVES WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO SAY?!?! *pantpantpantpant* It's not something that everyone will enjoy because really it's just a soap opera with vampires and werewolves and whatnot. However, I am simply mad for it because I am a goob. You should hear me yammering away at The Boyfriend when each episode ends. He tends to nod his head and back away slowly.
We also watch a rather stunning number of cooking shows--particularly Diners, Drive-ins, and & Dives (shout out to Minnesota Missy, who works on the show) and really anything else Guy Fieri is on, and several considerably nerdier cooking shows on PBS. Plus there's an endless parade of sports, plus new Futuramas.
On the whole, it's not a bad summer for TV. I'll be excited to see what's new in the fall but I'm not suffering any withdrawal so far!
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT Mondays 10pm): This isn't anything particularly special, but it's a competent procedural, and it's nice to see a show with females as the leads in this genre. I always liked Angie Harmon when she was on Law & Order, and Sasha Alexander was great during her stint on NCIS. The two of them are believable as friends, though they're only a few episodes in to the series and are still finding the characters' rhythm. I'm pleased to see Donnie Wahlberg working, since I think he is the less attractive but more talented of the Wahlberg brothers. Main distraction: every time Bruce McGill comes on screen I find myself squealing "D-Day!"
Memphis Beat (TNT Tuesdays 10pm): I'm still not sold on this one yet, but I'm giving it a chance. I like Jason Lee (despite the fact that he's a scientologist) and Alfre Woodard (remember when they played a couple in Mumford?). The cases are not particularly complicated, but they're enough to keep me watching. The side characters are funny, but I think may of them are under-utilized. Also, while I get the whole "Memphis" emphasis, sometimes the constant music cues get to be a little much. I'm not sure if this one is going to improve, since it could very well become extremely monotonous. It's not a "can't miss" but it's serviceable.
White Collar (USA Tuesdays 9pm): Con-man extraordinaire Neal Caffrey is back, and he is just as charming as ever. This season, the mystery of the music box continues, as well as Neal and Peter trying to figure out who killed Kate at the end of season one. The weekly cases are interesting and clever. Matt Bomer is really excellent in the role, and the interplay between him and Tim McKay (as FBI agent Peter Burke) continues to improve. Willie Garson is also still very funny as Neal's underworld friend Mozzie. I give this one a definite thumbs up.
Warehouse 13 (SyFy Tuesdays 9pm): Warehouse agents Myka and Pete are back, trying to keep society safe from the mysterious artifacts that belong in the Warehouse (think the place where the Ark of the Covenant went at the end of Indiana Jones...) Eccentric boss Artie, the mysterious Mrs. Frederic, and computer genius Claudia track artifacts all over the world. It's hard to explain, but for those who are into sci-fi, it's a fun little show. Not a "can't miss" but totally watchable. I just hope the show ends before they finally hook up Myka and Pete, since their current relationship is great to watch.
Psych (USA Wednesdays 10pm): This show has probably "jumped the shark" but I still watch it for the characters. The cases are really sort of lame, but as long as you acknowledge that they're just excuses for the characters to be doing things, they're all right. James Roday--who has written, directed, and produced a surprising number of episodes--and Dule Hill (as "psychic" Shawn and his sidekick, nervous and uptight Gus) make me laugh every single episode. The screenwriters may be struggling for plots, but their dialogue never fails me. Carlton Omundson as the tightly-wound Detective Lassiter is also a treat. As long as you don't expect too much from this, it can be a highly entertaining hour of TV.
Hot in Cleveland (TVLand Wednesdays 10pm): This is an old-school sitcom, "Taped in front of a live studio audience" and all. It has all the typical sitcom cliches, but I have really been enjoying it. Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves, and Wendie Malick star as three women from L.A. who decide to move to Cleveland on a whim. They rent a house that comes with a cantankerous caretaker (Betty White.) They suffer the usual travails of single women in their late 30s-early 40s as well as making the cultural adjustment from Hollywood to the Midwest. The women have good chemistry, and as cheesy as the situations are (blind dates, visiting parents, fashion disasters) it's still fun. Sort of Golden Girls for the new millennium.
Burn Notice (USA Thursdays 9pm): Burn Notice is back once again. This is another show that isn't nearly as innovative as it was in its early seasons, but it's still worth watching, if only for the performances of Jeffrey Donovan (whom I saw throw out the first pitch at a Red Sox game! Whoo!) and Bruce Campbell. Anything Bruce Campbell does is okay with me, really. This season, Michael is trying to chase down another giant dangerous conspiracy, with the help of Fiona and young spy Jesse (Coby Bell) whom--unbeknownst to him--Michael accidentally got burned. The question of course being how long Michael can keep his secret from Jesse while ostensibly helping him get his revenge. There hasn't been nearly enough of Sharon Gless as Michael's mother this season, but hopefully that will change.
Royal Pains (USA Thursdays 10pm): I am not sure why I watch this 'private doctor in the Hamptons serving quirky rich people' show, to be honest. I am generally not a fan of medical shows, but for some reason I enjoy this one. I think--as with most USA shows--I'm a fan of the characters, despite the slightly stupid situations they're often subjected to. USA really takes seriously their "Characters Welcome" slogan. While the plots of their shows aren't the greatest, I think as a channel the characters on their original programming are very enticing.
Project Runway (Lifetime Thursdays 8pm): Project Runway starts this Thursday and I am really excited, though not sure that expanding the episodes to 1.5 hours is a good idea. While I like to think we'll get more discussion of the process of designing and watching the designers struggle in the workroom with making their ideas into reality, then defending them on the runway, I have a sneaking suspicion it just means more time for cattiness and crying. They can cry...as long as they cut and cry.
Haven (SyFy Fridays 10pm): This one is not really very good. It's supposedly based on Stephen King's novel The Colorado Kid except it seems to have very little if anything to do with the book as I remember it. FBI agent Audrey Parker comes to small town of Haven for an investigation and decides to stay once she sees a photograph of a mysterious woman who could be her mother. Haven is a weird place full of very quirky locals where people can control the weather and music can drive sane people crazy and crazy people sane, and Audrey kind of digs the weird. She joins the local police force and is partnered with native son Nathan (son of the sheriff) who has a medical condition that doesn't allow him to feel pain. The two of them run around investigating weird happenings (according to locals, it's the return of "The Troubles") while Audrey tries to find out about her past. To be honest, I kind of only watch this for Eric Balfour--who plays town bad boy Duke Crocker--because as it turns out, at some point he got insanely skankiliciously hot. (When did that happen? Last I remember he was gawky and his head was too big and he sort of reminded me of Lurch with a bad goatee.) Anyway, it's another show that people who like sci-fi might like. Or people who like hot guys--Lucas Bryant, who plays Nathan, is fairly attractive as well--might like it too.
True Blood (HBO Sundays at 9): GODDAMN THIS SHOW IS EXCITING! LAFAYETTE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND WHO KNOWS WHAT HIS DEAL IS AND TARA GOT KIDNAPPED BY AN INSANE VAMPIRE BUT SHE ESCAPED AFTER CLUBBING HIM OVER THE HEAD AND I THINK HE IS GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED WHEN HE WAKES UP AND THE KING OF MISSISSIPPI KILLED ERIC'S FAMILY AND HAS HIS FATHER'S CROWN ON DISPLAY WHICH IS KIND OF TACKY NOW ERIC'S OUT FOR REVENGE AND LORENA'S GOT BILL ALL TIED DOWN AND TORTURED AND SOOKIE IS STILL...WELL, VERY WHINY BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL GET IT TOGETHER SOON AND THE QUEEN IS IN A TIGHT SPOT AND SAM'S WHITE TRASH FAMILY ARE FIGHTING HIS BROTHER IN DOGFIGHTS AND JESSICA AND ARLENE SHOULD HAVE A SITCOM AND OKAY SO I TOTALLY FAST FORWARD THROUGH ALL THE JASON PARTS BECAUSE HE BORES ME AND THAT STORYLINE SHOULDN'T EVEN SHOW UP UNTIL BOOK FOUR AND NAZI WEREWOLVES WHAT MORE DO I HAVE TO SAY?!?! *pantpantpantpant* It's not something that everyone will enjoy because really it's just a soap opera with vampires and werewolves and whatnot. However, I am simply mad for it because I am a goob. You should hear me yammering away at The Boyfriend when each episode ends. He tends to nod his head and back away slowly.
We also watch a rather stunning number of cooking shows--particularly Diners, Drive-ins, and & Dives (shout out to Minnesota Missy, who works on the show) and really anything else Guy Fieri is on, and several considerably nerdier cooking shows on PBS. Plus there's an endless parade of sports, plus new Futuramas.
On the whole, it's not a bad summer for TV. I'll be excited to see what's new in the fall but I'm not suffering any withdrawal so far!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Random Thoughts & Cannonball Read #25
So it's been a while, huh? It's not that I haven't been reading, it's just that I got really tired of blogging about what I'm reading...particularly since so much of it is so very similar. Instead of talking about books, I think I'm going to talk a little about TV and other miscellaneous stuff. 'Cause I love TV.
1. Band of Brothers: I watched the entire mini-series when they replayed it on HBO, and I have to say it's one of the best things I've seen on television since Deadwood. The acting, the scripting, the effects, the cinematography, the pacing--everything about it was completely gripping. Damian Lewis (whom I have liked a lot ever since the prematurely cancelled Life) was perfect, and every other actor in the series was spot-on. There wasn't a single person involved that I could point to and say "Oh, he was overacting" or "He seemed like he wasn't on the same level as everyone else." The whole thing was so well put together. It actually drove me to see out the book Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose (Cannonball Read 2 #25)--which showed me just how great the adaptation was. The testimony from the actual soldiers was clearly the main source of material, which is probably why the show felt so authentic. It was amazing to me that anyone at all managed to survive in those kinds of circumstances, let alone thrive and come back to their regular lives in the States to function as normal parts of society. Flabbergasting, really. I highly recommend that anyone who hasn't seen this show go out and get hold of a copy immediately--it's only 10 episodes, and well worth the 10 hours of your time.
2. The Pacific: On a related note, I've started watching HBO's new WWII show. I'm only one episode in, and frankly thus far I'm a little disappointed. Instead of beginning with training, we're given a short and somewhat cliched exposure to a few of the main characters and then are thrown directly into battle. There's been almost no chance to learn the characters' names or anything about them, which I don't like. However, I also understand that due to the nature of the historical fact--the Marines were basically thrown into battle in short time because they were the only group ready for immediate deployment--this is an accurate portrayal. I'm hoping that as time goes by I'll be able to enjoy the show on its own merits rather than constantly comparing it to Band of Brothers.
3. Boardwalk Empire: This one hasn't started yet, and isn't due until fall, but I'm already really excited. HBO seems to have a knack for period dramas, and when you combine the 20s and gangsters and Steve Buscemi, I feel like it will be very difficult to go wrong. I'm also pleased to see Michael Pitt getting some work, since he's put in great performances everywhere I've seen him, even if the movie itself was crap (i.e. Murder by Numbers).
4. Life: This new Discovery Channel mini-series is what HD was designed for. To be honest, they should have just called it "Look at This Neat Nature Shit We Filmed" since the show isn't really composed all that well and I could certainly live without the Oprah narration. Still, nature's amazing and really, I'm all for watching animals do weird things or be adorable or whatever.
5. Justified: I'm not sure how I feel about this new FX show yet. I am always happy to see Timothy Olyphant, particularly if he's wearing a cowboy hat and shooting people. However, I'm not entirely sure whether I actually buy the premise or the characters. I think the neo-Nazi leader and his hapless sidekicks have potential, and I also like slightly-wacky-husband-shooter chick. I think this show may take a little time to find its groove. Luckily, as long as they continue to give me some Olyphant every week, I'll keep watching.
6. USA Network: I am not sure who is handling programming at USA, but whomever it is deserves a bonus and a hot fudge sundae. For the past few years, they have been putting out some really great new shows--Psych, Burn Notice, and most recently White Collar) and putting them on television during those times during the year when all other new programming is on hiatus (summer and December/January). They've done some great work, and their whole "Characters Welcome" advertising campaign is pretty great. If you don't watch any of these shows, you should check them out. They're fun, not too serious, and completely entertaining.
7. Jeopardy!: It's still on, and I still kick ass at it.
Miscellany A: I got some little bongo drums and have been rocking the hell out of them. Nothing relieves the stress of a long day at the salt mine like pulling out the drums, cranking the iTunes to 11 and banging away along with the Village People's "Go West" or The Band's "Get Up Jake".
Miscellany B: My dear friend Bundt Cake had her baby this past weekend. I'm not sure I like the fact that my college friends are now doing the whole "baby" thing (it seems this whole marriage adulthood thing is not going away any time soon) but I also find that it's really really fun to buy baby clothes. This could become a bad habit...
Miscellany C: I now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 Stephen King books. Luckily, I think I'm finally going to be in a position to get to Ikea and buy a nice new shelf. Then I'll have space to organize all my King books and all my Sookie books instead of having them piled everywhere like some kind of tornado-stricken lending library.
Miscellany D: My mother and I have been working on tracking some of the family genealogy. Turns out we have a relative we can track all the way back to 1700. His grandson was a member of George Washington's personal guard. Also, it turns out I'm part Welsh/Cornish, which I didn't know. We're tracking Pop's service record to try and figure out which ships he served on during WWII. (See above for recent interest in WWII.) Apparently Pop didn't talk about the war at all, though my great uncle told us a story about how the ship Pop was on got sunk, and the Navy sent Pop's seabag they'd fished out of the wreckage home to great-grandma--implying he'd been killed in the sinking--only to discover like 2 weeks later that he'd be evacuated to Australia for a ruptured appendix and hadn't even been on the ship when it sank. I'd be very interested to know which ship that was, since fewer ships than you'd think actually were sunk during the war. Maybe I'm missing a disaster book!
1. Band of Brothers: I watched the entire mini-series when they replayed it on HBO, and I have to say it's one of the best things I've seen on television since Deadwood. The acting, the scripting, the effects, the cinematography, the pacing--everything about it was completely gripping. Damian Lewis (whom I have liked a lot ever since the prematurely cancelled Life) was perfect, and every other actor in the series was spot-on. There wasn't a single person involved that I could point to and say "Oh, he was overacting" or "He seemed like he wasn't on the same level as everyone else." The whole thing was so well put together. It actually drove me to see out the book Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose (Cannonball Read 2 #25)--which showed me just how great the adaptation was. The testimony from the actual soldiers was clearly the main source of material, which is probably why the show felt so authentic. It was amazing to me that anyone at all managed to survive in those kinds of circumstances, let alone thrive and come back to their regular lives in the States to function as normal parts of society. Flabbergasting, really. I highly recommend that anyone who hasn't seen this show go out and get hold of a copy immediately--it's only 10 episodes, and well worth the 10 hours of your time.
2. The Pacific: On a related note, I've started watching HBO's new WWII show. I'm only one episode in, and frankly thus far I'm a little disappointed. Instead of beginning with training, we're given a short and somewhat cliched exposure to a few of the main characters and then are thrown directly into battle. There's been almost no chance to learn the characters' names or anything about them, which I don't like. However, I also understand that due to the nature of the historical fact--the Marines were basically thrown into battle in short time because they were the only group ready for immediate deployment--this is an accurate portrayal. I'm hoping that as time goes by I'll be able to enjoy the show on its own merits rather than constantly comparing it to Band of Brothers.
3. Boardwalk Empire: This one hasn't started yet, and isn't due until fall, but I'm already really excited. HBO seems to have a knack for period dramas, and when you combine the 20s and gangsters and Steve Buscemi, I feel like it will be very difficult to go wrong. I'm also pleased to see Michael Pitt getting some work, since he's put in great performances everywhere I've seen him, even if the movie itself was crap (i.e. Murder by Numbers).
4. Life: This new Discovery Channel mini-series is what HD was designed for. To be honest, they should have just called it "Look at This Neat Nature Shit We Filmed" since the show isn't really composed all that well and I could certainly live without the Oprah narration. Still, nature's amazing and really, I'm all for watching animals do weird things or be adorable or whatever.
5. Justified: I'm not sure how I feel about this new FX show yet. I am always happy to see Timothy Olyphant, particularly if he's wearing a cowboy hat and shooting people. However, I'm not entirely sure whether I actually buy the premise or the characters. I think the neo-Nazi leader and his hapless sidekicks have potential, and I also like slightly-wacky-husband-shooter chick. I think this show may take a little time to find its groove. Luckily, as long as they continue to give me some Olyphant every week, I'll keep watching.
6. USA Network: I am not sure who is handling programming at USA, but whomever it is deserves a bonus and a hot fudge sundae. For the past few years, they have been putting out some really great new shows--Psych, Burn Notice, and most recently White Collar) and putting them on television during those times during the year when all other new programming is on hiatus (summer and December/January). They've done some great work, and their whole "Characters Welcome" advertising campaign is pretty great. If you don't watch any of these shows, you should check them out. They're fun, not too serious, and completely entertaining.
7. Jeopardy!: It's still on, and I still kick ass at it.
Miscellany A: I got some little bongo drums and have been rocking the hell out of them. Nothing relieves the stress of a long day at the salt mine like pulling out the drums, cranking the iTunes to 11 and banging away along with the Village People's "Go West" or The Band's "Get Up Jake".
Miscellany B: My dear friend Bundt Cake had her baby this past weekend. I'm not sure I like the fact that my college friends are now doing the whole "baby" thing (it seems this whole marriage adulthood thing is not going away any time soon) but I also find that it's really really fun to buy baby clothes. This could become a bad habit...
Miscellany C: I now have somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 Stephen King books. Luckily, I think I'm finally going to be in a position to get to Ikea and buy a nice new shelf. Then I'll have space to organize all my King books and all my Sookie books instead of having them piled everywhere like some kind of tornado-stricken lending library.
Miscellany D: My mother and I have been working on tracking some of the family genealogy. Turns out we have a relative we can track all the way back to 1700. His grandson was a member of George Washington's personal guard. Also, it turns out I'm part Welsh/Cornish, which I didn't know. We're tracking Pop's service record to try and figure out which ships he served on during WWII. (See above for recent interest in WWII.) Apparently Pop didn't talk about the war at all, though my great uncle told us a story about how the ship Pop was on got sunk, and the Navy sent Pop's seabag they'd fished out of the wreckage home to great-grandma--implying he'd been killed in the sinking--only to discover like 2 weeks later that he'd be evacuated to Australia for a ruptured appendix and hadn't even been on the ship when it sank. I'd be very interested to know which ship that was, since fewer ships than you'd think actually were sunk during the war. Maybe I'm missing a disaster book!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Cannonball Read 2 #8: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
Dead Until Dark is the first of the Sookie Stackhouse series, better known as the basis for HBO's show True Blood. I started watching the show earlier this year and became absolutely hooked on it. Dead Until Dark introduces the characters and the world (and is the basis for season 1 of the show.)
Sookie is a waitress in the small town of Bon Temps, Louisiana. She is a pretty girl who lives with her grandmother, and is mostly normal except for the fact that she is telepathic. Being able to read the minds of others has made her life especially complicated, keeping her from being able to date or have any real close friends. In Sookie's world, vampires are real, have just come "out of the coffin" and are trying to join mainstream society. Most of them either drink synthetic blood or feed from willing hosts, however many "normal" people are still fearful or distrusting. One day, a vampire named Bill walks into Merlotte's, the bar where Sookie works, and sets in motion a series of events that will change her life forever.
To me, this book is the literary equivalent of pork rinds: They contain absolutely no nutritional value, are mostly air and fat, are embarrassing to be seen eating, but ohhh mmmm delicious...where did that whole bag go? This is a trashy mystery/romance novel with vampires--I'd guess it's like Twilight except there is a bunch of steamy sex and Sookie isn't a wishy-washy dishrag of a human. I enjoyed the characters and the settings, and I found Sookie's voice engaging (benefit over the show: you don't have to hear Anna Paquin trill "Biiiiiiiiiiill" over and over in a tone strangely similar to having a dental drill applied directly to your eardrum.) I am extremely anxious to get hold of the next books in the series and can't wait to read the further adventures of Sookie: Psychic Waitress.
Sookie is a waitress in the small town of Bon Temps, Louisiana. She is a pretty girl who lives with her grandmother, and is mostly normal except for the fact that she is telepathic. Being able to read the minds of others has made her life especially complicated, keeping her from being able to date or have any real close friends. In Sookie's world, vampires are real, have just come "out of the coffin" and are trying to join mainstream society. Most of them either drink synthetic blood or feed from willing hosts, however many "normal" people are still fearful or distrusting. One day, a vampire named Bill walks into Merlotte's, the bar where Sookie works, and sets in motion a series of events that will change her life forever.
To me, this book is the literary equivalent of pork rinds: They contain absolutely no nutritional value, are mostly air and fat, are embarrassing to be seen eating, but ohhh mmmm delicious...where did that whole bag go? This is a trashy mystery/romance novel with vampires--I'd guess it's like Twilight except there is a bunch of steamy sex and Sookie isn't a wishy-washy dishrag of a human. I enjoyed the characters and the settings, and I found Sookie's voice engaging (benefit over the show: you don't have to hear Anna Paquin trill "Biiiiiiiiiiill" over and over in a tone strangely similar to having a dental drill applied directly to your eardrum.) I am extremely anxious to get hold of the next books in the series and can't wait to read the further adventures of Sookie: Psychic Waitress.
Friday, November 6, 2009
This American Life
Okay, I do not listen to NPR. I know I should--I know that it's probably full of really important things that would boost my hipster cred, solidify my proud liberal stance, and make me a significantly better person--but I just can't seem to do it. I have tried, I swear, but...I get so bored. When I listen to the radio, I don't really want to be edified. I want to dance around my kitchen and sing "Don't stop believin'!" at the top of my lungs or do a really embarrassing dance to Britney Spears. I am part of the generation about whom Kurt Cobain sang, "Here we are now--entertain us!" I don't know, I guess I feel the same way about NPR as I do about dark chocolate: there are lots of reasons I should like it, on paper it's perfect, lots of people I admire and respect like it...I just happen to hate it.
However, I thought maybe my problem was that I don't like listening to things. I can't listen to books on tape for the same reason: I can't focus. Perhaps if I watched the show it would be better. So the other night I sat down and checked out the first three episodes of "This American Life" via Netflix OnDemand (I have to say, as a side note--that service is pretty cool. Even though not EVERY movie and show Netflix has is available OnDemand, there are enough shows to keep you busy when you are sick of watching frigging sports). I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
The idea of the show is that each episode has some kind of theme. Ira Glass sits at his desk in some random location and explains to us in nasal tones what the theme is going to be and what the stories of the day are. It appears there is usually a short intro story, and then two longer acts to follow. They're like human interest stories wrapped up in philosophical musings and broader contexts. The story of the family with the cloned bull is not just about this one family and this one bull--it's about the ethics of cloning, about the expectations involved, and about how long you should wait before you admit that something you dreamed of is not going to come true the way you thought it would. The story of the elderly assisted-living home residents who wrote and produced a movie is not just about that group, but about the question of when is it too late to start life over? When do you have to give up on your dreams and resign yourself to the downward spiral of age?
On the whole, the show was interesting (if somewhat more depressing than I would have liked). I am not sure I'd say I exactly enjoyed it, but if the conversations I had with The Boyfriend later are indication, it's certainly an informative and socially conscious show. Like peas vs. potato chips, while "This American Life" is never going to beat out "Survivor" on my DVR rankings, I definitely think it'd be good for me to watch again.
However, I thought maybe my problem was that I don't like listening to things. I can't listen to books on tape for the same reason: I can't focus. Perhaps if I watched the show it would be better. So the other night I sat down and checked out the first three episodes of "This American Life" via Netflix OnDemand (I have to say, as a side note--that service is pretty cool. Even though not EVERY movie and show Netflix has is available OnDemand, there are enough shows to keep you busy when you are sick of watching frigging sports). I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
The idea of the show is that each episode has some kind of theme. Ira Glass sits at his desk in some random location and explains to us in nasal tones what the theme is going to be and what the stories of the day are. It appears there is usually a short intro story, and then two longer acts to follow. They're like human interest stories wrapped up in philosophical musings and broader contexts. The story of the family with the cloned bull is not just about this one family and this one bull--it's about the ethics of cloning, about the expectations involved, and about how long you should wait before you admit that something you dreamed of is not going to come true the way you thought it would. The story of the elderly assisted-living home residents who wrote and produced a movie is not just about that group, but about the question of when is it too late to start life over? When do you have to give up on your dreams and resign yourself to the downward spiral of age?
On the whole, the show was interesting (if somewhat more depressing than I would have liked). I am not sure I'd say I exactly enjoyed it, but if the conversations I had with The Boyfriend later are indication, it's certainly an informative and socially conscious show. Like peas vs. potato chips, while "This American Life" is never going to beat out "Survivor" on my DVR rankings, I definitely think it'd be good for me to watch again.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Things I Love on TV
Warning: I watch a lot of TV. Probably significantly more than is healthy. Here are three things that I currently enjoy watching in no particular order.
1. PTI (Pardon The Interruption): This is a sports show that is on ESPN five days a week. The hosts, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon (sports columnists) discuss the sports topics of the day in a timed format. They usually have headlines, a 5-minute interview with a guest, and some "games" (for example "Role Play" where they ask either other questions, and have to answer in the persona of a sports star or celebrity) or viewer mail. Both men are quite knowledgeable and also humorous. It's a great way to catch up on the important sports stories of the day while still being entertained. This is also one of the few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy.
2. America's Next Top Model: Starbucks Queen and I are both obsessed with this terrible reality show brought to us by the largest ego on the planet, Tyra Banks. It has absolutely no redeeming social value, but every season is still hilarious in its formulaic stupidity. Besides, as I say every time this comes up, who doesn't like to see pretty girls cry?
3. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Boyfriend dragged me to this show kicking and screaming, but I've come to find it increasingly hilarious. The characters (some 30-somethings and Danny DeVito) are some of the most despicable human beings--they are all really terrible people--but watching them do stupid things and be mean to each other and those around them is unbelievably funny. Danny DeVito is the most disgusting person on TV right now, and he's fabulous. It took me a few episodes to really warm to the show, but now I love it. The episode "The Nightman Cometh" (which the cast actually took on tour around the country during the summer) is quite possibly one of the most entertaining things I've seen on TV in ages.
In other news, I am very conflicted, as I do not want the Yankees to win the World Series (YANKEES SUCK!) but I am also very sick of baseball and want the damn thing to be over already. Boo.
1. PTI (Pardon The Interruption): This is a sports show that is on ESPN five days a week. The hosts, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon (sports columnists) discuss the sports topics of the day in a timed format. They usually have headlines, a 5-minute interview with a guest, and some "games" (for example "Role Play" where they ask either other questions, and have to answer in the persona of a sports star or celebrity) or viewer mail. Both men are quite knowledgeable and also humorous. It's a great way to catch up on the important sports stories of the day while still being entertained. This is also one of the few shows that The Boyfriend and I both enjoy.
2. America's Next Top Model: Starbucks Queen and I are both obsessed with this terrible reality show brought to us by the largest ego on the planet, Tyra Banks. It has absolutely no redeeming social value, but every season is still hilarious in its formulaic stupidity. Besides, as I say every time this comes up, who doesn't like to see pretty girls cry?
3. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Boyfriend dragged me to this show kicking and screaming, but I've come to find it increasingly hilarious. The characters (some 30-somethings and Danny DeVito) are some of the most despicable human beings--they are all really terrible people--but watching them do stupid things and be mean to each other and those around them is unbelievably funny. Danny DeVito is the most disgusting person on TV right now, and he's fabulous. It took me a few episodes to really warm to the show, but now I love it. The episode "The Nightman Cometh" (which the cast actually took on tour around the country during the summer) is quite possibly one of the most entertaining things I've seen on TV in ages.
In other news, I am very conflicted, as I do not want the Yankees to win the World Series (YANKEES SUCK!) but I am also very sick of baseball and want the damn thing to be over already. Boo.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Movies Movies Movies!
It was kind of a big movie weekend, because after the party Friday night, I was sort of blah for the whole weekend. I watched a couple movies, and figured I'd talk about them here for my post of the day.
Kung Fu Panda: I'm a sucker for movies like this, but the darn thing really WAS hilarious. The Boyfriend and I laughed until the tears ran down our faces, then laughed more. The animation was amazing, and Jack Black was really perfect for the role of hapless panda Po. Sometimes Black can overshadow the character he's playing, but here he was just awesome. I was also happy to spot the ever-delicioso Ian McShane as the voice of the villain. (I kind of wish I could get Ian McShane's voice as hold music--I am on hold a lot, and I'd happily sit patiently if I could listen to him talk about whatever. He could read the phonebook and I'd be delighted.) The story of a fat panda becoming a mighty warrior worked well, and the humor was good for kids, but adults will have no problem enjoying it either. Two thumbs up.
This Filthy World: John Waters's one-man show was also hilarious. He talks a lot about the making of his movies, his opinions on the state of the world, and general observations on life. It's probably not for the right-wing crowd (discussions of gay life, drugs, and rampant, deliberate moral corruption would probably give those people immediate aneurysms) but I thought it was funny all the way through.
An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder: I have not seen the first Evening With Kevin Smith, though I have heard a lot of good things. I think he probably used his best material there, but this was still very funny if you're a fan. (If you're not a fan, you might as well just skip it.) This nearly two-hour show in Toronto gives Smith a chance to answer more audience questions and generally digress into various funny tangents. Although there were moments where it dragged a bit, or got a little uncomfortable, I mostly enjoyed it. His rambling explanation of watching Dora the Explorer made me laugh until I snorted. Jay Mewes also makes a cameo appearance, which made me squee. I wouldn't pay to watch it, but if it's free OnDemand or Netflix InstantWatch it's a good way to waste some time and have a few laughs.
Constantine: First of all, I have to point out that while The Boyfriend has a VIOLENT dislike of Keanu Reeves and all of his performances, I don't mind the guy. I think Keanu is very pretty, and while he isn't the best actor out there, it's not like he's casting himself in these movies, a la Kevin Costner. If he's miscast, it is NOT his fault. Also, the guy has had a kind of tough life (best friend ODs right in front of him, baby dies, fiance is killed shortly after in a car wreck) and I figure the fact that he mostly keeps to himself and behaves instead of being a giant Hollywood douchebag says a lot for him. That said, while this performance was not the best ever committed to film, and while there are probably several actors who could have done a better job, it was not awful. I liked the premise, and the climactic ending was pretty awesome. Peter Stormare is fantastic as the devil, and any time THE SWINTON appears I am always intrigued. Rachel Weisz was all right (though I am biased because I LOVED her in the Mummy movies) though when I saw Gavin Rossdale I was like "Really? There were no REAL actors available that day? Not a single lowly SAG member could be found to play the part?" On the whole, it's kind of a stupid movie, but no stupider than Max Payne, and at least Keanu Reeves doesn't come off as a tremendous asshole.
Smoke Signals: This is a movie about two young Native American men in the Pacific Northwest who go on a journey together when the father of one of them dies. It's a quiet little story. The acting isn't perfect, although the guy who plays Thomas Builds-the-Fire--the oddball of the pairing-- was excellent. Adam Beach, who played the more socially normal of the two, displayed considerably more range and talent than he did during his brief stint on SVU...which isn't a whole lot, to be honest. (At least he's pretty...) The story and dialogue are interesting, funny, and touching in places. It's the first film I've seen about modern day Native Americans, teenagers in particular. It's apparently based on a story by famed Native American author Sherman Alexie called "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven." Although it's not entertaining as much as thought provoking, and the indie-ness of the movie is more obvious than I'd prefer, I'd definitely recommend this one.
Also, the new show on USA--White Collar--is pretty good. I don't know who is running USA, but they seem to have figured out the perfect formula for light, fun, entertaining television. I mean, I love crime shows, but lately SVU seems to be gunning for some kind of "most miserable and depression show on television" award (along with giving Richard Belzer and Ice-T a criminally teensy amount of screen time), CSI is kind of a scattered mess, Bones is constantly being bumped for stupid baseball (it is ridiculous to me that ALL FOUR major sports are in season at the same time), and NCIS (which is a GOOD SHOW, PAJIBA OVERLORDS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DEFEND IT! Well, not the new one with LL Cool J--that one sucks sweaty monkey balls) can't do it all alone. In the same vein as Psych and Burn Notice, USA has managed to make White Collar a pleasant, serviceable, and entertaining hour of TV.
For anyone who was wondering, I ended up going with Miss Piggy for Halloween. Although I wasn't entirely sure when I put it on, the photos are fantastic, and judging from the reactions of others at the party, I think it was a very good choice. :)
Kung Fu Panda: I'm a sucker for movies like this, but the darn thing really WAS hilarious. The Boyfriend and I laughed until the tears ran down our faces, then laughed more. The animation was amazing, and Jack Black was really perfect for the role of hapless panda Po. Sometimes Black can overshadow the character he's playing, but here he was just awesome. I was also happy to spot the ever-delicioso Ian McShane as the voice of the villain. (I kind of wish I could get Ian McShane's voice as hold music--I am on hold a lot, and I'd happily sit patiently if I could listen to him talk about whatever. He could read the phonebook and I'd be delighted.) The story of a fat panda becoming a mighty warrior worked well, and the humor was good for kids, but adults will have no problem enjoying it either. Two thumbs up.
This Filthy World: John Waters's one-man show was also hilarious. He talks a lot about the making of his movies, his opinions on the state of the world, and general observations on life. It's probably not for the right-wing crowd (discussions of gay life, drugs, and rampant, deliberate moral corruption would probably give those people immediate aneurysms) but I thought it was funny all the way through.
An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder: I have not seen the first Evening With Kevin Smith, though I have heard a lot of good things. I think he probably used his best material there, but this was still very funny if you're a fan. (If you're not a fan, you might as well just skip it.) This nearly two-hour show in Toronto gives Smith a chance to answer more audience questions and generally digress into various funny tangents. Although there were moments where it dragged a bit, or got a little uncomfortable, I mostly enjoyed it. His rambling explanation of watching Dora the Explorer made me laugh until I snorted. Jay Mewes also makes a cameo appearance, which made me squee. I wouldn't pay to watch it, but if it's free OnDemand or Netflix InstantWatch it's a good way to waste some time and have a few laughs.
Constantine: First of all, I have to point out that while The Boyfriend has a VIOLENT dislike of Keanu Reeves and all of his performances, I don't mind the guy. I think Keanu is very pretty, and while he isn't the best actor out there, it's not like he's casting himself in these movies, a la Kevin Costner. If he's miscast, it is NOT his fault. Also, the guy has had a kind of tough life (best friend ODs right in front of him, baby dies, fiance is killed shortly after in a car wreck) and I figure the fact that he mostly keeps to himself and behaves instead of being a giant Hollywood douchebag says a lot for him. That said, while this performance was not the best ever committed to film, and while there are probably several actors who could have done a better job, it was not awful. I liked the premise, and the climactic ending was pretty awesome. Peter Stormare is fantastic as the devil, and any time THE SWINTON appears I am always intrigued. Rachel Weisz was all right (though I am biased because I LOVED her in the Mummy movies) though when I saw Gavin Rossdale I was like "Really? There were no REAL actors available that day? Not a single lowly SAG member could be found to play the part?" On the whole, it's kind of a stupid movie, but no stupider than Max Payne, and at least Keanu Reeves doesn't come off as a tremendous asshole.
Smoke Signals: This is a movie about two young Native American men in the Pacific Northwest who go on a journey together when the father of one of them dies. It's a quiet little story. The acting isn't perfect, although the guy who plays Thomas Builds-the-Fire--the oddball of the pairing-- was excellent. Adam Beach, who played the more socially normal of the two, displayed considerably more range and talent than he did during his brief stint on SVU...which isn't a whole lot, to be honest. (At least he's pretty...) The story and dialogue are interesting, funny, and touching in places. It's the first film I've seen about modern day Native Americans, teenagers in particular. It's apparently based on a story by famed Native American author Sherman Alexie called "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven." Although it's not entertaining as much as thought provoking, and the indie-ness of the movie is more obvious than I'd prefer, I'd definitely recommend this one.
Also, the new show on USA--White Collar--is pretty good. I don't know who is running USA, but they seem to have figured out the perfect formula for light, fun, entertaining television. I mean, I love crime shows, but lately SVU seems to be gunning for some kind of "most miserable and depression show on television" award (along with giving Richard Belzer and Ice-T a criminally teensy amount of screen time), CSI is kind of a scattered mess, Bones is constantly being bumped for stupid baseball (it is ridiculous to me that ALL FOUR major sports are in season at the same time), and NCIS (which is a GOOD SHOW, PAJIBA OVERLORDS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DEFEND IT! Well, not the new one with LL Cool J--that one sucks sweaty monkey balls) can't do it all alone. In the same vein as Psych and Burn Notice, USA has managed to make White Collar a pleasant, serviceable, and entertaining hour of TV.
For anyone who was wondering, I ended up going with Miss Piggy for Halloween. Although I wasn't entirely sure when I put it on, the photos are fantastic, and judging from the reactions of others at the party, I think it was a very good choice. :)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tidbits
It may be a while until I get my next Cannonball Read done, since I have tasked myself with reading Lord of the Rings. I am more than halfway through Fellowship of the Ring right now, which--after starting off fairly slowly--has become a lot more interesting. (I can see why the Tolkien purists got all pissed off about the movie, though. I love the movies, but they're pretty different.) I figure while you wait I'd collect a few thoughts for your amusement.
1. It took me all of five minutes to realize I was going to hate National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which I subjected myself to on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have taken me that long to hate it, but I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. However, once they screwed up the Lincoln assassination, though, nothing they did was going to be right so it didn't matter. Probably didn't help that the plot was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen committed to film. Did they let Jon Voight write that himself or something?
2. I watched the majority of Sydney White and was far more entertained than I feel I should have been.
3. Happened to catch Steel Magnolias on the WE channel. I don't know why I watch that movie--it always makes me bawl--but I can't pass it by if I see that it's on. I think it's just that I love Dolly Parton and Shirley McClaine. I feel as though lunch with those two would be the most hilarious meal of your life.
4. We are all VERY excited that America's Best Dance Crew is back on TV. I have been driving The Boyfriend nuts with my attempts to pop, lock, dip, tut, and New Jack Swing. (In case you hadn't guessed, I am not going to be qualifying for ABDC any time soon.) Starbucks Queen (our roommate) and I watch the episodes at least twice, and pay very close attention to the critiques. Also to what host L'il Mama is wearing, because sometimes her outfits are totally worth the price of admission (i.e. last season when she showed up for one episode in a bejeweled little hat, looking like a villainous stewardess.) The Boyfriend enjoys it because although it's a reality show, it showcases people for having talent, not just for being douchebags. Speaking of having talent-- Project Runway starts this week! Yaaaaaaay! And speaking of being douchebags...the new cycle of America's Next Top Model should be starting soon as well. Wheee!
5. And now for a new feature I like to call "Bork Bork Bork: Cooking with The Caustic Critic". This time, we're going with The Boyfriend's sister's taco salad, which is strangely delicious.
Dorito Chips (I used Nacho)
1 pkg Taco Seasoning
1 pound hamburger
Head of lettuce
Two tomatoes
Shredded Cheese or a block you can cube up! (I a block of sharp cheddar, but you could Monterrey Jack, too.)
Catalina dressing
A. Fry up the hamburger. Mix in the taco seasoning based on the taco seasoning directions. Allow to completely cool.
B. Cut up the lettuce. Quarter the tomatoes and remove all the seeds then dice into small pieces. Add the cheese. Once the hamburger is completely cooled add to the salad. Once you're ready to serve the salad mix in the Catalina dressing to taste. You can add the Dorito chips right into salad or you can serve it the way we do--take a handful of chips out of the bag, crumble slightly, and put on your plate as a bed for the salad. If you don't mix the chips directly into the main salad, you don't have to worry about the leftovers being full of soggy chips.
6. This whole insane heat-wave thing has got to end. I moved to Boston because I thought being several hundred miles north and near the ocean would mean cooler summers. Apparently I was the stupid one. I am now wondering how much a summer home in Svalbard will cost. I really need to make friends with someone who has a pool if this keeps going on...
7. Is anyone else out there watching True Blood? That show is f-ing crazy! There's always something going down, and usually they throw in a hot shirtless guy to sweeten the deal. Okay, yeah, the main character can be a little annoying, but with all that's been going on around her, who's to say I wouldn't be somewhat annoying in the same circumstances?
8. My therapist disappeared. I hadn't seen her since October, admittedly, but when I called the other day I got a "This phone has been disconnected" message. It kind of freaks me out.
9. I really just don't care about Brett Favre, okay? Would everyone please stop shoving him down my throat for five minutes? He should have retired three years ago--he could have gone out totally beloved and been a HERO in Green Bay. Instead he's this whiny, weepy jackass who can't make up his damn mind. Though who cares about my opinion--as far as football players go, if he's not Wes Welker I really don't care. (He's preeeeeeeeetty...)
1. It took me all of five minutes to realize I was going to hate National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which I subjected myself to on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't have taken me that long to hate it, but I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. However, once they screwed up the Lincoln assassination, though, nothing they did was going to be right so it didn't matter. Probably didn't help that the plot was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen committed to film. Did they let Jon Voight write that himself or something?
2. I watched the majority of Sydney White and was far more entertained than I feel I should have been.
3. Happened to catch Steel Magnolias on the WE channel. I don't know why I watch that movie--it always makes me bawl--but I can't pass it by if I see that it's on. I think it's just that I love Dolly Parton and Shirley McClaine. I feel as though lunch with those two would be the most hilarious meal of your life.
4. We are all VERY excited that America's Best Dance Crew is back on TV. I have been driving The Boyfriend nuts with my attempts to pop, lock, dip, tut, and New Jack Swing. (In case you hadn't guessed, I am not going to be qualifying for ABDC any time soon.) Starbucks Queen (our roommate) and I watch the episodes at least twice, and pay very close attention to the critiques. Also to what host L'il Mama is wearing, because sometimes her outfits are totally worth the price of admission (i.e. last season when she showed up for one episode in a bejeweled little hat, looking like a villainous stewardess.) The Boyfriend enjoys it because although it's a reality show, it showcases people for having talent, not just for being douchebags. Speaking of having talent-- Project Runway starts this week! Yaaaaaaay! And speaking of being douchebags...the new cycle of America's Next Top Model should be starting soon as well. Wheee!
5. And now for a new feature I like to call "Bork Bork Bork: Cooking with The Caustic Critic". This time, we're going with The Boyfriend's sister's taco salad, which is strangely delicious.
Dorito Chips (I used Nacho)
1 pkg Taco Seasoning
1 pound hamburger
Head of lettuce
Two tomatoes
Shredded Cheese or a block you can cube up! (I a block of sharp cheddar, but you could Monterrey Jack, too.)
Catalina dressing
A. Fry up the hamburger. Mix in the taco seasoning based on the taco seasoning directions. Allow to completely cool.
B. Cut up the lettuce. Quarter the tomatoes and remove all the seeds then dice into small pieces. Add the cheese. Once the hamburger is completely cooled add to the salad. Once you're ready to serve the salad mix in the Catalina dressing to taste. You can add the Dorito chips right into salad or you can serve it the way we do--take a handful of chips out of the bag, crumble slightly, and put on your plate as a bed for the salad. If you don't mix the chips directly into the main salad, you don't have to worry about the leftovers being full of soggy chips.
6. This whole insane heat-wave thing has got to end. I moved to Boston because I thought being several hundred miles north and near the ocean would mean cooler summers. Apparently I was the stupid one. I am now wondering how much a summer home in Svalbard will cost. I really need to make friends with someone who has a pool if this keeps going on...
7. Is anyone else out there watching True Blood? That show is f-ing crazy! There's always something going down, and usually they throw in a hot shirtless guy to sweeten the deal. Okay, yeah, the main character can be a little annoying, but with all that's been going on around her, who's to say I wouldn't be somewhat annoying in the same circumstances?
8. My therapist disappeared. I hadn't seen her since October, admittedly, but when I called the other day I got a "This phone has been disconnected" message. It kind of freaks me out.
9. I really just don't care about Brett Favre, okay? Would everyone please stop shoving him down my throat for five minutes? He should have retired three years ago--he could have gone out totally beloved and been a HERO in Green Bay. Instead he's this whiny, weepy jackass who can't make up his damn mind. Though who cares about my opinion--as far as football players go, if he's not Wes Welker I really don't care. (He's preeeeeeeeetty...)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Quick Update: Reality TV Ate My Brain
I HAVE been reading, I swear. I have, like, four books I've finished and not blogged about yet because I am a lazy slacker. I promise I will do that soon. I will also watch movies soon for a little variety. Lately I have just been too wrapped up in Tool Academy, Rock of Love Bus, America's Best Dance Crew, America's Next Top Model, and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition to accomplish anything of value. Have you seen these shows? The first three are productions of VH1/MTV, so you can imagine the quality therein. Let me give you a brief overview:
1. Tool Academy is a competition between "toolish" dudes, who were tricked into the process by their girlfriends (the guys were told they were coming to compete in a "Mr. Awesome" competition. Some never quite gave up the idea that if they would just keep at it they'd be crowned Mr. Awesome.) The idea is to teach these lying, cheating, self-absorbed douchebags to be better boyfriends/people. I'm not quite sure about the therapist they used--she's really not up to the Dr. Drew standard...I somehow doubt Dr. Drew would endorse role-playing with sock puppets or using lie-detectors as solid therapeutic methods. On the whole, they met with varying levels of success. Although they made some progress with some of these guys, they never touched on one of the major issues, which is to try and get them to stop LOOKING like tools. I mean, seriously, you should have seen some of these jerks...particularly one who had a haircut ostensibly modeled on an angry cockatoo. Also one who intentionally called himself "Matsuflex." Ridiculous. On the upside, the nice couple actually won, which was a little shocking.
2. Rock of Love Bus is one of the bastard children spawned by VH1's surprise hit Flavor of Love. Basically it's a dating show for a washed up celeb, in this case Bret Michaels of the hair-band Poison. Now, I happen to be a fan of Poison, but sometimes this show just makes me very...hmm, I was going to say "angry" but I think that "nauseated" is really a better word. First of all, I find it slightly bewildering the way Bret tries to play himself off as a southern good ol' boy. He is from Allentown, PA, which is NOT the south. It's not even really Pennsyltucky. It's closer to Philly than anything, really. And that's clearly not the south. Secondly, where do they find these psychotic sluts? And where do the psychotic sluts buy their clothes? I mean, these are not outfits you can find in your local Macy's. One had a dress that was basically three strips of tinfoil that seemed to be glued together at the crotch...where do you BUY something like that? Even more frightening is the fact that half these women have CHILDREN. And yet they have chosen to put on their giant Lucite stripper heels and 32lbs of makeup and giant fake boobs and hop in a bus to travel across the country waving their hoo-has at a guy with fake hair? (Despite my seeming disgust, The Roommate and I TOTALLY dig this show. We sit on the edge of our seats, waiting for someone to pull someone's weave or throw something or spit on somebody. Last week, we actually were jumping around and hollering when one skanky sexbot threw an entire jar of salsa into another's suitcase. Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket indeed.)
3. America's Best Dance Crew is a straight up competition, and it's actually really interesting and entertaining. The stunts some of these crews pulled off were CRAZY. The Boyfriend enjoys shows like this wherein the contestants actually have to ACCOMPLISH something. Unfortunately, this show infected me with a horrible case of Kanye West earworm, which I can't seem to shake. The Roommate suggests the only cure is tequila, but I'm still hoping it'll go away by itself if I keep inundating it with Poison. Love lockdown, lockdown...Damn You, Kanye!
4. If you are unfamiliar with America's Next Top Model, you have probably been living under a rock for the past several years. That's okay, let me explain: It is supposedly a modeling competition, except half the girls are fundamentally ineligible to be real, successful models, the photo-shoots and challenges are a joke, and it's mostly a vehicle for Tyra Banks's unbelievably ginormous ego. Once again, there's a lot of fighting and crying, and since most of the girls are not terribly bright, they often come out with some verbal gaffes that have me falling off my chair. If you can handle the multiple occasions that are simply opportunities for Tyra to talk about Tyra and Tyra's career and Tyra's mom and Tyra's Sports Illustrated cover and Tyra's experiences as a young model and Tyra's hardships and Tyra's talk show (I usually deal with these via the magic of DVR fast-forward) the show can be totally hilarious. Plus, I'm a mean person and I kind of enjoy seeing pretty girls have their dreams crushed. There. I said it.
5. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is really the only one of these shows that has any redeeming social value whatsoever. Basically, the team of designers (captained by the hyper-active but oddly endearing Ty Pennington) seek out nice people who have very hard-luck stories and then build them a new house. Some examples I've seen include a police officer who was shot and paralyzed in the line of duty receiving a house that was accessible to her, an Army medic who lost his leg in Iraq (but continues to train field medics) getting a home accessible for him, and numerous very lovely people with very sick children getting house that can accommodate them better. It's just kind of a great show to watch when you're starting to feel like the entire world is populated solely with assholes...yes, you'll probably cry (they shovel on the sentiment pretty hot and heavy) but in the end they do some really spectacular stuff for people who really need it. Plus, the houses are craaaaaaaazy awesome usually.
All right, this has all been sort of embarrassing. I really will update soon with something much more intellectual, I SWEAR.
1. Tool Academy is a competition between "toolish" dudes, who were tricked into the process by their girlfriends (the guys were told they were coming to compete in a "Mr. Awesome" competition. Some never quite gave up the idea that if they would just keep at it they'd be crowned Mr. Awesome.) The idea is to teach these lying, cheating, self-absorbed douchebags to be better boyfriends/people. I'm not quite sure about the therapist they used--she's really not up to the Dr. Drew standard...I somehow doubt Dr. Drew would endorse role-playing with sock puppets or using lie-detectors as solid therapeutic methods. On the whole, they met with varying levels of success. Although they made some progress with some of these guys, they never touched on one of the major issues, which is to try and get them to stop LOOKING like tools. I mean, seriously, you should have seen some of these jerks...particularly one who had a haircut ostensibly modeled on an angry cockatoo. Also one who intentionally called himself "Matsuflex." Ridiculous. On the upside, the nice couple actually won, which was a little shocking.
2. Rock of Love Bus is one of the bastard children spawned by VH1's surprise hit Flavor of Love. Basically it's a dating show for a washed up celeb, in this case Bret Michaels of the hair-band Poison. Now, I happen to be a fan of Poison, but sometimes this show just makes me very...hmm, I was going to say "angry" but I think that "nauseated" is really a better word. First of all, I find it slightly bewildering the way Bret tries to play himself off as a southern good ol' boy. He is from Allentown, PA, which is NOT the south. It's not even really Pennsyltucky. It's closer to Philly than anything, really. And that's clearly not the south. Secondly, where do they find these psychotic sluts? And where do the psychotic sluts buy their clothes? I mean, these are not outfits you can find in your local Macy's. One had a dress that was basically three strips of tinfoil that seemed to be glued together at the crotch...where do you BUY something like that? Even more frightening is the fact that half these women have CHILDREN. And yet they have chosen to put on their giant Lucite stripper heels and 32lbs of makeup and giant fake boobs and hop in a bus to travel across the country waving their hoo-has at a guy with fake hair? (Despite my seeming disgust, The Roommate and I TOTALLY dig this show. We sit on the edge of our seats, waiting for someone to pull someone's weave or throw something or spit on somebody. Last week, we actually were jumping around and hollering when one skanky sexbot threw an entire jar of salsa into another's suitcase. Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket indeed.)
3. America's Best Dance Crew is a straight up competition, and it's actually really interesting and entertaining. The stunts some of these crews pulled off were CRAZY. The Boyfriend enjoys shows like this wherein the contestants actually have to ACCOMPLISH something. Unfortunately, this show infected me with a horrible case of Kanye West earworm, which I can't seem to shake. The Roommate suggests the only cure is tequila, but I'm still hoping it'll go away by itself if I keep inundating it with Poison. Love lockdown, lockdown...Damn You, Kanye!
4. If you are unfamiliar with America's Next Top Model, you have probably been living under a rock for the past several years. That's okay, let me explain: It is supposedly a modeling competition, except half the girls are fundamentally ineligible to be real, successful models, the photo-shoots and challenges are a joke, and it's mostly a vehicle for Tyra Banks's unbelievably ginormous ego. Once again, there's a lot of fighting and crying, and since most of the girls are not terribly bright, they often come out with some verbal gaffes that have me falling off my chair. If you can handle the multiple occasions that are simply opportunities for Tyra to talk about Tyra and Tyra's career and Tyra's mom and Tyra's Sports Illustrated cover and Tyra's experiences as a young model and Tyra's hardships and Tyra's talk show (I usually deal with these via the magic of DVR fast-forward) the show can be totally hilarious. Plus, I'm a mean person and I kind of enjoy seeing pretty girls have their dreams crushed. There. I said it.
5. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is really the only one of these shows that has any redeeming social value whatsoever. Basically, the team of designers (captained by the hyper-active but oddly endearing Ty Pennington) seek out nice people who have very hard-luck stories and then build them a new house. Some examples I've seen include a police officer who was shot and paralyzed in the line of duty receiving a house that was accessible to her, an Army medic who lost his leg in Iraq (but continues to train field medics) getting a home accessible for him, and numerous very lovely people with very sick children getting house that can accommodate them better. It's just kind of a great show to watch when you're starting to feel like the entire world is populated solely with assholes...yes, you'll probably cry (they shovel on the sentiment pretty hot and heavy) but in the end they do some really spectacular stuff for people who really need it. Plus, the houses are craaaaaaaazy awesome usually.
All right, this has all been sort of embarrassing. I really will update soon with something much more intellectual, I SWEAR.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Did They Actually PAINT Someone?: F-Troop
I was so excited when I saw that the show F-Troop had finally been released on DVD. I remember watching it on Nick @ Nite with my grandparents, and in my memory it was a hilarious show. Why, I wondered, had it taken this long to get released? Why wasn't it still being shown on TVland or late at night on the Western Channel or something?
I ordered it from Netflix and anxiously awaited my chance to reconnect with something from my childhood.
Then, the DVD arrived, and I suddenly realized why the show had all but disappeared.
The show is about a western fort sometime during the civil war era. The commanding officer is typically clueless, and his underlings get up to all sorts of shenanagins under his nose. Nothing wrong with that, right? The first indication of a problem comes during the theme song (an infectious little ditty, written in the days when shows had theme songs that actually provided information about the show.)
The end of the Civil War was near,
When quite accidentally,
A hero who sneezed, abruptly seized
Retreat and reversed it to victory.
His medal of honor pleased and thrilled
His proud little family group.
While pinning it on, some blood was spilled,
And so it was planned he'd command...F-Troop!
Where Indian fights are colorful sights
And nobody takes a lickin',
Where paleface and redskin
Both turn chicken.
I ordered it from Netflix and anxiously awaited my chance to reconnect with something from my childhood.
Then, the DVD arrived, and I suddenly realized why the show had all but disappeared.
The show is about a western fort sometime during the civil war era. The commanding officer is typically clueless, and his underlings get up to all sorts of shenanagins under his nose. Nothing wrong with that, right? The first indication of a problem comes during the theme song (an infectious little ditty, written in the days when shows had theme songs that actually provided information about the show.)
The end of the Civil War was near,
When quite accidentally,
A hero who sneezed, abruptly seized
Retreat and reversed it to victory.
His medal of honor pleased and thrilled
His proud little family group.
While pinning it on, some blood was spilled,
And so it was planned he'd command...F-Troop!
Where Indian fights are colorful sights
And nobody takes a lickin',
Where paleface and redskin
Both turn chicken.
Oops...redskin? I am pretty sure they're not referring to the football team here. And once the "redskins" arrive on screen, it's apparent why this show is rarely shown: every single Native American character is a painted white guy. The first episode on the DVD featured Don Rickles painted brown, running around and screaming about scalping people. Although the Hakawi tribe are stereotypical in some ways, they often seem to get the better of their stupid white comrades at Fort Courage. However, while it may have been okay in 1965 to paint men brown and stick feathers on their heads to play Native Americans, it's pretty uncomfortable today.
The strange thing is that except for the parts involving the Heckawis, the show is still pretty funny in that slap-sticky 60s sitcom kind of way. Ken Berry's portrayal of Captain Parmenter (who was cheerful but totally oblivious and invariably clumsy) is fantastic, and Forrest Tucker and Larry Storch nail their roles as the slick Sargeant O'Roake and his bumbling sidekick Corporal Agarn. Storch in particular is hilarious--his generation's rubber-faced version of Jim Carrey, only with less screaming. Unfortunately, I just couldn't enjoy it as I used to because the Heckawi issue made me so uncomfortable. I'm not usually a person who is much concerned with political correctness and am often the one pointing out that you have to take things in their context or remember that it's only a show, but even after telling myself that it was made in the 1960s before people knew any better, it was still just a little too gross.
Very disappointing over all--I didn't even finish out the episodes on the disk.
I am going to hope that some of the other shows I remember fondly from my days watching Nick @ Nite hold up better.
Friday, July 27, 2007
A Letter to Bobby Flay
Dear Bobby Flay,
I hope that one night soon Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain pull you into a dark alley and kick the ever-loving shit out of you.
CC
P.S. Putting three different variations of chipotle sauce on a dish does not make it interesting. It just makes you a pretentious douchebag.
I hope that one night soon Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain pull you into a dark alley and kick the ever-loving shit out of you.
CC
P.S. Putting three different variations of chipotle sauce on a dish does not make it interesting. It just makes you a pretentious douchebag.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
A Letter to CBS
Dear CBS,
Please stop putting your characters into comas. On three of my favorite shows on your network, three characters were all in comas this week. CSI, in fact, has two of their three homicide detectives (Brass of Vegas and Flack [the HOTTEST of the CSI crews] of NYC) are currently in potentially lethal comas. Also Gibbs of NCIS was in a coma, though he came out of it only to retire. Did you suddenly decide these actors were too expensive? Did they all suddenly decide they wanted to quit and have movie careers (frankly, only one of the three has a possibility there, and previously his only real film role was as the goalie in 'Miracle')? What is the DEAL? Look, finale season is stressful enough, what with all the VERY TENSE DRAMATIC DRAMA and the knowing that I have to wait until fall (FALL!) for the resumption of good television. The least you could do is stop fucking killing people left and right. Thank you.
Sincerely,
CC
P.S. I am VERY displeased with the results of Survivor. Aras sucks.
Please stop putting your characters into comas. On three of my favorite shows on your network, three characters were all in comas this week. CSI, in fact, has two of their three homicide detectives (Brass of Vegas and Flack [the HOTTEST of the CSI crews] of NYC) are currently in potentially lethal comas. Also Gibbs of NCIS was in a coma, though he came out of it only to retire. Did you suddenly decide these actors were too expensive? Did they all suddenly decide they wanted to quit and have movie careers (frankly, only one of the three has a possibility there, and previously his only real film role was as the goalie in 'Miracle')? What is the DEAL? Look, finale season is stressful enough, what with all the VERY TENSE DRAMATIC DRAMA and the knowing that I have to wait until fall (FALL!) for the resumption of good television. The least you could do is stop fucking killing people left and right. Thank you.
Sincerely,
CC
P.S. I am VERY displeased with the results of Survivor. Aras sucks.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
The Caustic Critic's Fall Television Awards '05
So there are a handful of interesting new shows, several shows I'm discovering for the first time, and some beloved classics with new twists this fall. I've been meaning to discuss them for quite some time (notice how we're, like a full month into the fall season) but I haven't had the time previous to this. But now I have all the time in the world and a lot to say about the appalling number of television hours I watch. (God bless the DVR--without it...I'd probably have to get a hobby or something.)
Best New Show: Criminal Minds on CBS">This is yet another crime show, this time revolving around a group of FBI profilers led by Mandy Patinkin (you know, the guy in the cholesterol drug commercial who walks down the spiral staircase...oh, he was also Inigo Montoya--you killed his father, prepare to die.) There's nothing particularly new here--just a team made up of different personalities who investigate and track down dangerous criminals. However, I think the writing and characterization put this particular show in the "Best New" slot. I especially like the young genius, Patinkin's protege (Matthew Guy Gubler, previously seen as "Intern #1 in Life Aquatic.) He's nervous, geeky, too-smart-for-his-own-good, and--in my opinion--totally endearing. I also dig the developing friendly-flirty relationship between the departmental playboy (Shemar Moore) and the chunky but AWESOME tech (Kirsten Vangsness.) I feel like the writing on this show puts it above some of the others currently on TV, taking the time to develop characters and work in actual science and current techniques instead of just trying to draw the viewer with gory corpses and giant explosions (not saying that they don't have some of that, too, but it's not the focal point.) The only drawback is Thomas Gibson's wooden portrayal of the head agent. He sucked on Dharma and Greg and he still sucks now.
Worst New Show: Wanted on TNT > I was going to put Head Cases in this slot, but since I only watched ten minutes of the pilot and then it was cancelled after only two episodes, I figured it was already obvious to everyone that it sucked. Therefore, Wanted gets the award. Everything that's great about Criminal Minds is what sucks about this show. There were some attempts to develop the characters, but mostly those got bogged down in stereotypes and the main character's annoying interaction with his bitchy ex-wife and lame kids. (I have strange preference when it comes to my crime shows--I want to see the characters' personalities, but I don't want to be in their houses. I want to see how their personalities affect and motivate them ON THE JOB. I don't care what goes on at home--especially if it involves some miserable harpy.) I kept waiting for this show to get good--I watched it every week, the whole hour, hoping that maybe THIS week, it was going to finally figure out what the hell was going on. The cast seemed promising: Gary Cole of Office Space, Lee Tergesen (the very talented man behind the much loved Beecher from Oz), and Ryan Hurst, seen most recently in The Ladykillers. However, no amount of talent or effort on these poor beleagered actors' parts can make up for terrible writing and gimmicky editing. In a script littered with lame cliches, gratuitious violence, unneccessary explosions, and appalling police techniques, filmed in a style rife with lurching, jumpy cuts and pointless filters, these actors don't stand a chance. There were a bare few redeeming points that made the show watchable--the performance of Hurst as an ATF agent trying to find a way to reconcile his Christian faith with his job tracking down the worst and most evil members of society while keeping his own dark secrets under wrap is definitely a high point. Another is the surprisingly low-key and amusing performance of Josey Scott (lead singer of Saliva) as a pierced-tongue techno-geek. In conclusion, I spent an entire season of a show waiting for it to get good, and I was seriously disappointed.
Still Not Sure Just How I Feel About It New Show: Ghost Whisperer on CBS >Pros: Sometimes interesting plots, some real tearjerkers, interesting concept, Aisha Tyler can be funny. Cons: Jennifer Love Hewitt, some really lame plots, Aisha Tyler was better on CSI, Jennifer Love Hewitt's ridiculous wardrobe full of symbolic white flowy dresses, the fact that she helps all these people all the time in her small town, but every time something happens she has to explain yet again that she can talk to spirits and no one ever believes her, did I mention how much I hate Jennifer Love Hewitt?
Best Show I've Recently Discovered: Numb3rs on CBS > You know a show is good when it can make ME care about...MATH. Yes, math. The premise of the show is that an FBI agent (Rob Morrow, best known for his outstanding performance as Dr. Fleishman on Northern Exposure) who, when a case is really giving him trouble, calls on his brother Charlie (David Krumholtz, the nerd who got the dick drawn on his face in Ten Things I Hate About You) who is a math genius. Charlie then teams up with his eccentric and hilarious colleague Larry (Peter McNichol of Ally McBeal fame) to use math to help solve crimes. I know it sounds a little like Mathnet, but trust me, it's not. Do you know how remote-controlled car locks work? No? Me either, until I watched an episode of this show and Charlie explained it. The characterization is great--the dynamics between the two brothers (the rivalry, the competition, and yet still the affection), their relationship with their father (Judd Hirsch of Taxi), their relationships with women (yes, there is personal life in this show, but it's actually surprisingly interesting), and of course their feelings about the crimes themselves. In addition, there are two great female roles on this show (something not often seen in crime shows). Don's partner is a tough talking detective who seems to be developing a soft spot for the geeky Larry, and Charlie's grad student/assistant Amita is a brilliant Indian woman who may or may not have the hots for Charlie. I wouldn't usually endorse anything having to do with math, but I think this is a must-see for math geeks and regular people alike.
Runner-Up: Cold Case on CBS > Okay, yes, it's another crime show. But I love them, so leave me alone, all right? Good. This is another one that has pretty good writing (though it occasionally comes dangerously close to being corny). I haven't watched it enough to see the characters be that fleshed out, but what I've seen so far has been acceptable. The focus in each episode is on the case (as it should be) and I enjoy the way these cases unfold, usually through witness flashbacks. I'm not so sure about the gimmick of showing characters at their current age and sometimes flashing to them in their current setting but as themselves at the time of the crime. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't--if the crime happened when the character was a teenager in 1970, then the flashback makes sense, but if it happened three years ago, it seems kind of ridiculous (of course, I suppose you have remain consistant with gimmicks like that.) However, I very much appreciate that they consistantly use music from the year the crime happened throughout the episode--it definitely helps to put the viewer in the proper context. The main character is pleasant but kind of annoying in her good-hearted earnestness, but the other members of her team--cynical older veteran detectives, a hunky yet sensitive detective, and now a new, enthusiastic young female detective even things out a bit. Also, the final montage which revisits all the players in that episode's story (flashing both their present and past forms) and then the appearence of the victim at the end is pretty hokey, not to mention suspiciously long.
Best New Twist in an Old Show: Law & Order: Criminal Intent on NBC > I can sum it up in one sentence fragment: Chris Noth as Detective Mike Logan. I loved him ten years ago when he was on the original, and I still love him now.
Worst New Twist in an Old Show: Law & Order on NBC > I realize that this is actually a twist that happened last season, but I am still pissed off: Detective Fontana sucks. He's annoying and obnoxious and if you think he is Lenny Briscoe-alike, let me tell you something: I remember Lenny, and he is NO LENNY. I realize that Jerry Orbach (God rest his soul) had to be replaced. However, Dennis Farina (Cousin Avi in Snatch--and this character is so similar it's almost frightening) is NOT the proper replacement. Not to mention that he's kind of crooked and hello, I am so not interested in his "mysterious and shady" past. Also, I dislike the new ADA--I had just gotten used to the last one. Okay, I am picky about this show, but it's my most consistanly watched show since I was about 11--it's like a part of the family.
Best New Reality Show: The Apprentice: Martha Stewart > It's kind of comforting to realize that this is pretty much the only "new" reality show this season. (I'd like to point out that Hell's Kitchen, which was on during the summer season was MUCH MUCH better--mostly because Gordon Ramsay is just totally AWESOME--but unfortunately doesn't really qualify for this award. However, when it comes on again [whenever that is] you should definitely watch it.) This version of The Apprentice makes a lot more sense to me than the original did. The tasks seem to at least sort be connected to what Martha Stewart does--each episode has a "Martha Lesson" so there is some kind of focus for the teams to build their project around. They have also had tasks that seemed like real jobs and less like sheer publicity stunts (writing a children's book, decorating a themed hotel suite). There is of course the usual mix of interesting/charming/annoying/crazy people to keep the dynamics interesting (I'm rooting for Howie, but that's just me.) Plus, you all are aware of how I feel about Martha. She can pretty much do no wrong as far as I'm concerned, so I'm interested in seeing (even a skewed view of) how she runs her business. Plus, she's a lot less creepy than "The Donald", and I really dig the chilly little notes she writes to those booted off.
Best New Season of an Old Reality Show: Survivor: Guatemala on CBS > First of all, the season began with the survivors doing a 24-hour, 11 mile hike through the Guatemalan jungle followed by a canoe race just to determine where each tribe would be living. Apparently, the cries from viewers that the past few seasons were "too easy" were heard by Burnett and crew. This season has been the most difficult I've seen since I began watching Survivor. The challenges have been very difficult, and the tribal switch-up in the most recent episode has definitely kept everyone on their toes. I will say that bringing back Stef and Bobby Jon from last season seems a little contrived, but I can't complain too much, as they were my favorites. Of course, Stef has become less "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" and more "I am Woman, Hear Me Whine", but BJ is still awesome, if not particularly classy or intelligent. I'm anxious to see how the alliances will shake out. So far, Stef's bad luck cloud hasn't abated, and the tribes have been voting off those who are perceived as weak or lazy. It's still too early for much individual strategizing, but I figure BJ won't last too long once that happens, since he has until this point survived on sheer brute strengh and bullish determination. The Boyfriend and I watch this together every week and during the commercial we discuss what's going to happen, what people might do, and what we'd do if faced with the same situation. It's probably one of my favorite parts of the week, so I suppose I could be biased toward this show just a bit.
Best Guilty Pleasure Reality Show: America's Next Top Model on UPN > There's nothing quite like watching a bunch of vapid chicks compete against each other at bizarre and totally random tasks. The sub-plots are obviously heavily edited, the shoots are usually extremely ridiculous ("Now we're going to dress you up entirely in pompoms, paint your face orange, hook you up to this camel, blow sand and wind at you with this giant fan, and then fly you and the camel through the air on a cable in front of a green screen--now look sexy!") and the girls tend to be amazingly stupid. However, watching them begin to frazzle and start to break down and attack each other is a lot of fun. I always pick the wrong one to root for (as I've mentioned before, it's always the tall, awkward, small-town girl who is confused about her sexuality and incapable of walking in heels) but it's interesting to see who gains weight, who has a total breakdown, who hates her make-over, who gets sick, who gets ostracized, who quits, who lasts and who doesn't. I will admit that I find both of the Js somewhat annoying (though Miss J's Esther Williams get-up was a high-light of last week's episode and Mr. J actually gave useful advice during the photo shoot, which was probably a first...) and that Twiggy--fashion icon or no--is inutterably dull when compared to the clinically insane Janice Dickinson. Oh, and Nigel is cute, but he still creeps me out just a little.
So there you have it--the picks and pans of the Fall 2005 schedule. This list (with the exception of Survivor) is made up of the shows that I tend to record and watch when The Boyfriend is either busy or at work, so this is purely my opinion. Were you to ask him, he'd likely say that ALL of these (except the previously mentioned) totally suck. There are of course some great fall-backs, as well as some shows (Scrubs, Arrested Development) that I always mean to watch and dont, some that I end up watching whether I like it or not (Celebrity Poker, World Poker Tour, Poker Superstars,), and some that we watch regularly together (Simpsons, Family Guy, Good Eats, Pardon the Interruption, Hockey).
Best New Show: Criminal Minds on CBS">This is yet another crime show, this time revolving around a group of FBI profilers led by Mandy Patinkin (you know, the guy in the cholesterol drug commercial who walks down the spiral staircase...oh, he was also Inigo Montoya--you killed his father, prepare to die.) There's nothing particularly new here--just a team made up of different personalities who investigate and track down dangerous criminals. However, I think the writing and characterization put this particular show in the "Best New" slot. I especially like the young genius, Patinkin's protege (Matthew Guy Gubler, previously seen as "Intern #1 in Life Aquatic.) He's nervous, geeky, too-smart-for-his-own-good, and--in my opinion--totally endearing. I also dig the developing friendly-flirty relationship between the departmental playboy (Shemar Moore) and the chunky but AWESOME tech (Kirsten Vangsness.) I feel like the writing on this show puts it above some of the others currently on TV, taking the time to develop characters and work in actual science and current techniques instead of just trying to draw the viewer with gory corpses and giant explosions (not saying that they don't have some of that, too, but it's not the focal point.) The only drawback is Thomas Gibson's wooden portrayal of the head agent. He sucked on Dharma and Greg and he still sucks now.
Worst New Show: Wanted on TNT > I was going to put Head Cases in this slot, but since I only watched ten minutes of the pilot and then it was cancelled after only two episodes, I figured it was already obvious to everyone that it sucked. Therefore, Wanted gets the award. Everything that's great about Criminal Minds is what sucks about this show. There were some attempts to develop the characters, but mostly those got bogged down in stereotypes and the main character's annoying interaction with his bitchy ex-wife and lame kids. (I have strange preference when it comes to my crime shows--I want to see the characters' personalities, but I don't want to be in their houses. I want to see how their personalities affect and motivate them ON THE JOB. I don't care what goes on at home--especially if it involves some miserable harpy.) I kept waiting for this show to get good--I watched it every week, the whole hour, hoping that maybe THIS week, it was going to finally figure out what the hell was going on. The cast seemed promising: Gary Cole of Office Space, Lee Tergesen (the very talented man behind the much loved Beecher from Oz), and Ryan Hurst, seen most recently in The Ladykillers. However, no amount of talent or effort on these poor beleagered actors' parts can make up for terrible writing and gimmicky editing. In a script littered with lame cliches, gratuitious violence, unneccessary explosions, and appalling police techniques, filmed in a style rife with lurching, jumpy cuts and pointless filters, these actors don't stand a chance. There were a bare few redeeming points that made the show watchable--the performance of Hurst as an ATF agent trying to find a way to reconcile his Christian faith with his job tracking down the worst and most evil members of society while keeping his own dark secrets under wrap is definitely a high point. Another is the surprisingly low-key and amusing performance of Josey Scott (lead singer of Saliva) as a pierced-tongue techno-geek. In conclusion, I spent an entire season of a show waiting for it to get good, and I was seriously disappointed.
Still Not Sure Just How I Feel About It New Show: Ghost Whisperer on CBS >Pros: Sometimes interesting plots, some real tearjerkers, interesting concept, Aisha Tyler can be funny. Cons: Jennifer Love Hewitt, some really lame plots, Aisha Tyler was better on CSI, Jennifer Love Hewitt's ridiculous wardrobe full of symbolic white flowy dresses, the fact that she helps all these people all the time in her small town, but every time something happens she has to explain yet again that she can talk to spirits and no one ever believes her, did I mention how much I hate Jennifer Love Hewitt?
Best Show I've Recently Discovered: Numb3rs on CBS > You know a show is good when it can make ME care about...MATH. Yes, math. The premise of the show is that an FBI agent (Rob Morrow, best known for his outstanding performance as Dr. Fleishman on Northern Exposure) who, when a case is really giving him trouble, calls on his brother Charlie (David Krumholtz, the nerd who got the dick drawn on his face in Ten Things I Hate About You) who is a math genius. Charlie then teams up with his eccentric and hilarious colleague Larry (Peter McNichol of Ally McBeal fame) to use math to help solve crimes. I know it sounds a little like Mathnet, but trust me, it's not. Do you know how remote-controlled car locks work? No? Me either, until I watched an episode of this show and Charlie explained it. The characterization is great--the dynamics between the two brothers (the rivalry, the competition, and yet still the affection), their relationship with their father (Judd Hirsch of Taxi), their relationships with women (yes, there is personal life in this show, but it's actually surprisingly interesting), and of course their feelings about the crimes themselves. In addition, there are two great female roles on this show (something not often seen in crime shows). Don's partner is a tough talking detective who seems to be developing a soft spot for the geeky Larry, and Charlie's grad student/assistant Amita is a brilliant Indian woman who may or may not have the hots for Charlie. I wouldn't usually endorse anything having to do with math, but I think this is a must-see for math geeks and regular people alike.
Runner-Up: Cold Case on CBS > Okay, yes, it's another crime show. But I love them, so leave me alone, all right? Good. This is another one that has pretty good writing (though it occasionally comes dangerously close to being corny). I haven't watched it enough to see the characters be that fleshed out, but what I've seen so far has been acceptable. The focus in each episode is on the case (as it should be) and I enjoy the way these cases unfold, usually through witness flashbacks. I'm not so sure about the gimmick of showing characters at their current age and sometimes flashing to them in their current setting but as themselves at the time of the crime. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't--if the crime happened when the character was a teenager in 1970, then the flashback makes sense, but if it happened three years ago, it seems kind of ridiculous (of course, I suppose you have remain consistant with gimmicks like that.) However, I very much appreciate that they consistantly use music from the year the crime happened throughout the episode--it definitely helps to put the viewer in the proper context. The main character is pleasant but kind of annoying in her good-hearted earnestness, but the other members of her team--cynical older veteran detectives, a hunky yet sensitive detective, and now a new, enthusiastic young female detective even things out a bit. Also, the final montage which revisits all the players in that episode's story (flashing both their present and past forms) and then the appearence of the victim at the end is pretty hokey, not to mention suspiciously long.
Best New Twist in an Old Show: Law & Order: Criminal Intent on NBC > I can sum it up in one sentence fragment: Chris Noth as Detective Mike Logan. I loved him ten years ago when he was on the original, and I still love him now.
Worst New Twist in an Old Show: Law & Order on NBC > I realize that this is actually a twist that happened last season, but I am still pissed off: Detective Fontana sucks. He's annoying and obnoxious and if you think he is Lenny Briscoe-alike, let me tell you something: I remember Lenny, and he is NO LENNY. I realize that Jerry Orbach (God rest his soul) had to be replaced. However, Dennis Farina (Cousin Avi in Snatch--and this character is so similar it's almost frightening) is NOT the proper replacement. Not to mention that he's kind of crooked and hello, I am so not interested in his "mysterious and shady" past. Also, I dislike the new ADA--I had just gotten used to the last one. Okay, I am picky about this show, but it's my most consistanly watched show since I was about 11--it's like a part of the family.
Best New Reality Show: The Apprentice: Martha Stewart > It's kind of comforting to realize that this is pretty much the only "new" reality show this season. (I'd like to point out that Hell's Kitchen, which was on during the summer season was MUCH MUCH better--mostly because Gordon Ramsay is just totally AWESOME--but unfortunately doesn't really qualify for this award. However, when it comes on again [whenever that is] you should definitely watch it.) This version of The Apprentice makes a lot more sense to me than the original did. The tasks seem to at least sort be connected to what Martha Stewart does--each episode has a "Martha Lesson" so there is some kind of focus for the teams to build their project around. They have also had tasks that seemed like real jobs and less like sheer publicity stunts (writing a children's book, decorating a themed hotel suite). There is of course the usual mix of interesting/charming/annoying/crazy people to keep the dynamics interesting (I'm rooting for Howie, but that's just me.) Plus, you all are aware of how I feel about Martha. She can pretty much do no wrong as far as I'm concerned, so I'm interested in seeing (even a skewed view of) how she runs her business. Plus, she's a lot less creepy than "The Donald", and I really dig the chilly little notes she writes to those booted off.
Best New Season of an Old Reality Show: Survivor: Guatemala on CBS > First of all, the season began with the survivors doing a 24-hour, 11 mile hike through the Guatemalan jungle followed by a canoe race just to determine where each tribe would be living. Apparently, the cries from viewers that the past few seasons were "too easy" were heard by Burnett and crew. This season has been the most difficult I've seen since I began watching Survivor. The challenges have been very difficult, and the tribal switch-up in the most recent episode has definitely kept everyone on their toes. I will say that bringing back Stef and Bobby Jon from last season seems a little contrived, but I can't complain too much, as they were my favorites. Of course, Stef has become less "I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" and more "I am Woman, Hear Me Whine", but BJ is still awesome, if not particularly classy or intelligent. I'm anxious to see how the alliances will shake out. So far, Stef's bad luck cloud hasn't abated, and the tribes have been voting off those who are perceived as weak or lazy. It's still too early for much individual strategizing, but I figure BJ won't last too long once that happens, since he has until this point survived on sheer brute strengh and bullish determination. The Boyfriend and I watch this together every week and during the commercial we discuss what's going to happen, what people might do, and what we'd do if faced with the same situation. It's probably one of my favorite parts of the week, so I suppose I could be biased toward this show just a bit.
Best Guilty Pleasure Reality Show: America's Next Top Model on UPN > There's nothing quite like watching a bunch of vapid chicks compete against each other at bizarre and totally random tasks. The sub-plots are obviously heavily edited, the shoots are usually extremely ridiculous ("Now we're going to dress you up entirely in pompoms, paint your face orange, hook you up to this camel, blow sand and wind at you with this giant fan, and then fly you and the camel through the air on a cable in front of a green screen--now look sexy!") and the girls tend to be amazingly stupid. However, watching them begin to frazzle and start to break down and attack each other is a lot of fun. I always pick the wrong one to root for (as I've mentioned before, it's always the tall, awkward, small-town girl who is confused about her sexuality and incapable of walking in heels) but it's interesting to see who gains weight, who has a total breakdown, who hates her make-over, who gets sick, who gets ostracized, who quits, who lasts and who doesn't. I will admit that I find both of the Js somewhat annoying (though Miss J's Esther Williams get-up was a high-light of last week's episode and Mr. J actually gave useful advice during the photo shoot, which was probably a first...) and that Twiggy--fashion icon or no--is inutterably dull when compared to the clinically insane Janice Dickinson. Oh, and Nigel is cute, but he still creeps me out just a little.
So there you have it--the picks and pans of the Fall 2005 schedule. This list (with the exception of Survivor) is made up of the shows that I tend to record and watch when The Boyfriend is either busy or at work, so this is purely my opinion. Were you to ask him, he'd likely say that ALL of these (except the previously mentioned) totally suck. There are of course some great fall-backs, as well as some shows (Scrubs, Arrested Development) that I always mean to watch and dont, some that I end up watching whether I like it or not (Celebrity Poker, World Poker Tour, Poker Superstars,), and some that we watch regularly together (Simpsons, Family Guy, Good Eats, Pardon the Interruption, Hockey).
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