Going off the rails on a creepy train: Breakheart Pass

As we've previously established, I like old movies, and old action movies are probably my favorite. Yesterday, I watched Breakheart Pass, which is from 1975, but set out west sometime in the late 1800s. The basic plot is that Charles Bronson is a wanted man who gets picked up by a US Marshal in a small western town. The marshal decides to take him by train to the nearest fort to face justice. The two of them board a train headed to the fort, along with a bunch of other passengers and a group of soldiers.

Then, of course, havoc ensues.

1. Charles Bronson was kind of weird looking. I don't know if it's the haircut or the mustache or what, and it's not helped by the giant, weird fur coat he's rocking here. I mean, the man's a decent actor and a good action star, but man...not attractive.

2. This has some strong Murder on the Orient Express vibes, as well as a little bit of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians, in that you've got a group of people trapped on a moving train, almost none of whom are who they claim to be, and they're dropping dead at an alarming rate.

3. It took me quite a while to figure out what was going on, and who was responsible. I was frankly sort of impressed since I'm usually pretty good at ferreting out plot twists.

4. I was glad the romantic subplot remained very very sub. I kind of thought it was downright yikes due to the age difference, but the main actress (aka one of only two women in the entire movie) turned out to be 39 and not 22 so it wouldn't have been SO off. (Bronson was 54 at the time.) Um, further research tells me that she and Bronson were married when this was made. FURTHER sidenote--she was also married to Ducky from NCIS, and he introduced her to Bronson while they were making The Great Escape. Oops. She once famously said that the reason she was in so many Charles Bronson movies is because no other actress would work with him. I hope she was joking.

5. There's a pretty good fight on top of a moving train car. There's also some decent explosions.

6. Because this is a western, there are some Indigenous people. They are on the side of the villains, but they're not particularly terrible. Also, the actor playing the chief was actually Lakota, and not some Greek guy they painted brown, so kudos there, casting department.

7. On the whole, I liked this one. Not enough to watch it again, but enough to say if you enjoy 70s action movies, this one is worth your time.

"I'm looking at a tin star with a drunk pinned on it." El Dorado (and also Dust Up)

Twice in one weekend -- I know, I'm surprised too. Yet here we are.

After my adventure with The Three Musketeers, I figured I'd try something else new. At some point, for a reason lost even to myself, I added a movie called Dust Up to my Amazon watchlist. I can't figure out why, since it was a small indie from 2013 without a single recognizable star in it, aside from the woman who played Tara on Buffy (whom I liked, but I'm not exactly following her career). The basic premise is that a one-eyed veteran, who has moved out to the high desert to escape his traumatic past, ends up crossing the path of a deranged meth dealer, and ends up having to fight off a hoard of methed up crazy people, with the help of a young mom (the aforementioned Tara), her dopey addict husband, and the vet's indigenous (?) friend. It was...weird. If I had to make comparisons, I'd say it reminded me quite a bit of From Dusk Til Dawn, what with the B movie cast, over-the-top violence, and tacky effects. There were quite a few very funny moments, and I liked the leads quite a bit. The Native friend was...troubling. I wasn't sure if he was supposed to actually be indigenous, or just one of those people who fakes it, but it did give me some moments of eeegh. I'm not sure I'd strongly recommend it, but if you're a person who enjoys bargain basement Tarantino, it's not a total waste of time.

The other movie I watched was El Dorado. And before you ask, no, not the cartoon. This is the 1967 film with John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, and James Caan. It's one of those classic sixties westerns that involves groups of heavily armed men shooting at each other for convoluted reasons. As usual, I found it utterly delightful. Some thoughts I had:

1. The relationship between Wayne and Mitchum is...well, someone is probably writing slash about it somewhere, and for good reason. It's like the male version of "gals being pals." The two of them were trading some rather heated looks. Perhaps I just read too much slash fic, but the undertones there felt scorching to me. Maybe more so from Mitchum's side, but for a guy who is a legend for being a "man's man," John Wayne was delivering some smolder himself. I kept waiting for them to kiss. (Spoiler: they did not.) The whole bit about how Mitchum fell apart because some woman left him...um, we all know it's because John Wayne left. You're not fooling anybody here. I did not buy his relationship with the local madam for a second. Or maybe yes, but there were definitely some bi vibes happening. 

2. I'm pretty sure she was a madam. No one exactly said, but it was strongly implied. Particularly the bit where she suggests she could manage to be both Wayne and Mitchum's girl at the same time. Wayne looked intrigued. Mitchum looked concerned. (See point 1.)

4. Caan's character clearly does not understand the relationship going on here, either. Him and the old guy with the bugle seem determined to just stay out of the way and let the other two trade meaningful looks uninterrupted.

4. Holy hell, do I love the men of the Caan family. My deep lust for Scott is well-documented, but his father was no slouch when he was young, either. Just so tiny and feisty! I knew there was a reason my favorite Corleone was always Sonny. He doesn't disappoint in this, and he brings in the sexy, sexy comic relief.

5. I haven't watched nearly enough Robert Mitchum movies, but I need to add more to my list. The man can break your heart with just a single facial expression. There's a part where he comes back after being laughed out of a saloon that just about broke me. And then watching John Wayne try to soothe him through it...

6. Special effects in the 60s were very rudimentary. Don't think I didn't notice you throwing that dummy down during that horse trampling scene. It wasn't exactly "just fling the plastic skeleton and hope for the best in Army Of Darkness" level obvious, but it was not subtle.

7. Hey, Ed Asner! I almost always like Ed Asner.

8. There were only three women in this, and it most assuredly does NOT pass the Bechdel test. However, the sister with the shotgun is pretty badass. She is going to give James Caan and his bitty ass a run for his money.

9. There is a racist bit. It is "Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffanys" bad, but at least it's mercifully short. But ouch. Bad.

10. The poem: I always forget about Edgar Allan Poe, and it's always a mistake. Yeah, he was a massive drunken creep, but there's a reason his poems are still famous.

11. That was just a delight.

CBR6 #15: Joyland by Stephen King

Although I love his massive epics like IT and The Stand, I think where Stephen King shines the most is in his shorter fiction. At 283 pages, Joyland is comparatively short, but it allows the story to unfold in a more focused way, and avoids some of the bloated tangents that--though I love them--can make the longer works drag a little.

Devon Jones gets his heart broken, and on a whim decides to leave Maine spend the summer of his 21st year working at a small amusement park in the south called Joyland. As he learns the ways of the carnies--figuring how how to speak their lingo, keep the "rubes" in their places, "wear the fur," and "sell fun"--he also discovers the dark secret of the park--the unsolved murder of a young woman in the haunted house years before, who rumors say haunts the ride. Devon spends the summer saving lives and waiting for the predictions of the park's local psychic to come true. When fall comes, a chill will fall across Joyland, and Devon will be lucky if can survive it.

This was a first person story, and the character of Devon had a wonderful, clear voice. He was wry, self-deprecating, and interesting, and his narration moved the plot along. The side characters were interesting and fairly well fleshed-out, and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen to them. The ending was also much better than I expected, it being a King book and all ;)

I'd recommend this to any King fan, and even those who may think they don't like his work should try it. It's more murder mystery/coming-of-age tale than a horror book, despite the occasional ghostly visit or psychic flash.

If you enjoyed this review, be sure to check out www.cannonballread.com for more great book reviews.

CBR4 #41: Sandman Slim by Richard Kadrey

Eleven years ago, James Stark's friends cast him into hell. Unfortunately for them, he's escaped. Now he's roaming the streets of Los Angeles--armed with supernatural weapons, hellion spells, and the skills picked up from spending more than a decade doing battle in hell's arena with the worst the underworld had to offer--looking for revenge on the people who cast him down and in particular the ones who killed the woman he loved.

With the help of an immortal alchemist, a literal talking head, a mysterious man who sells very mysterious things, an angry angel, an underground doctor, and a video store clerk, Stark discovers that he's not the only one with an axe to grind...and that the fate of the entire world may just hang in the balance with only him to save it.

I like this book a lot. It reads like a Jason Statham movie--blood, guts, action, magic, fights, and funny one-liners. I enjoyed all the characters, though some were not fleshed out as well as I'd like, since the focus was mostly on Stark and the story was told from his perspective. I was right with him, though, trying to figure out what was going on and predict his enemies' next moves, as well as figure out whether his friends could be trusted. Obviously, this is not high literature, but it was tremendously entertaining.

This is the first book in a series, and I can't WAIT to get my hands on the next one.

CBR4 #17: The Tomb by F. Paul Wilson

Repairman Jack is a fixer. He isn't likely to fix a leaky sink or malfunctioning dryer, but he WILL help get rid of a stalker, deal with vandals who won't leave you alone, or track down property you might not want the cops to know is missing.

In this tale, Jack finds himself tracking down a special necklace for a Bengali diplomat. He also is called upon (grudgingly) by his ex-girlfriend to help locate an elderly friend who has gone missing. Unsurprisingly, the two events are related. What might be surprising is how things end up shaking out.

I liked the character of Repairman Jack very much. He's interesting, with a distinctive voice and clear motivations. His girlfriend Gia was not as likable, but at least her motivation to make the choices she did was also clear. The side characters were also well done, including Jack's pawn-broker friend and Gia's adorable daughter Vicky.

Frankly, I did see one of the twists coming from fairly early on, but it didn't effect how much I enjoyed the story. The characters managed to hold my interest even when the plot got a little obvious. It is a little formulaic, but in an enjoyable sort of way. I will definitely be looking into this series, as it seems to be some light, fun reading.

CBR4 #15: Ghost Road Blues by Jonathan Maberry

Thirty years ago, something evil came to the small town of Pine Deep. The evil was stymied, but not destroyed. Now, most residents of "the Most Haunted Town in America" have forgotten what happened. Some of them still remember, though. And some of them are still very, very angry.

This was a pretty good book. I liked the protagonists--ex-cop Malcolm Crow, his girlfriend Val, and young "Iron Mike" Sweeney--a lot. They were were relateable characters, with emotions and reactions I found believable. Crow in particular was very cool. Val was a strong female character, mostly independent and smart. Even the antagonistic characters--dangerous convict Karl, Mike's abusive stepfather Vic, and (most disturbing) religious fanatic Tow-Truck Eddie--had their own motivations and points of view.

The main problem I had with this book is that it feels incomplete. I realize that it's the first book in a trilogy, but it felt like there was a lot of set up and very little pay-off. Many things are hinted at, both from the future and the past, but almost nothing actually came to fruition. I found myself wanting at least a few answers. While I understand the author wanted to leave the audience hungry for more from the second book, I felt like he should have thrown me a bone at some point--explain a little more about what happened thirty years ago, or about the plan, or about the characters, or SOMETHING. Nothing seemed to resolve and I felt I'd been left hanging.

I plan to get the other books in this trilogy eventually because I am interested in finding out what happens to the characters. However, at this point I'm still feeling a bit annoyed with the author.

CR3 #88: Dead Famous by Carol O'Connell

(I received this book for free from the publisher through a Goodreads.com give-away. Don't worry, I'll still be honest.)

Dead Famous is apparently the seventh in Carol O'Connell's Kathleen Mallory series. I haven't read any of the others, so I can't comment on how this fits in to the series. However, I will say that I did enjoy the book quite a bit.

At the heart of the story is a serial murderer--he's been hunting down and murdering the members of a jury who let a killer go free. The tale is told mostly from the perspective of Riker, a former-cop who has turned to crime-scene cleaning work. There's also the view of his employee Johanna, a hunch-backed but beautiful mystery. In addition, there's Mallory, who is a brilliant and devoted--if slightly sociopathic--police detective. She is trying to get Riker to return to the police department, but he's got other plans. She hopes perhaps this new murderer will help convince him. Complicating matters is a shock-jock, who has been using his program to provide information to the killer about the locations of the remaining jurors.

The plot was twisty enough to keep me interested, and I was mildly surprised at the identity of the killer. I was also a little shocked at the way things turned out at the end. The characters were interesting, particularly Riker and Johanna. Mallory was not at all likable in this story, but I can see how she might be, in story told from mostly her point of view. I think this would probably be a good book for those who enjoy the Rizzoli & Isles mysteries. It's not spectacular, but it was good enough that I'm considering getting the earlier books to see how they might change my view.

CR3 #81: Moonlight Mile (Kenzie & Gennaro #6) by Dennis Lehane

Twelve years ago, Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro got involved in tracking down Amanda McCready, a missing child from the tough Boston neighborhood of Dorchester. The case was a moral quandary, and nearly destroyed their relationship. Both of them still have doubts about how the girl's problems were solved, and whether returning her to her substance addled mother was the right decision. Now, time has passed, Patrick and Angie are married with a daughter of their own, they've both grown dissatisfied with the private eye business, and Amanda is missing again. Patrick sets out to find her, perhaps to quiet his long restless conscience.

The plot on this is good and interesting, though rather far-fetched. My problems had more to do with the characters. Although the characters of Patrick and Angie were more or less believable, everyone else was a cartoon. Amanda was too smart, the adults around her too stupid. The eastern European gangsters were stereotypes. It's almost as if Lehane were revisiting his old characters not because he wanted to or felt particularly inspired, but because he thought that's what his fans want--a book to tie up the series and leave Patrick and Angie to live happily ever after. The writing was funny and clever, and for the most part I enjoyed it. However, it felt like there was no soul there--the previous books are so firmly set in time and place, full of the little details that evoke those special parts of Boston, and this one was adrift. It could have taken place anywhere.

On the whole, not a bad book, and one to check out for those who have followed the series. However, there's no point in reading it unless you have at least read Gone, Baby, Gone.

CR3 #77: 48 by James Herbert

James Herbert's 48 begins three years after the end of World War II. In this world, Hitler's final act before committing suicide was to release the Nazis' top secret bio-weapon over London. The weapon is a blood disease that causes most people to drop dead wherever they may be. Some take slightly longer to die, some linger for years as their blood slowly turns black and congeals in their veins. Some, it turns out, are totally immune due to a sheer fluke of genetics. One such person is an American pilot named Hoke. He's spent the past three years surviving alone in London, accompanied by a stray dog. As the book begins, he's on the run from a group of "blackshirts," a group of "slow-death" suffers lead by a mad nobleman. Hoke runs across a small band of fellow survivors, and soon all of them are fighting for their lives in a post-apocalyptic world.

This was not a bad read. The characters are a tiny bit cliched, but it is after all not a character study but a thrilling empty-world adventure book. For the most part, the main character is a typical action hero, full of cutting one-liners, bravado, and a slightly tragic back story. The other characters are distinct, but not particularly engaging. The story is frankly too short to get attached to any of the secondary characters. There are some really great chase scenes, and one through the London tube system is dark, creepy, and a little bit scary. On the whole, this is not a bad action book, but there's not much more to it than that.

CR3 #71: A Winter Haunting by Dan Simmons

This book is the sequel to Simmons's Summer of Night. Dale Stewart--last seen as a terrified child in Summer of Night--has grown up. He was a literature professor and writer, but now his life has begun to fall apart. He left his wife for one of his grad students, only to be unceremoniously dumped. He's taken a sabbatical from teaching and was pushed to the brink of suicide. At the beginning of the book, he makes the decision to go spend some time in his old hometown. He rents the farmhouse where his (late) friend Duane grew up, determined to work on a novel about the summer of 1960. As it turns out, that summer isn't nearly as distant as Dale would like to think, and real life (represented by a pack of skinheads who dislike Dale's ideology) isn't exactly peachy, either.

This is a ghost story, similar perhaps to Stephen King's Bag of Bones or even The Dark Half. The past dredges itself up and begins to assert itself on the "real" world. Dale's struggle to understand what's real and what isn't drives him to the edge of sanity. The novel is mostly first-person, though some sections are narrated by Dale's friend Duane, who died at twelve during the events of the previous book. The Duane sections are a bit weird, since it's not clear if he's a real presence or something more similar to the narrator of The Lovely Bones, merely a partially-omniscient narrator. Although the previous book is suspiciously similar to King's work, this book--while in the same vein--is definitely more original. The character of Dale is a  consistent (though unreliable) narrator. There are also some interesting secondary characters, but for the most part this is totally Dale's story. There are some good action scenes that keep the story moving right along, too.

I made it through this book pretty quickly, and though I would not necessarily call it a "good" book, it was enjoyable enough to keep me interested. I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoyed Summer of Night (don't try to read it without reading that first--it won't make any sense.)

CR3 #68: The Throat

The Throat is the third novel in Straub's "Blue Rose" trilogy, and I'm still not entirely sure how I felt about it.

First of all, unlike the other two books, The Throat is not a stand-alone work. Without having read both Koko and Mystery, you will be totally lost. The main character in The Throat is Tim Underhill, the free-spirited writer from Koko. He explains that the previous two books were works of fiction that he wrote based on true experiences. Therefore, you need to know the events related in the previous two novels, but they are now somewhat unreliable, since Underhill explains that he definitely changed some things. This work begins when Tim receives a call from a long-lost army buddy, whose wife has been attacked. John Ransom wants Tim to come back to their hometown of Millhaven to look into the case, since it appears to be connected with a series of murders from fifty years before. The Blue Rose murders (mentioned briefly in the other two books) are thought to be long solved, but now it seems that the killer has returned. Tim--with the help of eccentric genius Tom Pasmore (hero of Mystery)--has to delve through current events as well as those from the time of the original murders and from Ransom's service in Vietnam to figure out the truth.

This is a pretty good book, but I didn't feel quite as connected to it as I did to Koko. That one felt a little more visceral, and the variety of characters added a lot to the story. In this one, Underhill is mostly on his own, and while he is interesting, he could use a little help. Straub has once again done a good job with the secondary and peripheral characters--Ransom's semi-senile father-in-law, an elderly jazz musician, and a visiting nurse, for example--all of whom are interesting and vibrant. One of the only problems I had with The Throat is the same as the one I had with Koko--I figured out the twist far before the characters in the story did, and I found it frustrating. I couldn't figure out why they were so unable to see what was obvious to me.

Aside from that one issue, this is a pretty good book, and I recommend the series to anyone who likes mysteries that are a little outside the norm.

CR3 #67: Koko by Peter Straub

Koko is the first book in Peter Straub's "Blue Rose" trilogy, but it stands alone quite well.

Dr. Michael Poole and three of his friends--all former members of his unit in Vietnam--travel to Washington D.C. for the opening of the Vietnam War Memorial. While there, they discuss a spree of grisly murders in East Asian cities that are reminiscent of something they witnessed during the war. They suspect that the murderer is another former member of their unit, so they decide to travel overseas to hunt him down before it's too late. Unfortunately, for some of them it's already too late. Their collective past has come back to haunt them, and it becomes a race against time to save themselves.

This was a great book. Dr. Poole and the other main characters were very well-written, and I was definitely captivated by their hunt for the killer Koko. The secondary characters were also really great, including the mystical Maggie Lah and the psychotically arrogant Henry Beevers. All the characters were distinctive, and each brought his or her own special something to the story. Even the sections from Koko's perspective--though distorted--were interesting.

The plot of the novel was relatively good, following the men around both East Asia and New York City, dealing with both the trouble of the present and the ghosts of the past. However, I was a little frustrated because I figured out the twist quite a while before the main characters did, and it seemed quite obvious to me. However, the resolution of the book is satisfying, and it was a good, suspenseful read.

CR3 #60: Think of a Number by John Verdon

(Disclaimer: I received this book for free from Crown Publishing Group in a giveaway through Goodreads.com.)

Dave Gurney was a superstar detective in NYC homicide. He was well-known for his work putting dangerous serial killers away, but now he's retired and has moved to the countryside. He fills his time with his new hobby--despised by his wife, Madeleine--of doing digitally enhanced portraits of the serial killers he's put away. Life is going along quietly until one day he receives a call from a college friend he hasn't spoken to in 25 years. The friend has been receiving some strange, threatening notes in the mail, and is more than a little worried about his own safety. As it turns out, he's right to be.

Eventually, Dave finds himself getting more and more involved in the case, both due to concern for his friend and because he misses the joy of detection. The criminal is the smartest Gurney has ever encountered, and catching him is going to take every ounce of intelligence and experience Dave possesses.

The plot of this book was great and moved along quickly. The case was interesting, and the clues were intriguing. I really enjoyed the character of Dave, particularly watching the way his mind was organizing and analysing things. There were also some good side characters, like Detective Hardwick, a foul-mouthed veteran of the local homicide department, and Mr. Spline, the local DA with political aspirations. They were all well drawn (if occasionally a little two-dimensional) and I liked them. The only character I absolutely couldn't stand was Gurney's wife, Madeleine. She spends 99% of the book as a relentless, passive-aggressive harpy, and I was hoping she'd end up murdered so I wouldn't have to listen to her obnoxious and ceaseless sighing. Utterly horrible. Without her, I think the book would have been even better than it was.

On the whole, this is a great, quick-moving mystery novel with good characters and an exciting plot. I'd definitely recommend it.

I pity the fog!: The A-Team and The Fog

So I thought it might be nice to take a break from my never-ending onslaught of book reviews to talk about some movies I watched recently. Yes, I know, it's just yet more "What did the Caustic Critic think about things?" but since this is a blog, and therefore nearly the pinnacle of self-involvement anyway...I figured it would be okay.

Last weekend was gross and wet for the most part, so I had plenty of time to sit on my butt and watch movies. I FINALLY got to two of the three Netflix movies that have been sitting on the TV table for about a month (whimpering "Watch us! Watch us!" as they collected dust).

First off, I watched the new film version of The A-Team. I figured it would be right up my alley, seeing as I love movies that are made up almost entirely of wisecracks and inexplicable explosions. Mind you, I've only ever watched about 3/4 of one original A-Team episode, so I wasn't really bringing in any prior baggage. But I had some questions:

• Liam Neeson, what are you doing in this film? Were you so deranged by grief at the loss of your wife that you accepted this without looking at it closely? Did you just need something sort of mindless to do as a version of a vacation? Because you are a very very good actor, and you were WASTED here.
• Why is Hollywood trying to sell me Bradley Cooper as a "hot guy"? I know he's kind of funny, and I thought The Hangover was an okay movie, but this guy is NOT Brad Pitt, nor will he ever BE Brad Pitt. He looks like an emu, all right? (If you don't believe me, google it. You'll understand soon enough.)
• Jessica Biel: see #2 re: Bradley Cooper, and replace "Brad Pitt" with some Hollywood star like Sandra Bullock or Angelina Jolie or...anyone who has more than one facial expression, really.
• Why wasn't the crazy guy crazier? The guy who played the crazy guy in the TV show packed more crazy into the 30 minutes I saw than this guy put into the whole movie. I was very disappointed at the lack of sock puppets.

To be fair, here are an equal number of things I enjoyed:

• I know it is totally stupid and not real and physically impossible, but that bit where they parachute out of the sky in a tank while shooting down drones was pretty awesome. Also the big explosions at the end were cool.
• The bumbling bad guys were kind of funny. Actually, there were quite a few funny bits.
• Even though he clearly did not belong in the movie, Liam Neeson of course did an excellent job.
• The plot made at least a minimum of sense. It wasn't one of those films where you can't even follow because the whole thing is so convoluted and dumb.

So in conclusion, I wouldn't exactly recommend The A-Team, but it's not a complete waste of time.

The other movie I watched was John Carpenter's 1980 version of The Fog. Now THAT was a surprisingly good film. It's amazing how many scares you can get out of fog and things moving that shouldn't. The set up was great, the acting was very good--particularly Hal Holbrook and Adrienne Barbeau. The plot was perfectly reasonable and made sense in the context. The people behaved in realistic ways for the most part, though as an audience member you find yourself yelling at them to pool their knowledge, since if the three or four people who each partly figured out what was going on got together, they'd have it solved in no time. Another great thing about this movie is that the cinematography is really impressive. The way the movie is shot contributes a lot to the tone and the way the whole thing feels. I haven't seen the 2005 remake, and I suspect that it won't be nearly as good...they'll overuse the CGI and fuck the whole thing up, I bet. Anyway, if you haven't seen The Fog, you should, particularly if you like scary movies but don't like gore.

CR3 #37: Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris

Dead Reckoning is the eleventh book in Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire (aka True Blood) series. I pre-ordered it as soon as the option existed, and it arrived last week, much to my delight.

Did any of you see the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie? If you did, maybe you'll understand my feelings about this book. I LIKED the first PotC movie a lot, and I liked the second one quite a bit, too. I was invested in what was going to happen to the characters I cared about. The third movie had bits that I really really enjoyed. I got to find out the continuing story of Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann. However, the plot was a complete disaster, and it was as if the writer accepted some kind of dare to wedge in as many old AND new characters as possible. Even though I mostly enjoyed it, the whole thing was a sloppy, wildly overdone wreck, saved only by the main characters' sheer presence, the exit of several unpleasant and/or boring characters, and by the fact that the set-up for the sequel leaves openings for some really exciting stuff to happen.

In case you're wondering, that's exactly how I felt about Dead Reckoning. If you follow the series, the obviously you must read this. But under no circumstances should anyone attempt to read this as a stand-alone book. It'd simply be impossible.

CR3 #35: Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris

Grave Secret is the fourth book in Charlaine Harris's "Harper Connelly" series. Harper was struck by lightning when she was young, and now has the ability to not only sense dead bodies, but to know what killed them. She travels with her former stepbrother/current boyfriend Tolliver, going to whatever clients might request her services. In this book, she and Tolliver return to Texas at the behest of a wealthy ranching family. Unfortunately, Harper senses more than she should, and soon she and Tolliver find their lives in danger. Tied up in all this is their blended family, and the mystery of what happened to Harper's older sister when she vanished eight years ago.

This book is okay, but it's frankly a little bit blah. The plot often seemed far-fetched, and hardly ever made use of Harper's "skills" like the previous novels. Also, a lot of the family dynamics seemed to run off into dead ends. The secondary characters were not as well fleshed-out as they could have been, and it seemed like a lot of the book was spent sitting around in various places waiting for things to happen. Although it provided a lot of back story for Harper and Tolliver, a lot of that seemed either unnecessary or repetitious.

Not to mention that the whole "He used to be my brother and now he's my boyfriend" things is kinda weird. Luckily, the other characters in the book bring that up nearly every other page so no one can forget.

On the whole, I found this fairly disappointing. Since the overarching mystery of Cameron gets solved in this one, I am guessing this may be the final book in the series. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone except a true Harris enthusiast.

CR3 #23: House of Windows by John Langan

House of Windows is the story of Veronica, a young widow. She tells the story of her short marriage and of her husband's mysterious disappearance to a writer she meets during a Cape weekend. It's a tale that begins as a love story between a young woman and her much older (and married) professor. They fall and love and eventually are married. Things seem to be going well, but soon the professor's son from his first marriage arrives to cause trouble. When he dies shortly after in Afghanistan, things begin to go horribly wrong for the couple, and the trouble seems to center around their home, Belvedere House.

This is a book that wants to be both deeply suspenseful as well as literary. Unfortunately, in my opinion, it doesn't necessarily succeed on either point. On one hand, there is a great deal of literature involved, as the professor is a Dickens expert, and Veronica follows in his literary footsteps, with a concentration in 19th century literature. Perhaps I just missed the allusions, since I have read very little Dickens, and absolutely no Melville. I suppose it's possible that some of the book's themes may have gone right over my head because I wasn't able to pick up on the references. My main disappointment came from the lack of suspense. It becomes obvious fairly early on what is happening to Veronica and the professor, but then it seems to take forever for the story to come to a head. There are moments of suspense and horror, but then they dissipate and we spend another 20 - 30 pages rehashing repetitive relationship arguments or talking extensively of the history of painters who don't exist and are mere red herrings in terms of the story. It's almost as if John Langan wanted to write a haunted house story and a ghost story, but didn't connect them properly.

The was the second book in a row that I found myself looking at and going "There is still THAT MUCH left to go? I feel like I've been reading forever!"

I wouldn't recommend this one--it will be unsatisfactory both for those who are looking for good writing and for those looking for a good scare.

CR3 #13: The Bachman Books by Stephen King

The Bachman Books consists of four novellas that were published by Stephen King under the assumed name "Richard Bachman." Bachman was King's escape hatch--he could write non-supernatural thrillers without "tarnishing" his brand. Three of the four pieces in this collection are stories that I consider some of King's best work.

"Rage": This is actually out of print now, I believe, since one of the Columbine shooters allegedly quoted it as an inspiration and King asked that it not be printed again. It's the story of Charlie Decker, a high school senior who--on a bright spring day--shoots his algebra teacher and takes his class hostage. The story is told from Decker's point of view, as he tries to explain what drove him to this point. However, the truly surprising part is the reaction of his classmates to the situation, and the way that the tables unexpectedly turn on Charlie and on Ted, the BMOC. I like this one because the reactions of Charlie's classmates are truly surprising. Although it is at sometimes uneven, and is obviously the work of a young writer (Stephen King wrote this when he was 17 himself, and it shows...nowadays, he'd probably be expelled for writing something like this!) it certainly has its moments.

"The Long Walk": Ray Garraty is a sixteen year old from Maine who is participating in his society's big yearly event: the Long Walk. One hundred boys from around the country gather to walk as far as they can without stopping, starting in Northern Maine and maintaining a pace of at least 4 miles per hour. Ray starts out excited, but soon realizes that the walk is no laughing matter: walkers who drop below 4mph more than three times are summarily executed. It's a battle for survival and sanity. This is a great story as far as character development. The plot is fairly static (boys are walking, talking, and dying), so we'll probably never have to worry about this being made into a movie, thank God. However, the interplay between the characters and their gradual realization of what they've gotten themselves into is gripping.

"Roadwork": This is my least favorite of the four. It's basically the same original premise as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, except instead of being zipped off the face of the earth when it turns out a new freeway is going to be going directly through his house and business, the main character of this story tries to fight the man and eventually loses his mind. It's trying very hard to be "deep" and "serious" but instead it is just deeply and seriously "no fun."

"The Running Man": The movie of the same name starring the Governator is VERY VERY loosely based on this story, but the novella is 180% better. In this story, a healthy but extremely poor man living in a dystopian future needs money to provide for his sick child. He applies and is accepted for a part on the television show "The Running Man." The idea is that he has to survive for thirty days while being hunted by both trained assassins and the viewing public. As he runs, he discovers that there is more going on in the world than he could have imagined, and the giant TV conglomerate has its own dirty secrets. This is another really great story, with both a lot of action and a certain amount of character development. This would actually make a great movie, if it were done properly instead of becoming a campy cartoon.

On the whole, I'd definitely recommend getting copy of this collection -- make sure you get an old version, though, so you get all four stories.

A True Blood Post: Because I am Possibly the Biggest Dork Alive

Unfortunately, neither The Boyfriend nor Starbucks Queen are even the slightest bit interested in True Blood, and most of the people I know who are have either only read the books or only seen the show or are behind on the show because they're watching it on DVD or whatever. Therefore, I am spewing out all my opinions here because I can't keep them to myself any longer.

Reasons the Books are Better than the Show:

1. Sookie is a lot less annoying when you can't hear her. I like Anna Paquin, and think she mostly does an okay job with the character (though this season the writing for her has been weak at best) but sometimes she has a voice like a dental drill. Particularly when she is shrieking "BEEEEEEEEEELL!" every 38 seconds.

2. In the books, Alcide is a hottie and he and Sookie have crazy chemistry. On the show he has all the personality of a garden hose, and he and Sookie seem to barely like one another. He's been underused this season, but I'm not exactly sad, because the actor playing him is a significant disappointment.

3. The books are a little more focused than the show, allowing the Sookie character to be more important. They're told from her point of view, so reader can find her character more sympathetic.

4. The fairy Claudine is more awesome and interesting and involved and less "Whoo, I'm mysterious and pointy-faced in my fuzzy-filtered Stevie Nicks world!" Her character personality-wise is much more similar in the books to what Maryanne was last season. In the books, Claudine is an active and vital force for good out in the world rather than the twinkly, whimpering doom-whisperer she's been thus far on the show.

5. There is a lot less Arlene in the books. I find Arlene and her storyline sort of annoying this season, though I think the actress is doing the best she can with the little she's been given. She's a shrill character, and I wish she'd been improved instead of turned into a whiny stereotype and easy doorway for witchcraft to enter the show.

6. Calvin Norris is an interesting and complicated character, instead of a deranged meth head who shouldn't have even showed up until season 4. I was extremely disappointed at how he's been used in the show, since his character in the books is another option for Sookie--a slightly more "normal" guy who wants to give her a more "normal" life. I mean, aside from being a panther, obviously.

7. Bubba! I know why they can't use him on the show, but I do miss him.

Reasons the Show is Better Than the Books:

1. Lafayette doesn't die! In the books, he's a throwaway character who gets murdered at the end of book one. In the show, he is just a huge bowl of awesome and Nelsan Ellis should get an award or a big check or something. He's an effeminate-looking gay tough guy, who has a lot of great lines, and I'm happy that he finally has someone to appreciate him, though I'm not sure I like where this Jesus thing is going.

2. Jason is a better character. In the books he's kind of a selfish jerk, whereas in the show he is sometimes self-involved, but sweet...though not very bright. Often, watching Jason try to puzzle out what's going on around him and figure out what the appropriate response should be is the funniest part of the episode. I am admittedly rather unimpressed with him and his whole wannabe-cop, dating the meth-girl story line this season. He's a much better brother than he is in the books, though, and I have liked his interactions with Sookie.

3. Although this season the side characters have gotten a little out of control, in the past I have enjoyed how some of the very minor book characters have developed their own lives and personalities and story lines. Terry Bellefleur is a great example of this--he's mentioned in the books in passing, but I have liked his character and become invested in what happens to him (frankly, his relationship with Arlene and falling out with Sam has me very concerned at the moment). Sam is another character that is not nearly as important in the books as he is in the show. It's interesting to see him have his own life, though I could have happily done without his creepy white-trash family. (Also, the dude who plays him is adorable and apparently not shy about getting naked a lot.)

4. Jessica! She's a completely new invention from Alan Ball, and she's great -- a young vampire, a counterpoint to Bill, Eric, Pam, and all the other vamps we know who are centuries old. She's a modern girl trying to figure out how to behave and where her place in the world might be. The interactions between her and Bill (her unwilling surrogate dad, who--we're led to believe--is nicer to her than her real dad ever was), her and Sookie (both a surrogate mom and an older sister, helping Jessica see how a nice--but not stiflingly sheltered--girl behaves), her and Hoyt (one of the cutest relationships on the show), and her and Pam (who shows her how a BAD girl behaves) are all great and show different sides of familiar characters.

5. As many have been mentioning this season, Dennis O'Hare's Russell Edgington has been campy fun all the way around. Although his storyline is very different than it was in the books, he's been a delight to watch in every episode. He's another person who deserves an award or a large check (particularly since I think his character doesn't have much longer to live.)

Things That are Ties:

1. Tara in the books is a minor side character who is not very interesting. I really liked her character in Season One, but she all of season two and most of season three weeping around. I miss when she was feisty. I did enjoy her recent conversation with Sam, but she seriously needs to stop getting all the "victim" stories.

2. Sam's brother, a recent addition, could go either way. I'm not sure if the show is better because he's in it or the books are better because he's not. Although I like that he's kind of scrappy, and his crush on Jessica is kind of cute, he can be a pain-in-the-ass for no reason. Like, okay, you are uneducated and have daddy issues and mommy issues and class issues. Stop treating Sam like trash and let him help you out, pitbull face.

3. The Queen is not interesting to me in the books or the show. She is just dull and mostly used as a plot point rather than a real character.

4. I'd really like to see Sookie's friendship with Pam develop as it does in the books, but so far, Kristen Bauer has done a great job being icy and sarcastic and yet deeply attached to her maker on the show.

5. Eric is awesome no matter where he is. I really don't know how he could be improved. Then again, I am a sucker for a saucy viking.

Any other thoughts?

Cannonball Read 2 #51: Plague of the Dead by Z. A. Recht

This was great as far as zombie books go. Unlike World War Z (which is an incredible book) this is more personal -- we are introduced to a set of characters whom we follow as the world collapses.

In this book, zombies are caused by a disease. It's spread through blood contamination, and it first kills, then reanimates its victims. The American government tries to keep the public in the dark, but an Army scientist and a daring reporter (two of the main characters) break the story, and have to suffer the consequences. The other group of survivors are a military group, and include a wild private, a beautiful young Red Cross volunteer, a worldly photographer, a hardened military leader, and several other terrified refugees. This group escapes from Africa on a ship and lands in the Pacific Northwest, trying to make their way east while avoiding the hoards of the undead. The scientist and the reporter also have to try and make their way to a safe place to meet up with the other group.

It's a great book, and I found it totally engrossing. It would also make a great movie, as it's suspenseful and focused. However, it's the first book in a trilogy, and although the second book has been released it's out of print, and unfortunately the young author passed away before completing the final book. Although his family has apparently said they are going to get the third book completed and published, I'm still trying to decide if I should put myself through the torture of getting hold of the second book only to be waiting indefinitely for the finale. I guess I'll have to see just how badly I want to know what happens!