CBR11 #5: The Darkness on the Edge of Town - You Might Forget The Sky Was Ever Blue by Michael Chin

First of all, I have to admit that this review is probably going to be a little biased because the author happens to be a friend of mine. I've known Mike for twenty-three years (Jesus, really?) since I was fourteen. We went to nerd camp together -- a total of nine weeks over the course of three years. We took writing classes together and wrote letters during the off-season (yes letters! On paper!) A character in his first published work was based on and named after me, a fact that still, nearly twenty years later, inordinately pleases me. I like the guy. Lucky for me, I also have always liked his work. From those early stories to his blog, of which I am a Constant Reader, he's always had a way with words and a unique view on the world. This book doesn't disappoint.

You Might Forget The Sky Was Ever Blue is a series of vaguely related short stories which mostly take place in a rotting town in upstate New York called Shermantown. It's one of those places which used to have a factory, but now it doesn't, and the people who stay there are still not sure how to move on. It's the kind of place where people in diners get interviewed about why they voted for Trump, and the words "economic insecurity" will probably come up, which is both accurate and not. I know this kind of place because I grew up in one. As the stories unfold, Shermantown becomes a character in them, creeping around the edges of nearly every story.

I think I'd probably say my favorite was the first piece in the book, called "Prophecy," which is the story of an elementary school teacher and his wife. It's hard to pin down what it's about, exactly. It's more a feeling of rising tension and the thought that something might happen. Many of the stories are like that--tension that builds uncomfortably. Some resolve. Some don't. The characters aren't all likable, and they don't necessarily make good decisions. Nearly all of them are sad in some way, and the characters who aren't sad are frankly a bit suspicious. There were some stories where I wished there could be more. There were one or two where I was very, very glad when they ended. There are thoughts about family, and friendships, though the families are off-kilter and the friendships (and relationships) seem to be rotting along with the town.

To be honest, this style of work is not really my jam. I prefer my fiction funny, full of monsters, or ideally both. These stories weren't dark, but they were a deceptively sharp knife which cut just a little too close to the bone for me. I was deeply impressed with the careful, deliberate way they were put together, but I'm not sure I'd say I "enjoyed" them. It's a bit like the way I feel about movies occasionally--there are some films that I watch, and can say "That movie was beautiful, deep, and moving...but I don't think I want to watch it again." I appreciate the craftsmanship that went into them, the way the descriptions were so clear, the characters so deftly defined with just a few words. I'm glad I read it and would encourage anyone else who has an interest in literary fiction to buy it (or demand your library buy it) because it's so worth reading.

CR3 #62: Kings of Colorado by David E. Hilton

(Disclaimer: I received this book free from Simon & Schuster in a giveaway through Goodreads.com. My opinions are my own.)

William Sheppard is a kid from mid-60s Chicago who--in a moment of desperation--stabs his abusive stepfather with a pen-knife. Although the man survives, Will is sent away for two years to Swope Ranch, a reformatory for boys in the Colorado mountains. He makes few friends (though the ones he finds are something special) and a few (brutal) enemies. He spends time learning how to break horses, how to survive in a completely hostile environment, and trying to figure out who he will become. The majority of the staff are at best uninterested and at worst actively dangerous. Soon, Will and his friends find themselves in a situation none of them could have imagined when they arrived.

Kings of Colorado reminded me a lot of Lorenzo Carcaterra's book Sleepers, in that both take place in a prison for boys, and the circumstances vary from grim to downright deadly. Sleepers begins with the main characters already being friends, while Kings of Colorado has the boys meeting once they reach the ranch. Also, in Sleepers the story spends almost as much time on the boys' adult lives (and their revenge on the reformatory) as it does on their youth, while Kings of Colorado is almost 90% about the time spent at the ranch. The characters are well-drawn, and the plot for the most part moves along. The descriptive passages are pretty enjoyable, and the author definitely has writing talent. My main complaint with this book is that it was almost relentlessly depressing. There were a few very brief occasions of happiness or humor, but for the most part the book consisted of terrible things happening to mostly nice people. Since I connected closely to the characters, it made it worse that nothing good ever happened to them. I did enjoy the way things ended--it tied the book together and gave the reader a (albeit very tidy) conclusion.

I'd recommend this because it's a pretty good coming-of-age story with some really great descriptions and characterizations. One thing to note, although this may look like a YA book, it would probably only be appropriate for older teenagers, since it is--as I mentioned--pretty dark. On the whole, a great debut effort from David Hilton. I look forward to seeing what he does with his next work!

CR3 #61: Carrie by Stephen King (King REreview #3)

(Sorry people -- I've been reading just as much lately, but work has been sort of horrifying, and when combined with this ridiculous heat wave, it doesn't do a whole lot for my motivation to accomplish...anything at all, really [well, except maybe eat popsicles and drink mojitos, but neither of those things exactly counts as productivity]. I have a couple reviews to write, but I'm hoping they'll get done in the next couple days.)

Carrie is the first Stephen King book I ever read. As I share a name with the protagonist, I figured I might as well read the damn thing so I would at least get the allusions people made to the novel. Therefore, at 13, I walked into the local library and hunted down the Stephen King section, which at the time was entirely made up of paper backs crammed into one tall rotating rack. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

The story concerns Carrie White, a teenager living in Maine. She is neither attractive nor particularly bright, and due to her upbringing by a religious fanatic mother, her social skills are also nothing special. She has spent most of her life as the butt of every joke, tortured by her classmates and ignored by almost everyone else. The one thing Carrie has going for her--as she discovers one day during gym class--is a latent talent for telekinesis. Several stories--including that of Carrie, her classmate Sue, antagonist Chris, and the rest of the town--are entwined, coming together in a final explosive confrontation.

The story is probably familiar, as it's become a part of popular culture due to the film version with Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie. However, the book is definitely worth reading. It's set up as an epistolary novel, combining news clippings, "witness testimony," and "scientific papers" as well as sections from the characters' points of view. In style, it has a lot in common with Dracula, which King has often mentioned as a strong influence on his writing. The characters are compelling, and you definitely find yourself sympathizing with Carrie, even if you do what is going to happen in the end.

I highly recommend this--it's a quick read, free from King's usual ramblings and tangents (which, though I do enjoy them, can lead to bloat in some of his works). It's a good introduction to his style without the thousand page commitment.

CR3 #35: Grave Secret by Charlaine Harris

Grave Secret is the fourth book in Charlaine Harris's "Harper Connelly" series. Harper was struck by lightning when she was young, and now has the ability to not only sense dead bodies, but to know what killed them. She travels with her former stepbrother/current boyfriend Tolliver, going to whatever clients might request her services. In this book, she and Tolliver return to Texas at the behest of a wealthy ranching family. Unfortunately, Harper senses more than she should, and soon she and Tolliver find their lives in danger. Tied up in all this is their blended family, and the mystery of what happened to Harper's older sister when she vanished eight years ago.

This book is okay, but it's frankly a little bit blah. The plot often seemed far-fetched, and hardly ever made use of Harper's "skills" like the previous novels. Also, a lot of the family dynamics seemed to run off into dead ends. The secondary characters were not as well fleshed-out as they could have been, and it seemed like a lot of the book was spent sitting around in various places waiting for things to happen. Although it provided a lot of back story for Harper and Tolliver, a lot of that seemed either unnecessary or repetitious.

Not to mention that the whole "He used to be my brother and now he's my boyfriend" things is kinda weird. Luckily, the other characters in the book bring that up nearly every other page so no one can forget.

On the whole, I found this fairly disappointing. Since the overarching mystery of Cameron gets solved in this one, I am guessing this may be the final book in the series. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone except a true Harris enthusiast.

Cannonball Read 2 #32: Columbine by Dave Cullen

As anyone who follows this blog knows, I am fascinated by disasters. I know more about shipwrecks, fires, and molasses floods than anyone I know. I love the historical context, the idea that disaster brings out both the best and worst in people. However, I like my disasters in the past--a past where men wear watch fobs and women wear corsets and people travel by buggy--basically, a past so distant to me it might as well be another planet. I am not quite as comfortable when the disaster occurred during my lifetime--for example my review of 1 Dead in Attic, a series of essays written about the disaster of Hurricane Katrina. However, that still seemed pretty foreign--I've never been to Louisiana, and have no real reference as to how that whole thing might feel. Columbine was different.

I was a junior in high school on April 20, 1999. I remember when the news reports of the massacre in Colorado started trickling in--this was in the days before cell phones were everywhere, before texting, Twitter, and Facebook allowed information to pass almost instantaneously across the country. Columbine was not the first school shooting, but up until that time it was the biggest. We heard rumors--there were two shooters! Three! Five! They were a gang of goth misfits striking back at the jocks! There were guns! Bombs! Fires!--and we wondered. Some kids' parents came and took them out of school for the afternoon. The following year, they ran a "disaster drill" to determine police reaction times and school policies (as a member of the drama club, I was there to play "terrified student"--most of us who participated thought that any gunman with half a brain could easily kill significantly more of us than we suspected). One of my friends got hassled by the administration because he looked like a goth and had an attitude problem, a kid in my math class got arrested for having bomb-making materials in his car. This particular disaster actually EFFECTED me, which is why reading about it was so disconcerting and uncomfortable.

Dave Cullen has used his incredible research and interview skills to put together a portrait of the killers based on their own writings, videos, and history. He's interspersed the tale of their plan to kill with the lead-up and aftermath of their deadly spree, interviewing witnesses, police officers, FBI agents, religious leaders, scientists, and psychologists. He tries to lay out all the available facts (so much of what came out as "fact" at the time was merely distortions of distortions passed from one news outlet to the next until the story was universally accepted) and create a timeline of what happened and when. He talks about the reactions of survivors, the struggle the kids of Columbine HS made to return to normal and cope with everything they'd seen. Cullen tracks the police cover-up, trying to document what they knew and when, analyzing whether they might have been able to prevent the tragedy if they'd acted on the information they had. With the help of a friend--a psychologist who worked for the FBI and who happened to be one of the first on-scene because his son was a freshman at Columbine High--the author examines the two boys' history to try and figure out if anyone could have averted this deadly spree.

At the heart of his book, Dave Cullen tries to pin down the most elusive piece of the tragedy: why? What had driven two teenagers from relatively average backgrounds to attempt to kill every one of their peers? Who were Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold really? Were they misunderstood loners? Monsters? Pliable teens driven to a horrific act by Marilyn Manson or video games or violent movies or bullies? Cullen sifts through their journals, their videos, their interactions with friends to try and give us a complete picture of who these two were before they pulled on their trench coats, strapped on their guns, and set out to create havoc and destruction. The author tries to be totally objective, though it's hard not to react to the two boys. Harris was a textbook psychopath: charming, manipulative, deceptive, sadistic, and with a totally out of control sense of superiority. He is clearly the driving force, the villain of the piece, if it must have one. Klebold, on the other hand, seems like more typical teenager--mired in suicidal depression and uncontrollable mood swings, he seems to have been swept into Harris's fantasy world and grasped on to it as a way out. He's still a loathed figure of anger and destruction, but by his own words he's also shown to be confused and pathetic. Sometimes as I read I found myself feeling sorry for him, having to remind myself that he helped kill 13 people and injure more than a dozen more.

The style of the book is as objective as possible, and the author does everything he can to avoid injecting himself or his opinions into the narrative. Judging by the extensive notes and bibliography section, the nine years he spent writing the book were spent researching in great depth. The writing is clear and simple--it does not try to shock, but instead to convey as much information as possible. I was pleased to discover the book has no photos -- that would have been exploitative, in my opinion. On the whole, though I can't say I exactly enjoyed the book, I thought it was worth reading. Dave Cullen did his best to explain what happened and give the possible reasons why. Columbine takes a dark and confusing monster from my generation's past and shines a light on it, exposing it as nothing more than humanity gone awry.

Cannonball Read 2 #28: The Night Country: A Novel by Stewart O'Nan

The Night Country is narrated by Marco, one of three high school juniors who died in a horrible car crash. Along with Toe and Danielle, Marco has been drifting as invisible ghosts through the small town of Avon, being "called" to those who are thinking of them. They spend most of their time with Brooks, a police officer who was there the night of the accident and has been unable to forget, Tim, their friend who somehow escaped the crash unscathed, and Mrs. Henderson, the mother of their friend Kyle, whose body survived the crash, but whose personality and mental capacity didn't. One year to the day from the tragedy, we--with the three ghosts--watch events spiral out of control.

The book is great, and although not what I call a "ghost story" necessarily, it does have a lot of suspense regarding what the living characters will do, and what--if anything--the ghosts will do to intercede. The tension builds and builds as it becomes obvious what Tim's plan to celebrate the anniversary is. When the ghost of "real Kyle" also shows up--on a different plane, perhaps, than the other three--his motivations are also cause for suspense.

The book is well-written, though I think of it almost more as a YA book than as an adult novel. The only thing really adult about it is the language, and even that is pretty tame. It was well-written, and the characters were fairly well fleshed-out. On the whole, I enjoyed it and would recommend it as a light read.

Cannonball Read 2 #24: Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison

I loaned this book to a friend, who read about half of it and then returned it saying, "Is nothing supposed to happen?" It's true that it's not a particularly exciting book--there are no explosions, hurricanes, or robot invasions. However, I found the story of Ruth Anne "Bone" Boatwright--a girl born into tough circumstances in a rough-and-tumble "white trash" family in South Carolina--to be utterly riveting.

The Boatwright clan is described brilliantly, and Bone's numerous aunts and uncles (as well as her mama, the youngest of the group) all take on a brightly-colored life of their own. Bone's coming of age story, her attempts to both fit in to her family and to perhaps find a way to rise above it, are excellent. Although it's not a happy story, as life never seems to cut Bone a break, it does a great job of illustrating her careful navigation of family dynamics. Bone has to discover her place, take her knocks, and "become a Boatwright."

I like Allison's style, and the character of Bone has a strong, distinctive voice. As I said, the descriptions of the family are quite good, and make what could be a difficult task (keeping track of all those aunts, uncles, and cousins) easier. On the whole, a great book for those who enjoy quiet character studies.

(The film version starring Jena Malone, Ron Eldard, and Jennifer Jason Leigh is also quite good and I highly recommend it.)

Cannonball Read #44: Lisey's Story by Stephen King

I have to hang my head and admit that I thought Stephen King might be done. I thought that after his accident his books had headed downhill and might not be coming back. I mean, Dreamcatcher was kind of terrible in my opinion. Then I read The Cell and thought that maybe things were improving. Lisey's Story made me sure.

Lisey's Story is the story of Lisa "Little Lisey" Landon, widow of famous author Scott Landon. Two years after Scott's death, Lisey begins trying to organize his papers. As she goes through his things, her past (and Scott's) begin to catch up with her. It turns out that there are dangers approaching from within and without, and Lisey will need help from her crazy older sister...and possibly from her dead husband.

It's kind of hard to elaborate on the plot much more than that, because it's such an odd book. To say much more would give away some of the surprise, and I would hate to spoil it even the slightest bit for anyone who's thinking of reading this one. I liked the character of Lisey--she had a strong voice, and seemed like a strong, likable female character. The other main character in the story is Scott, and he is also well-drawn. I thought the plot was tolerable. The main thing I loved about this was the literary gymnastics that I so revere King for. His use of words in both dialogue, narration, and description is fantastic. Some of the language can be a bit troublesome at times--sort of in the way that A Clockwork Orange can be troublesome--in that the character is kind of speaking in "couple language," the language a couple develops over many years, with special words and inside jokes. It may take the ready a chapter or so to truly adjust, but it is SO worth it.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this book and will most likely read it again. It's spooky, funny, and as far as I'm concerned extremely well-written.

Cannonball Read #31: Running With Scissors: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs

The Boyfriend and I watched the film made from Running With Scissors a while ago, and both of us were very disappointed. Much like the movie we were tricked into watching which described itself as a gangster film but turned out to be full of unnecessary ass-raping, this movie was sold as a comedy, and it totally wasn't. Apparently, they took all the really funny bits and put them in the trailer so the film would appear to be a hilarious when really it was just extremely depressing.

The story is of young Augusten Burroughs, who has a crazy mother and distant, alcoholic father. When his parents divorce, his mother has a nervous breakdown and leaves Augusten at the home of her therapist and his wacky family. Augusten is forced to navigate through the maze of dealing with the Finch family (who are all a bit nutty themselves) while trying to decide how he relates to the world and how much he is going allow his life experiences to effect him.

Luckily, the book actually IS funny. Perhaps the difference is that the Augusten in the book is kind of a pompous douchebag and I don't feel nearly as badly for him as I do when he's played by Joseph Cross (who looks fragile, vulnerable, and slightly heartbroken no matter what he's doing.) The Augusten in the book is more cynical than one would suspect, and even the most tragic moments are related with a certain humor. Mind you, the circumstances the kid grew up in (IF you believe his story--which has resulted in several lawsuits and he has admitted was generously exaggerated) are disturbing at best, but he manages to find the dry humor in them.

Frankly, I can't say I exactly ENJOYED Running With Scissors. However, I don't necessarily regret reading it.

The movie, on the other hand, I would not recommend to anyone, despite excellent performances from Cross and from Annette Bening as Augusten's mother.

The Caustic Critic's Movie Explo!

I have been watching a lot of movies lately. I have discovered a nifty feature of the cable which allows me to scroll through just the movie listings, choosing the movies I want to DVR with ease.
Not great for my social life, but excellent for my movie watching.

1. Two Mules for Sister Sara - A great 1970 western featuring a typically feisty Shirley MacLaine, Clint Eastwood during that 15 seconds he was attractive, some rad explosions, and an unexpected twist at the end. Highly recommended.

2. The Jubilee Trail -- I must admit that I'm partial to this one not because it's particularly good, but because I own the book it's based on and love it. It does have some nice strong female characters--rarities in 1950s westerns. The book (of the same title, written by Gwen Bristow) is much better though, and includes a lot more of the history of California's entry to the USA. A little predictable but not unpleasant.

3. The Guns of Fort Petticoat -- Another 50s western (I have to admit, I kind of love westerns.) An AWOL Union soldier holes up with a bunch of women in a Texas mission during the Civil War and fights off renegade Indians. Another tough woman movie. Corny but amusing.

4. The Ballad of Josie -- I have to say that Doris Day westerns always disappoint me (my basis of comparison being both this film and the more charming but equally disappointing Calamity Jane). She starts off as this strong female character determined to accomplish something, and she accomplishes it, only to find that what REALLY makes her happy is a nice man and a pretty dress. Boooo. Interesting fact I learned: women in Wyoming actually had to give UP the vote when the state joined the US.

5. Stop or My Mom Will Shoot -- Yes, I know this is trash. Yes, I am aware that most of my loyal readers would rather jam a rusty fork coated in salt into both their eyes rather than watch it. That said, I liked it. I really have this deep-seated enjoyment of Stallone doing comedy. There is something about his hulking form, pervasive head-cold voice, and marginally mobile face that is hilarious to me. This one is not nearly as good as Demolition Man or Tango & Cash but it's an acceptable way to kill 90 minutes.

6. O Brother, Where Art Thou? -- I personally wasn't particularly interested in this one, but The Boyfriend is crazy about bluegrass music, so I gave it a try. It turned out to be surprisingly good. It's certainly no Big Lebowski, and I am still on the fence as to how I feel about George Clooney, but it wasn't bad. I actually enjoyed the music a lot, and I found it cinematically impressive if nothing else. Supposedly this is based on Homer's 'Odyssey' but unfortunately I never read that when it was assigned to me so I wouldn't know.

7. The Poseidon Adventure (Original Version) -- Pretty good for a disaster movie. I'm very partial to films in which a bunch of mismatched characters are forced to band together and conquer something, so this one definitely appealled to me. Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine were both excellent, but I have to say Shelly Winters really stole the show. The special effects weren't great, but they were acceptable, and on the whole I enjoyed it. In any case, it was good to see such an iconic movie, and now I'll know what to expect when I see the remake.

8. King Arthur -- Another kick-ass woman! Great to see Gwenivere slicing people up and running around punching everyone instead of weeping in a corner someplace. Kiera Knightly seems to have a knack for this type of role, and I say let her keep playing them. Clive Owen is quite good as Arthur, and I was impressed with the performances of all the secondary characters as well. It's an interesting historical perspective on the Arthurian legend which I appreciated. Not to mention some totally rad battle scenes.

9. Broken Trail -- This is another western, but in my defense it is new. It's a TNT original, and it wasn't bad. Two ranchers running horses up to Wyoming meet and rescue a group of Chinese girls who were sold into sexual slavery. The cultural awkwardness as well as the danger the men face from the girls' frustrated buyers make for an interesting tale, though I thought perhaps a little less time should have been spent on sweeping cinematic views of high country scenery and a little more into character development or smooth story progression. The Chinese women were difficult to differentiate, the story was jumpy, and the cowboys could have had considerably more depth. Probably should have been a mini-series instead of a two-part movie.

10. Dawn of the Dead (Remake) -- Not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to watch this, as zombie movies give me the heebie-jeebies. Since I DVR'd it, I managed to fast forward through most of the really gory gross parts. The performances were acceptable, and there were still a couple points that really creeped me out. I won't give it away, but the bloody whiteboard gave me an extremely nasty turn. I ahve to admit, one of my main thoughts was "Doesn't this mall have a leather store? 'Cause if it were me, and I was thinking about venturing across the parking lot or wherever, I'd want to be outfitted in head-to-toe bike leathers or something. Not that they'd be a LOT of protection, but something that's designed to protect your skin from asphalt at 30mph should offer at least a little resistance to zombie teeth." Not a bad flick--probably attracts me for the same reasons I described re: The Poseidon Adventure.

Sleepers

I just finished reading Sleepers again, and as usual, it leaves me with a great desire to see the movie. Unfortunately, I KNOW that I'll be disappointed with said movie. Why? you ask. Well, you'd think it would be a pretty good movie. I mean, the plot is gripping and interesting and the movie is jam-packed with starpower. I mean, come on: Robert DeNiro, Dustin Hoffman, Brad Renfro, Minnie Driver, Billy Crudup, Brad Pitt, Kevin Bacon AND Ron Eldard (whom I secretly find considerably more lust-worthy than Brad Pitt for reasons still unknown) all in the same movie! Yet the movie fails. The reason for this abysmal failure lies with the time period the movie was filmed in. It was filmed during a time when heads of studios and casting directors alike shared the tragic and mistaken idea that Jason Patric could act. Yes, I know you are all wondering how a misconception of this magnitude could have occured, and I have no easy answers for you. All I know is that for some reason he was given the narrative lead in this movie and he single-handedly causes it to plummet to earth in a ball of flaming wreckage. He's like an enormous black hole of talent, and the rest of the cast must struggle valiantly but ultimately in vain to to avoid being sucked in with him. I simply can't imagine why they chose Jason Patric for that part. What--was Edward Norton busy? Johnny Depp wasn't interested? They couldn't even get a Baldwin brother (the younger two Baldwins kind of suck, but they are not even in the same league of suckitude as Jason Patric.) As you may have noticed, I find it tremendously irritating that a movie I want so badly to like (how often does Ron Eldard even get close to top billing?) is just so unbearably awful. Fuck the studio system!

Welcome to the Dollhouse

So the other day, I tried to watch Welcome to the Dollhouse and found myself completely unable to do so. It was just too physically painful. I haven't seen a movie that relentlessly depressing in a long time, and I don't think I'll subject myself to another one any time soon. Part of the reason I disliked it was that I remember what a complete torture middle school was. I remember how mean kids can be and how adults really just don't get it at all. But the other side of the issue--and the one that disturbed me more--was how much I wanted to kick Dawn Weiner's ass myself. She was just so dorky and pathetic. It brought up a lot of old feelings I always had about a girl I was friends with at that age. I mean, I liked her--she was okay most of the time--but there were many times I wanted so badly to shake her until her teeth clacked together and yell "If you'd just be normal for five minutes, they'd leave you alone! Why do you have to be so fucking WEIRD?" I suppose this reveals me as not being the non-conformist free-spirit I've always tried to play myself off to be, but in middle school, it's less about ideals and more about surviving the day basically intact. I guess what I learned was that there were times that being "weird" was great, but that there were some times you had to suck it up and try to blend in. A part of me applauded that girl and her complete refusal to even try to fit in, but I have to admit that a larger part of me wanted rather badly to kick her ass. I suppose you could say that I lost some of my creative sparkle or childlike naivete or whatever, but looking back now, I go "God, no wonder everyone picked on us--we were complete fucking freakballs." And that's probably not a good thing, but I totally understand the urge that other kids had to pick on us. Because I definitely felt it watching Welcome to the Dollhouse. Even though half of me would be thinking "This poor girl," the other half would be thinking "Jesus, could she BE any dorkier?" The only character I even sort of liked was Brendan Sexton, and he was a complete jackass. So there you go.