A Short Review: Bridge Over the River Kwai

Just finished watching 'Bridge On the River Kwai.' Didn't like that either--at least in 'Chasing Amy', no one died.

The whistling bit was good, though.

Also, were I one of Nicholson's officers, the minute I got out of that disciplinary shack, I would have strangled him with my bare hands.

Woe Is Banky: Chasing Amy

Watched Chasing Amy today. Despite great performances from the leads and some fantastic comedic moments, I didn't like it. It depressed me. Ending = sad. And while I figure I was supposed to feel sorry for Holden because he lost the love of his life, oh poor guy, or maybe for Alyssa because Holden treated her like shit. Instead, the character I found myself sympathizing with most was Banky. I mean, he's got this great thing going, he and his best friend for 20 years--they live together, they work together, they hang out together--they're happy. Then along comes this woman and fucks everything up. They end up not even being friends, really. And okay, he was kind of a jerk in his attempts to get rid of her, but it's not like he was making shit up or anything. He was merely notifying Holden of facts that were more or less public record. And while maybe he was a little out of line, he did bring up some valid points about her possible agenda--and only then when his closest friend began trying to change him. Kevin Smith has a real hard-on for the whole "Best Friend vs. Girlfriend" storyline. It's kind of an interesting study. Oh, if only I had his drive and his gift for dialogue and characterization...Kevin Smith is SO my idol. And now I have seen ALL his movies, and count myself a true aficienado.

A Very Brief Statement: Road to Perdition

Road to Perdition didn't really live up to the hype. And Tom Hanks's "fathead" is only getting worse as he ages.

How Did I Get Talked Into This?: Vampiros Lesbos

"Vampiros Lesbos" = tragically terrible 1970s movie about lesbian vampires (obviously.) No graphic sex, but an excessive amout of naked women writhing and moaning. Did I mention it was all in German?

I am Spartacus!: Spartacus (duh)

No, I'm not really Spartacus. But I did watch the movie today. Kirk Douglas was very good, but he has a very disturbing chin. When I think of chiseled old actors, I think I have to prefer Burt Lancaster. But the cut-out scene where Crassus (Sir Laurence Olivier) hits on Antoninus (Tony Curtis) by asking whether he likes to eat oysters, snails or both was put back in, which made me happy. Apparently (I learned from reading the production notes) they had to re-dub that scene, and while Curtis is still alive, Olivier was not, so they had Sir Anthony Hopkins read his part. And there's your fascinating but random movie fact for the day. I liked the movie until the ending, which was predictably depressing. Blah.

"He's cute...you know, for a crazed killer...": American Psycho

Watched 'American Psycho' with Evil Puppetmaster. While I wouldn't necessarily call it "brilliant" I thought it was very good, and not as unsuccessful as Evil Puppetmaster argued. It was a nice satire on yuppie culture. And I personally found Patrick Bateman kind of loveable in that "unpleasant yuppie/psychotic killer" sort of way. It helps, I suppose, that I'd probably pay to watch Christian Bale sit on a box and breathe. However, watching him murder Jared Leto with a really really shiny ax was probably the high point of my day. Psycho killer, yes, but he has GREAT skin and an unerring fashion sense. Is that an equal trade-off? Some would say yes.

Assweasels!: Dreamcatcher

Went to see Dreamcatcher which was better than I anticipated. It's the first time the movie was better than the Stephen King book (at least that I've seen. I've admittedly never seen The Shining so one never knows.) In fact, the movie made MORE sense than the book, which was odd. I wouldn't see it again; the assweasels--which look like vaginas with teeth--are pretty scary. I thought most of the acting was very good, though Morgan Freeman's eyebrows sure chewed some scenery. And I only hid my face in my companion once--that first ass-weasel was a little bit traumatizing. I went to the bathroom shortly afterward, and have never been so frightened by an automatic flush toilet in my life. But I must admit, the movie was nowhere near as scary as Signs was.